Anal sex and domination obsession

This guy said he is into anal, when I asked if he is into the idea or the act. He said he is into anal big time because it's domination. Does this mean he is very insecure and need to feel he is dominating by the act? Anyway he can be satisfied without anal?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Does a need to be dominant in bed mean you're insecure? It could be one reason, but its certainly not the only one. I think one traditional Freudian view was that submissives felt guilty about sex and liked to be 'forced' by the other person - who then took all the guilt. Dominants 'punished' the submissive for arousing desire.

    That's just another theory. For whatever reason, a lot of people find mixing power with sex arousing, and given that men tend more often to be dominant then women and women more often then men, at least part of it probably related to instincts as well.

    So I have no idea if he's insecure or not.

    Can he be satisfied without anal? Well, obviously you could do other dom/sub acts. But you already are. And he still wants anal, a lot. The fact you won't do it no doubt makes him - as a dominant - want it more. The more you are hesitant, the more excited he's going to be about it.

    I doubt he'll ever be satisfied having anal - never-. Might he be satisfied by rare anal? That's more possible, but depends on him. But if he's had anal with other women and wants it a lot, I doubt he'll live without it forever.

    • He did say as a man he like to take responsibility to be the one to initiate stuff. He is a firm believer of "treat her like a princess and f*** her like a whore" Sometimes I think he just love to playful fight. The more I say no the more he likes to talk me into it, but he never forces it.

    • Probably. He is turned on by 'making you' do things. If he is -also- a good guy (and I have no idea if he is or isn't) he won't -truly- make you do things. But he finds play-force arousing. So yes, the more you are reluctant, the more he wants to do it. TO be honest you could use that to make other things more exciting for him, by being play-reluctant on things you actually enjoy. But I doubt that will make him fine with no anal.

    • Yes he is a good guy, "TO be honest you could use that to make other things more exciting for him, by being play-reluctant on things you actually enjoy." Good tips, looks like I should playfully say no to everything. You mentioned rare anal. How is it different to anal? I'm not sure if he has tried anal, cos he never mentioned anything about lube...

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  • If he likes anal, he's probably not gonna change. That's his fetish, he'll probably try to lick or touch your poop hole whenever he can. just be careful of prolapsing

    • Nothing to do with dominance that's just his excuse. I'm naturally dominant but only would want to be dominating p****

    • He hasn't touch me there yet, and I told him I'm not going to do that because I don't want to have problem with controlling later on. He goes guys have problem because they do it a lot, once in a while you won't have problem. I think he is lying.. and I agree if you dominating p**** is much more manly

    • He is probably just brainwashed from to much p*rn. Pussy is for men. Leave anal to gay guys. He just wants to get his own way

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Most Helpful Girls

  • it is definitely a dominance thing, some guys like the idea that it causes pain and is tight and it is more dominance than regular sex in some ways. it does not mean he is insecure it is just his sexual preference. some people don't care about adding their preferences and for others it is a major thing

    • He is weird, he said he is into domination but not controlling. He doens't want to cause pain to his partner... I don't know what to believe.. if he wants anal means he is into causing pain

  • Just make sure he's not the one who wants to receive anal. A guy told me he is into lingerie, but I later found out HE likes wearing lingerie.

    • I asked if he wants it in his butt he said no LOL

    • Well that's a relief...at least to me it is :P

    • just be careful of future pink sock

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Perhaps he isn't in control when he's at work and would like to be. I don't feel that there is anything about insecurity about this.

    Less likely to knock a girl up, sometimes it can be tighter than vaginal sex, it is taboo, etc. So that's some of the appeal. Only he can answer if he can only be satisfied by anal sex.

    • He has his own company, so he has full control at work. I asked if he likes that because it's tighter. He said not really, he just likes it because it's domination.

    • I'm sure you can convince him to do some other form of domination, like bondage. Maybe he just likes to always be in control. I think it's good to switch things up a bit personally.

    • I don't mind playing another domination games, just not anal.

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  • Ask him How would he feel if he had a cucc up his ass?

    • I said to him if you think anal is so great, you would like it to be done to you right? He goes no! I'm not taking it because it's a domination thing

    • Oh that is bull anal is just anal no domination at all you either like it or not period. i do not think this guy is well experienced and I stay away from him just because he wants badly you may end up with him pushing his way in without consideration which then yes becomes domination and hurt rather than good sex that you should enjoy the experience

    • He is very dominant in bed, both rough and sensual. Haven't force me into anything I don't like. But he would definitely try talking me into anal when ever the opportunity is there.

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  • Probably not...if he really desires that, then the odds of that desire going away are somewhere between slim & none...this is the same point that I try to make about my love of giving oral...my woman is going to be getting oral ALL the time and so it is not enough that she merely tolerate it...is practically necessary that she actually enjoys...*if not loves*...receiving...this myth that "he/she won't care if they truly love me" is bulllsh*t and does not cut it. Oh yeah...love might carry the day for a year, two, three or five...but when you have been together for 10 or 20 years and that desire is still there and your next door neighbor is willing...eh...

    • he is not willing to give oral. He goes if you let me do anal I will give oral.. he's an idiot

  • If I knew you id happily dominate and f*** the sh*t outta your p**** without even asking for anal, he'd realize what he was missing without that

    • LOL should I tell him that? He has to learn stop being greedy

    • there isn't anything stopping you since he is so set on anal sex so I don't see why not. I know id eat you till you couldn't come any more and f*** you till your p**** is sore and you're begging my d*** to stop (:

    • LOL you sound just like him except you don't ask for anal which is good LOL he should learn from you haha

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  • Anal sex is backwards and it sounds completely gay to me. You won't catch me doing it not now not ever.

    • I asked if he is a closet homo and he denied

    • Sounds like some of his wires are crossed somewhere to me. He's certainly misfiring somewhere. That's way to far for my taste.

    • He probably is homo, or he just like something to "argue" about. He once said to me I love taming you doesn't mean you have to be tamed.

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  • Um...in prisons maybe...

    Has he been to the slammer as of late?

    Anal is kinky because it's subversive, but I wouldn't say it's dominating under normal circumstances. Bondage seems better suited to domination.

    • He is into spanking a girl really hard, pulling a girls' hair calling her names in bedroom. He even got handcuffs. Personally I don't think anal has anything to do with domination.

    • Handcuffs and anal domination? Ha...I think I was right. Sounds like a prison fetish if you ask me.

    • Sounds more like male prison LOL

  • Insecure guys can either revel in their insecurity and want to be submissive, or they can compensate by being dominant. There's no real correlation between the two. So you can't infer anything from his desire to be dominant.

    If he's into anal, then he will never be truly satisfied if anal is an impossibility.

    • He is very established, may be he is a control freak who wants to control things at work and all area in his life?

    • That's possible. But it's quite easy to enjoy Anal without being a control freak. I would say just accept it as one of his kinks and stop trying to read deeper meaning into it.

    • Guess it won't go any further as I'm not interested in trying.