An Ode To The Female Vulva

I love pussies, period.

That's all I need to say, really. But I'll elaborate why I find female privates fascinating.

An Ode To The Female Vulva

I'm straight as it gets, and I always felt wonder at how guys don't pay much attention to the vulva but rather pay more attention to boobs, or any other part of the female body.

Pussies rock.


They push out small humans, are self-cleaning, can increase to 200 percent of their original size and are personalized to the their owner with different shapes, colors, smells and tastes. Plus, the clitoris has a higher concentration of nerve endings (8,000 to be exact) than anywhere else in the female body... or male's.

An Ode To The Female Vulva

For once, I think we should talk about how cool vulvas ANDvaginas are. And that all starts with discovery.

First time I pull off my then-girlfriend panties I was fascinated and I took a good look as close as possible to it.

The whole thing was a little weird — the smell, the shape, its location.

But I loved it, and it also felt awesome.

I finally found pussies were the best thing since slice bread out that spring when my parents enrolled me in a WEEKEND LONG (this is no joke) sex education class (a Christian sex-ed class.) There, we saw diagrams, labeled diagrams, prayed, played basketball, ate PB&J’s and had our parents answer all our weird body/sex questions.

The cool thing, though, was that everyone was incredibly open with us about how male and female bodies worked, even about masturbation (not at all what you would expect in a church).

An Ode To The Female Vulva


That class is where I learned about the clitoris and learned that if you touch it, it feels really good for girls.

You know how women are always referred to as mysterious? I’m convinced it’s because vaginas were so unexplored for much too long. Neither we nor our partners really knew or understood the inner, or outer workings of the vulva and vagina. It’s crazy when you consider all the little parts and how they work together to do a million different incredible functions. It's a plus for us men because we get to give more pleasure to our partners and they get to give the favor back to us with more passion.

Who cares if yours doesn’t look like a porn star’s or doesn’t smell like roses? It’s a hot little thing you have down there, regardless of whatever a “perfect” vulva looks like.

An Ode To The Female Vulva

So, the next time you need to relax, turn to your little pink friend and masturbate... and please always remember some of us are really fascinated by the looks of it regardless of how it looks.

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