Sexual Health
+1 y

A PSA about P*ssy

A PSA about P*ssy

That’s right: I wrote a whole take about vaginas; hoohas, pussies, vajayjays, clams, honey pots, FANNIES. Whatever you call it, it’s all attached to the same sacred body part of the wondrous female: the genitals. Now you may be wondering: RJ, why in the hell are you writing about vaginas? You creepy pervert!

Pervert I am not, creepy perhaps a touch. But I have a real, well-meaning intention behind writing this take, and it is to provide a public service announcement to all ages of men and women regarding some of the ridiculous ideas, standards, and myths about the clam pot.

I can’t go through one day of scrolling through the G@G feed without some young woman worrying about how her vagina looks and smells, and sometimes I even find young boys and grown men complaining about the same things.

Girls:

"He wants to eat me out, but I’m afraid of the smell. What do I do?"

"My labias stick out, is that disgusting?"

"There’s discolouration around my vagina … am I gross?"

Guys:

"Why doesn’t she just shave? Pussy hair is gross, bleeehhhh!"

"Her vagina smells bad, how can I make her wash it?"

"Her labias are unattractive and I want her to get surgery, does that make me a bad person?" (This was a legitimate question at one point)

When I see all of these questions pop up, I think only one thing: you are all so uneducated about the love kitten. So ladies and gentlemen I hope you aren’t the awkward types because here is some insight on the rare and elusive vagina, from facts, myths, and general information … or … should I say … GENITAL … information. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. See what I did there? Did you? Okay … moving on:

Fact: Vaginas have a scent

Wait, what? Vaginas don’t smell like roses? Or birthday cake? They smell like … vaginas!? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!? AHHH!!!

A PSA about P*ssy

Okay, clearly I am over exaggerating, but I am so very tired of hearing people obsess over the fact that the vagina has a scent, because … well, let’s be honest: vaginas don’t smell good in general. Sell the whole “if you eat a ton of fruit you’ll smell sweet” crap all you want but no honey dew melon is going to make a vagina lose its inherent: I’m a freaking vagina smell. Take it from a 70% herbivore: no fruit has made my lady bits smell sweet, and I eat a ridiculous amount of fruit. It still smells like a vagina.

Of course, if you don’t wash out the clam pot it’ll start to smell perhaps a bit extra clammy, but no amount of feminine wash, soap or spray will ever take away that hint of pussy that your lady bits are SUPPOSED TO HAVE. Yes, your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina, and shoving all kinds of soap in it isn’t actually good for it. As a matter of fact, people don’t realize that the vagina is basically a self-cleaning model and it doesn’t require much fuss or muss outside of warm water. Ask any gyno and they’ll tell you that using standard soaps can mess with your feminine pH levels, which should ideally remain between 3.5-4.5 in order to prevent unhealthy bacteria from forming down there. Using too much soap can cause irritation, infection and even INCREASE the likelihood of you forming foul odors.

A PSA about P*ssy

Instead, you should regularly only use water to clean your girlfriend, and if you really struggle with scent then dermatologists recommend you use a feminine-hygiene specific wash or cleansing cloth. There is no need to abuse these products however, they should be used as per their recommended daily use indicates.

Embrace the aroma of the cooter!

Fact: Vaginas don’t all look the same


Vaginas are like snowflakes: no two are the same, and they get wet when you make them hot, especially if you put your tongue on them. ~ RJ 2016

A PSA about P*ssy

Am I making you uncomfortable yet? Good, good.

Riske humor aside, I am being quite serious when I say that not all vaginas belong to a slab of dough that’s intended to be molded by a perfect cookie-cutter that makes it a pristine, perfectly packaged puss. Some have no visible labias, some have dangling labias; some have discolouration while some may be accompanied by foopas. Whatever the case may be, if your vagina functions normally, then it looks exactly how it was meant to.

Generally speaking as well as specifically speaking, we put way too much unfair pressure on ourselves and one another with this ridiculous concept of we are all “supposed” to look a certain way. Really, if you take that statement alone and really think about it for a moment, you will immediately catch the flaws in its logic. First of all: if we were all meant to have perfectly bald baby vajeejoos that have all of the bits well and tucked up inside of themselves like a proper lady then we all WOULD. But, not everybody does.

I won’t lie, I never knew that there were women who had labias that hung outside of the vagina until a few years ago when a good friend of mine voiced her concerns about it; before then, I didn’t know belittling terms like “meat curtains” even existed. I just remember thinking to myself: how sad that people judge the look of a vagina when it’s worth its weight in gold. I hope they never get laid.

So to those of you with coarse pubic hair, discolouration, “meat curtains”, foopas, or whatever else, know that your punani is not abnormal, or gross, or weird. Just like your finger print, your vajeen is unique to you and it certainly doesn’t make you more or less attractive. If that doesn’t make you feel better, then consider this: once you open that sucker up, they all look like they’re a few teeth away from looking like a monster out of Silent Hill. Or the predator's mouth.

A PSA about P*ssy

Myth: Shaving pubic hair is easy and no big deal

Screw you. If you only understood the plight!

For those of you who have ever bitched about a girl having pubic hair, let me educate you really quick: the vagina is sensitive, inside and out. Have you ever had razor burn on your face? You know … those itchy, irritated red bumps? Imagine getting those on your two-eggs-and-a-hanky for a second and tell me that shaving my vagina is no big deal.

The skin on the vagina is quite sensitive, so shaving almost always promises little pimple-like rashes and even boils (yes, boils, puss filled boils, imagine it, never forget it) to form, typically as a result of razor burn or ingrown hairs. That’s right: that perfectly naked look lasts for a day maximum before the barrage of irritation can start. That means that if we shave down there, we have to take a lot of measures to make sure we don’t break out into looking like we have some kind of STD.

That means sharp, new razors, thick lather, and potentially more products to prevent bumps from forming; which, if you didn’t know, keeping your razor in practically NEW condition is pretty hard if you need to use it regularly. Then of course there’s the one-to-two-day stubble period which is even more fun. We can’t just shave back over the grain every time hair sprouts up, Chuck, unless we want to guarantee irritation.

So the easy solution is clearly to just get it waxed, right?

A PSA about P*ssy

Bite me.

I’ve had a Brazilian before, and while it was effective, it was the most AWKWARD experience I have ever had in my entire life. Having some stranger rip hair out of your lady bits at every angle, crack-to-crack is not only extremely painful, but it’s mortifyingly embarrassing and weird. Not to mention you have to do a follow up appointment pretty much every week to two weeks depending on how fast your hair grows back – which yes, means you have to grow the hair back out before you can wax it again.

So if you have a girl that trims, shaves, or waxes, please be grateful and non-judgmental if she isn’t always perfectly plucked bald, would you?

Myth: The more sex a woman has, the looser her pussy gets

This is just silly.

People have this notion that only virgin vaginas or vaginas that are inexperienced are “tight” while an experienced one is “loose.” I don’t know if you all understand how the body words, but if you were to say, stretch your mouth like you were making a funny face … what do you think would happen? No matter what your mothers told you, it wouldn’t stay that way; it’d go back to normal. So unless she is trying to pry her vagina open for hours on end like she’s spacing her earlobes … you can drop that notion.

Yes, when you’ve never had a penis it might be a little bit tighter and difficult to insert yourself into the vagina, but that goes far beyond the simplistic idea of “tightness”, it’s actually a little more muscular than that. The vaginal muscles, when in a state of rest, are clenched tightly, which only increases with anxiety and lack of arousal. The more aroused and relaxed a woman is, the easier it is to insert. The more accustomed one becomes to having sex, the easier the process is. It’s that simple.

A PSA about P*ssy

It doesn't mean your dick is doomed to unsatisfying sex for the rest of your relationship, dingbat.

That’s right; that means that just because a woman has had sex with multiple guys doesn’t mean she has a gaping hole down there. That also means that just because she’s had children doesn’t mean that her vagina is just this dangling slab of meat that is going to feel like a bucket of wet rags. Will she feel like a virgin? No, but if she keeps the muscles strong down there, you’re fine.

I think I've traumatized you all enough for one day. If you enjoyed this take and would like to see more like it on other sex-related topics, respond with the hashtage #sexedwithRJ. Depending on how well this does, I'll do a follow up take about penises. Yes: PENISES. I hope you all found this nonetheless comforting, enlightening, or at least laugh worthy, because while I made light of it, #vaginashame is a very real and unfortunate thing that I feel just does not need to exist. We're coming into a time where being ashamed of your body is something we are ever trying to eradicate, and what better way for me to contribute than by sharing some #pussylove with all of you today.

I hope you all have a great week and I look forward to your feedback.

41 30

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

33 72
Show Popular Opinions(20)

  • Oh snap (per)!

    That was a great read 🙋

  • Well didn't know Fannie meant vagina, I thought it was the butt, the backside, the fluffy pillow guys lay their heads on.

  • Let's have a toast to the most beautiful thing in this universe ! 🍻
    #sexedwithRJ

    • I raise my glass to you my friend.

  • i.ytimg.com/vi/DHzjgNoRmjg/maxresdefault.jpg
    Useless information for me...

    • ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. WRONG PICTURE

      https://ci.memecdn.com/386/4605386.jpg

    • By the way, the comparison of "stretching" a vagina stretching your mouth is the best analogy I've heard to explain how a vagina doesn't lose it's tightness. Cool.

  • Id like to add some men have vaginas to.

    • Noted my friend.

  • Good take, and the most impressive collection of synonyms for "vagina" in one prose!

    Your thesaurus got a workout! ;)

  • I think pussies smell kind of nice when they're clean.

    • i agree! :P

    • Remove "kind of", though.

  • I'm more of the opinion that waxing your pubic hairs is like wearing stiletto's, I just find it a bit pointless, there's no functionality (I understand it's about aesthetics) to it.
    Also we grow pubic hair to show that we aren't children, we're sexually mature adults,,, what's with the wanting to look like pre-pubescent children thing?

    • goodness, thank you! I feel the same. it looks way too childlike, especially for someone who did a lot of babysitting/changing diapers growing up. the first time I saw a guy shaved down there I got so creeped out I stopped shaving myself.

    • Some people prefer to be bald. You guys look like prepubescent kids down there before you get hard... Lol. Ijs.

    • @thewanderingme @shadiamond Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this point of view, I'd be all lonely otherwise

    • Show All

  • From reading your take it just shows me how gullible/naïve I am - I thought those questions were people trolling, I didn't realise they were serious - Hopefully your take clears up a lot of misconceptions

  • the way you just opened up initially in your take actually got me to chuckle a real good one. hahaa.

  • I never understood why people take shaving that region for granted, I find it scary so I don't expect it at all. Just trim it, it's better for everyone.

    • I have no issue with shaving, though people seem to think that I do. I groom personally but my main point was that guys gotta appreciate the effort that goes into it and not be so butthurt if we're not bald all of the time. I do think you have a point on the trimming part, might be easier for some.

  • my vagina smells great.

    if a female smells bad down there, she either has a hygiene problem, wearing underwear that's too tight/not breathable and breeding the wrong bacteria or yeast, or has some sort of infection.

    • and eating lots of fruits and veggies makes the vag TASTE sweet-ish, not smell sweet. ;)

    • I was going to say something that this is misleading. If it smells bad there is a problem. I know this and I am a guy.

    • @Hwlsop how is this misleading? if it smells bad, there is something wrong.

    • Show All

  • lol, penis and balls smell like cumin x100. But nobody talks about that though. Unless youve just washed up , trust me its not the most pleasant smell. Lol, yea girls are very self conscious about it. Crazy we should be learning in sex ed , how they can look. All I learned was i will get my period and dont get pregnant.

  • I'm traumatized from those images. Is that little swirl really supposed to be a clit lol

    • Yeaa it is the clit... Lol :-D Why are you traumatised?

    • Get circumcised. No need for that ugly clit.

    • lol because who has a clit that big? And why is it on the outside? Maybe I really did need to read this take- to expose myself to different types of vaginas...

    • Show All

  • Actually, my vagina used to be very tight and after being with my ex boyfriend a while, who was very big, he started commenting that I felt loose. I think it does loosen up over time but because it's a muscle, it will tighten up to it's original shape when it's not active.

    I agree with the shaving.. it's soooo difficult! I've got very thick hair everywhere so when I shave, it's hard not to get those bumps. I feel like I'm constantly shaving and applying cream.. which doesn't really help. Its gotten a bit better over time but still not a walk in the park. I've been considering getting it waxed!! Would need a lot of alcohol for that haha

    Cool take!

  • This is a great myTake with a great message. I thought I was pretty knowledgeable about this topic but --- what the hell is a foopa? lol

    • A fat or chubby upper pubic area.

  • good article for those your column was targeted to hopefully people who are scared if they are normal will open there eyes and realize they are. also to love them selves and if someone doesn't except you for the person you are then they dont deserve to be with you

  • Great take. Loved it.

  • Yay for vaginas!

  • Good take. I don't like genitals really. I like what they do though :P

    • ... I mean when it comes to sex.

    • I thought a fanny was a butt?

    • fanny means pussy in england lol

    • Show All
  • Show More (65)
Home >  Sexual Health  > A PSA about P*ssy