Sexual Health
+1 y

Am I damaged goods?

I've never told anybody this because I'm ashamed and scared but,I've been raped by my older cousin 3 times and he's 6 years older than me.The only person I managed to tell was my boyfriend and that was because we were talking about having sex,but when I told him he became disgusted and told me I am sick and he wants a girl who isn't damaged goods? I didn't want to have sex with my cousin but he forced me and made me even though I begged him not to,but I don't want to tell,i know I should get over it.the last time he did it I was 14 but I'm 16 now.Am I damaged goods?what can I do to not be damaged goods?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Thats just terrible. What happened to you was not something you can control and very horrible. I have a strong demand to see justice served to those who do wrong. Your cousin should be tried for what he's done.

    What happened is not your fault, never will be, and does not at all reflect your character. NEVER consider yourself damaged goods because your not. The fact that your boyfriend said that to you shows he's not a good person either. He is incapable of understanding the serious wrong that has befallen you and should have given nothing less then support and even called that what happened should be handled by the police. Unfortunately there is a time period as to which a person can be tried for a crime and without any proof he's not likely to be convicted.

    I hope you can move past this terrible event of your life. Please don't let it drag you down like you did something wrong.

  • "Damaged goods" is a stupid term, and the guy is an asshole for using it. Someone is only "damaged" if they get anger and bitterness out of an experience. If you act like a normal person, and not a sexist bastard who thinks because your cousin has issues that must mean every male is a "potential rapist," then there's nothing wrong with you in that respect.

    As for the actual rape, first you need to talk to someone, and then you need to do something about your cousin, because, you know, rape is illegal. I don't think anyone so far has made much of a deal out of it, but you need to do something, because rape is a crime.

Most Helpful Girls

  • As a rape "victim" myself- You are NOT damaged goods. You, are a survivor.

    Any man/boy/guy who labels you as damaged goods is NOT worth the breathe it takes to call him a loser, and you can let him go and walk right on out that door. You are far better than that and deserve the world. Keep your chin up, babygirl.

    You do need to talk to someone as bottling it up and living in fear turns into a lot of issues down the road. I would suggest seeing a counselor, and talking to your parents if you can. You don't just get over something like that, take your time and deal with it however, you need to. IF need be, feel free to message me.

  • No. You aren't damaged goods. There's nothing wrong with you and you didn't do anything wrong. If your boyfriend told you were sick/damaged goods, it's because he is immature and doesn't understand what rape is. Get rid of a guy like that and find someone respectful and understanding. Most guys realize that what happened is not your fault and you are a victim, and won't judge you negatively based on that. Your boyfriend should be supportive of you, not try to make you feel bad about something that happened to you and was out of your control.

  • thats very sad dear, and I honestly think you should go c a counsellor because you obviously haven't gotten over it which is normal since that is a painful experience. and if your boyfriend didn't appreciate the fact that you at least you told him the truth, then he's not worth it. first go see a doctor get help so that you rebuild your self confidence and then think of dating later. good luck dear

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 12

  • You are NOT damaged and there is nothing wrong with you. None of what happened was your fault, and you WILL get over it and be an amazing strong person.

    You can totally get a great guy as a boyfriend who will love you and understand and help you realize that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

  • No,you were raped.Many rape victims consider themselves virgins,because you lose your virginity through consensual sex,not coercion.

    Your ex is immature and did not handle the situation properly.Find a more understanding guy

  • You are not damaged goods.

    You're a girl who has been taken advantage of and if your boyfriend can't come to realize the actual situation then he is the one who is damaged goods. If all he cares about is your sexuality then he's no good for you, he's below you. I would move on and find someone who respects you.

    Furthermore concerning your cousin raping you should be fully resolved in my opinion. Despite the relationship you may have with the relatives connected to your rapist cousin. It's still wrong and needs to be reported. Tell your mother, school counselor, police, or your family doctor.

  • ur not damaged goods. you have been hurt. you need a friend and your boyfriend was an ass nd deserted u. if he can't understand tht you went through a difficult situation he is no good anyway. I'm srry to hear bout this. this shows an unacceptable level of disrespect. a girl should not be treated tht way

  • No, you are not. You are an assault victim, but that has stopped. Clear your mind and stop telling people. Better not to date for a while, but train yourself sexually with masturbation. Learn to love yourself and not think you are damaged or soiled. Virginity is as much intent as it is anatomy. You are still a virgin in your mind and you should un your life accordingly.

  • This type of stuff makes me want to cry.

  • you are NOT damaged good.

    baby girl. I am so sorry about what happened to you, by the way.

    that boy is just an ass and doesn't understand.

    i was raped too, you shouldn't get over it if you don't feel ready.

    and martinsamartian is a moron. she's doesn't let it happen, he makes if happen.

    im going to say again, you are not damaged goods.

    you are so strong for going through that.

    love,

    tara

  • men will see you that way.

    if they aren't talking down to you because of it, a lot of men (such as a lot of the guys on this site), you're going to have a lot of guys trying to "save you", because it makes them feel special and good about themselves.

    take some time away from relationships, be alone - which is the only way you'll fix yourself emotionally. if you don't, you will either attract

    A assholes

    or

    B. "nice guys" with a savior complex.

  • Jesus... this guy isn't worth your attention if that is the response he came out with. Your in no way damaged goods.

    • I agree...if that ever happend to my girlfriend I would go beat the absolute s*** out of him. You're fine and in no ways damaged goods.

  • This is one of those things that the guy is either gonna be a total a** about (like yours was) or they'll completely accept you for who you are, no matter what you've been through. I would personally never break up with a girl just because of this.

  • heard of this numerous times.

    not that uncommon...

  • How did you let it happen 3 times?

    • Let it happen?Do you know what rape is?

    • Fuck you, when was the last time you got raped?

    • Youre a f*** hole.

    • Show All

  • Far from it. You were coerced. You would only be considered damaged if you slept around with bad boys and 'Prince Charmings' majority of the time because they appeared nice on the surface. Also, if that negative experience you had with your cousin gave you a negative perspective on men in general.

  • noooooo! your boyfriend seems like a d*** your better with out him its not your fault you were raped its your couzins and you are definitly not damaged goods

  • "damaged goods" is such a ridiculous term...if your boyfriend refers to you like that, then he never saw your inner beauty, he is just concerned with "goods"...you are better of without him...u need to find someone who can understand you and empathize...

    and apart from that I guess you should take control of your life and move on...there are so many things in life to look forward to and accomplish... :)

  • Your not damaged, but if a guy said that to me HE'D be damaged

  • you are not damaged goods. he is the loser and the creep for saying what he said. that means he doesn't love / even care about you. if he did he would have been more supportive andhelped you in your proble. my advice is talk to someone about it or tell on your cousin. it is disgusting to have sexual relation with a relative. be careful and DO THE RIGH THING!

  • Nothing you can do about it, seek professional help if you have difficulties with dealing with it and him.

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