Sexual Health
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Am I just too big? Help please!

Ok so sorry if this question comes across as graphic or me bragging or whatever because I need some advice and I feel like I should be upfront and honest. so I'm 19 and I've been going out with a great girl for about a year now. we're both virgins and we wanted to be each others' firsts. we didn't want to plan a date for the "big event" because we both agreed that it should be spontaneous. well we've tried for about a month now (around twice a week) to make this happen but there's a problem. I have a rather uhh large penis (she measured me recently, her idea, and at my hardest I was almost 8.5" inches long and about 6.5" around), that she has had trouble with when trying to give me head and handjobs. every time I try to penetrate her, she shouts out in pain and tells me to stop, which I obviously do because I don't want to hurt her. we've tried lube and going really slow but it just doesn't seem to want to happen. what can we do? I really like this girl so I hope we can work something else out if there isn't an obvious answer.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • My husband isn't that big but even at his size which is 7.5 inches and 5.5 inches around I had trouble, we tried for a week and it was painful, there was always a little blood despite him being so gentle. We used a lot of foreplay to get me as excited as possible so I could relax, lube, we tried with fingering and if need be you might have to use a smaller dildo on her since you are so big maybe it would help, I didn't do that and you may want to be the first thing to penetrate her so to speak. If you do use a dildo get a silicon one or one that's really quality, hypoallergenic want to be sure. I found condoms make it harder so make sure you are using good condoms with extra lube if you are using them. Really it was just a lot of slow going he'd try gently and get some in but not all he'd do the motions and try and slowly slip more and more in. We eventually had sex though, great sex and lots of it. Some girls have a small canal anyways (excitement will help) but that could be legitimate issue she may have to go to the doctor if she's not able to insert anything in there, some girls also have a very intact hymen that must be surgically removed. If she's normal I think she will be able to stretch to accommodate but it could be frustrating sex for you for a while. Goodluck!

  • did you really mean 6.5 inches AROUND!?!? HOLY DANNG!

    • yes I did, why? is that big? I thought the average was like 5.5"?

    • The average is a bit under 5.5'' . I got the same problem with my ex girlfriend. I have a 8 incher with a circumference of 6.2'' . We are over average XD So, just take your time. Do it slowly and use some lube.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 1

  • She is a virgin so its going to hurt, alot, its normal! Lube and slow helps but after the first time it will be a lot better. first times is not so much "fun" for girls, but after the pain comes the pleasure lol

  • Is that thing registered? Sounds like a lethal weapon pal.

  • damn I wouldn't let you anywhere near me with that thing

    • haha why not?

    • too big

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