Am I too much of a prude?

[Anonymous]

Alright, I'm much more mature than all of my friends, and I want my first time and everything to be special, though, I have the utmost feeling that I'm being too much of a prude. Like, I don't really want to experiment all that much, and If I do go out with a guy, I don't really get that feeling to just attack and make out and all that other stuff like my friends. I guess part of me is self conscious, but I'm kinda afraid to actually do anything (mostly because I think I'll get attached and they'll dump me, or they'll have an STD or something...). Any advice on how to get over this? (That and I'm questioning my sexuality, and I think that I'd be more likely to kiss a girl, but I want to be in a relationship with a guy....that and guys have a tendency of going from girl to girl and I'm very inexperienced so that might be intimidating, I don't know).

[Anonymous]

Honey there is nothing to get over.............you not getting sexual arouse because your just the type of person who has to have feelings and real attraction for someone. I think it's great that your not letting peer pressure cause you to have sex or experiment just because your friends are doing it. My first sexual experience was with a guy I fell in love with and sex is so much more meaningful and passionate when you have with someone who you love and they love you back. Sex is a very intimate encounter with someone you love. I don't believe that it should be so carefree and in todays world you have to be so careful not to contract a disease, including a life threatening one.

There is nothing to get over, you'll get the feeling until then focus on developing yourself, goals, dreams and passions.

Oh and as for questioning your sexual preference.......we all think about what it would be like to kiss or have sexual relationships with the same sex.........it doesn't mean we act on but it is true we all think about it at one time or another in our lives.....it is quite normal.

Besides woman are beautiful. Why wouldn't you ponder sleeping with another woman.

I have never kissed another woman nor had any type of sexual relations with the same sex but I have fantasized about it when making love to my hubby and it can be a turn on but in the end I am heterosexual........I couldn't imagine having a sex life with -minus the penis.......no way!

Relax and just let it happen naturally!

[Noxith]

You're not too much of a prude.

Don't worry about it.

Also, it's smart to be worried about the consequences of sex, there are lots of them. I myself won't interact sexual with someone if the idea of our genetic material mixing makes me cringe, or if they look dirty. Most of all though, I won't have sex with someone if I don't love them, I just can't do it.

Just be yourself. Eventually you'll find someone that you want to attack and that you won't think to be self conscious around.

[lostandconfused]

You stand by your beliefs! Don't compromise your integrity just to be like everyone else. Too many people are jumping into the sack like it's no big deal and making love is losing it's value. It's supposed to mean something, an intimate experience and you should hold out until you have the moment where you know it feels right and there will be no questioning it. It doesn't make you a prude, it proves you have values.

[ilovelegs]

Just be YOURSELF and only move and allow things at YOUR speed, not his. I hope you're not associating going out with a guy about having sex already. OMG just have fun.. there's a million things to do besides having sex. Get to know him and his family. Go out with him and your friends together. Don't worry that you won't move fast enough for him. If you start feeling that he's putting pressure on you to move faster I think that'd be the time to leave him because he's showing he's more interested in having sex then he is with you as a person. It just seems like on this site, ALL the girls talk about is having sex right away.... like almost before even going to a movie together to doing other fun things where you learn about each other, and each other's strengths and weaknesses and what bring you the most fun and enjoyment. It definitely doesn't have to be having sex right off and it shouldn't!! If you wonder why some girls are slept with 10 or more guys is because they have no clue how to have a loving or fun relationship. it's like the think every guy is after sex as soon as possible and if the girl doesn't dish out she's a prude. Just tell those kind of guys to hit the road. Now if it's YOU that wants the sex stuff, well you'll find plenty of guys that will be happy to accommodate you. Just forget the sex thing until you're ready for it and into a very loving and committed relationship no matter what others are doing. .

[DeltaBoy1983]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting for that special moment! My sister stayed a virgin until she got married at 26. She waited until she was happy with someone she cared about. My brother in law, was experienced, but was very willing to wait because he was in love with my sister. At this stage, don't worry about experimenting and getting buck wild, just go out and have fun and meet that guy or girl you desire. Once you have found that person, and you will know it when you have, then the experimenting will begin. There is nothing wrong with your sexuality, because you could very well be bi. Best of luck on finding that special someone! And no you are not a prude, you just respect yourself and your beliefs!

[lefthand]

Experience is a good thing and you are at the age when you can get a lot of experience, good and bad. Missing out on the bad, drunk sex isn't a bad thing but it sounds like it is starting to wear on you. I personally recommend finding someone you are comfortable with and experimenting a little and seeing how it goes. Keep in mind that sexuality for women is frequently situationally based, you don't know you'll get turned on till you are already there.

Take it easy and go slow but do stick your toes in the water. It's a lot of fun.

[blaznn]

Your not too much of a prude, you just want it to be special. Don't rush into things, a girls first time is something special, so wait for that person. There will be a guy who lights your fire, and will not leave you after you sleep with him. It's okay to be worried, its good to be aware of STD's. Trust me its worth the wait, don't settle for less