ABDL - help me to understand?

[sexyeyes8589]

So here is the deal, not only did my boyfriend tell me that is was in to bondage that he likes to be tied up and be my slave, he turns around with another shocker telling me he is into ABDL, but that it's mostly emotional a little bit of a turn on but it's mostly just having someone care for him. So for the 1st time he put a diaper on and I froze I didn't know what to do, or understand why a grown man would want a diaper on. So I guess I am looking more for someone to explain possible what's going on in his head when he has one on, maybe what he is looking for me to do...(cause I ask him and he just acts like I should already know) I just don't know what there is I can do cause I am so not into any of this and maybe that's where I go wrong, I mean we have sex but I don't think he enjoys it as much as I do because he is into the other and I anit so I rather just have sex, almost like love making sex, Can someone please just help me out and tell me something...

[sammysamson84]

everyone has his little (or not so little) fantasies or fetishes ... if you look long enough you can find something on everyones mind ...

so basically your question is: "how to deal with this?"

first, give yourself some time to think about it: if you can accept it, or if it's a total no-go for you ...

think about his personality, do you really like him? do you love him? has this changed since he told you about his fetish? if you feel something has changed: isn't he still the same person?

answer those questions just for yourself and give yourself a few days to think about it ... after that, go and talk to him

if you think that you can respect him the way he is, it shouldn't be a big deal ...

if you don't think that you can do that, you both should think about finding someone else, because you need a common base for a relationship, and you most likely won't find one ...

to know what's really on his mind, there is only one thing you can do ... you will have to ask him ... but don't expect a clear answer ... things like that aren't usually reasonable / fully understandable, so maybe he knows what he likes, but can't really explain why ...

but bondage fantasies are quite common ... most people with this type of fantasy just dream about it and don't really try it or speak about it with their partner

explaining bondage in short: ... "Some people have to be tied up to be free"

AB/DL was unknown to me untill today, but I have to admit that I've seen things more weird than this (especially things that can be found in japanese mangas, but that's a different story...)

i've no clue what's his idea behind this, but as you already noted maybe this is about having someone to care for him ... to parent him ... maybe to punish him ...

there are some similarities to bondage so that's probably related

[blondude]

Hello. I am in my 40s and can understand where BOTH of you are coming from... "been there, done that"! So, I am not an 'AB' but turned 'DL' through years of relying on them for noct enuresis. Married to a supportive wife as well (I did this slowly and surely.) Here, supportive is the key. Its a very relative term, but keep it 'balanced'. Give and take, 50/50, both parties knowing and agreeing to limits, etc. (And many other imp items left out for brevity) If u dont want to see him in a diaper during day or at all, tell him. Both parties keeping an open mind and a closed bed. ;) meaning just between the 2 of u and the bed post. Allow him to wear (he needs to have sense and courtesy and not over do or push limits here for sure!!) and slowly incorporate into night, then bed, then sex (YES. possible & fun for BOTH. I made my wife a believer!! ;).

[happychic1990]

Ok so I did I bit or research and found a few journal articles (which I can't link becuase you need access through uni or a subscription) These studies indicated that people with such fetishes MAY have emotional problems regarding their childhood and long for affection they mighten have been given while growing up. Stats also indicated that people with such a fetish are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. I think it may be worth while talking to your partner about why he desires this kind of sexual act so much, it may due to childhood issues or merely something kinky he saw in a p*rno or heard about and wanted to try. Understanding the reasons why he is into this kind of thing will help you understand his desires better while enabling you to get to know him better. It may be a little difficult and awkward to discuss especially if it stems from childhood issues but I think it will be worth while.

Good Luck.

Also only do what your comfortable with, after all you need to enjoy the sex aswell.

[jackflynn7]

Yes. Go now. This is way beyond bizarre. You need to look for a normal human guy next time.

[sexyeyes8589]

No I love him and I get his fetish sorta

[Cartiphilus]

He's correct this guy has some SERIOUS problems. He's not worth traveling down a road of aberrant behavior and madness.

[Pete671]

I'm DL, need to wear after a spinal injury, not into the AB side of things as an AB, but have taken on the role of carer for a 27 year old AB, changing and bathing, it's a very sensual thing which involves caring for another who likes to be vulnerable but safe, if that makes sense,,,

They also like being spanked but I only do this to them if they wet their nappy properly, which kinda reassures them that to pee your pants is really ok if you want to,,,

If they have been naughty I won't let them wear a nappy and lock the bathroom so they have to wet their regular clothes, they love the idea of being forced to wet, in that they enjoy it but are kinda reluctant to admit it,,,

[acm13]

Well you should start punishing him and spanking him. You need to diaper him. show him that you are the boss. You might really like it. If you are his soulmate than you will

[pampermybottom]

Can you adopt me off as your baby in real life please and i need a momma asp call or text me at 4173701571

[Anonymous]

I cannot answer about the bondage thing, but I can understand the ABDL thing.

First, I would go to understanding. infantilism. org it can explain a lot.

For me when I am in my ABDL mood and put on and yes use diapers, it has to do with putting aside all the stresses that come with being an adult. For me it started in childhood and have never gone away. I cannot explain it, but when I am diapered I feel so much more relaxed and stressed free. I even sleep better.

In the end it's up to you if you want to continue with this relationship. However, I have to ask, is this really all that bad? There are guys out there how hurt and even kill their girlfriends. An ABDL usually only wants to be submissive and taken care of.

[Eeyore11784]

I don't know when this question was posted. I just searched for abdl and it came up. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions. The guy I've been talking to is into this. I'd like someone else's perspective. Thanks.