Anal sex too painful..

ok, so my boyfriend really wants to have anal sex with me. we have tried 2 times now, both times we used lots of lube, but it hurt me sooo bad and we had to stop before he could even get the head of his penis all the way in. i feel bad because I want to please him... what can we do to make it hurt less for me?
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • Right, so to give you a REAL answer to what you are asking. They make a topical anal gel that numbs the area, relaxes the muscles (I.E Sphincter) and is sometimes also a lube. It helps out with beginners to anal. And really, it gets a lot better once you've had a little experience, and most of the terrible rumors out there about losing control, are myth and lies by people with an agenda to prove.

    If it weren't illegal for me to tell you, I'd tell you to take a look online at a sex shop and look under anal lubes for a desensitizing cream/lube.

    You shouldn't do it just to please him though, You need to be into it too or else it won't be enjoyable at all. "Rub yourself once you get into it to help yourself relax" is some pretty common advice. Be Safe.

    • Thank you very much. I never thought about touching myself to help me relax. this is very helpful :)

    • I like it myself but, it isn't everyone's thing. The first few times were a bit painful but later I picked up some ways to make it easier to get started and once your into it, it's something fun.

    • I actually know a gurl in H.S that lost control and has to wear an adult diaper. there are consequences to everything.

    • Show All
  • Relax your whole body..AND KEEP IT RELAXED.. tell him to inch it in... once its in tell him to not move an inch at all until the burning and pain stops... and then it is all good.

  • 1. don't do it if YOU don't want to...not just to please him

    2. lots of lube and slowly...fingers first

Most Helpful Guys

  • I hope you're not neglecting the preliminary assplay. You know, the part where he opens you up--slowly--one well-lubed finger at a time, until you can hold a few fingers relaxed and comfortably.

    And I hope he's not entering you all at once, but (again) slowly, an inch at a time.

    Don't consider attempting assplay until you're fully relaxed. You can get into a vicious cycle: Tension leads to constriction, which leads to pain, which leads to the anticipation of pain, which leads to tension, etc., etc.

    Finally, maybe anal isn't for you. There are some physical conditions that can make anal uncomfortable and/or difficult. So if it hurts no matter what you do, it's okay to give up.

    • Great answer id like to add that when I woman gives everything of herself to the one she loves then its all any man can ask for. that's why I love to do it that way. some grate post on here try them and lets us know. those of us who do love it want you to enjoy it. Your young and cute and hott and I'm sure if your even tring this with you boyfriend your give him your everything and he couldn't ask for anything more. what I wouldn't give to have that.

    • Great answer and I like to add, I made a ot of good experience with licking my girlfriend butt before fringering it.. make sure you guys showered and cleand yourself first.

  • I think the best option to try is to use a small dildo on yourself alone and eventually work up to a bigger one once you're comfortable with it. Then this will help you get used to the sensation and figure out what works the best. You can do this over a couple days, weeks, or months before you're ready to try again with your boyfriend.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

1 11
  • Have you ever thought of pleasing yourself too? Or do you feel you need to please him by doing that no matter what it takes? Most girls don't like anal so consequently most girls won't do it. It's not the normal thing to do. It's sexually out of bounds as that hole has been designed and reserved for the purpose of ridding ourselves of waste. You shouldn't feel bad, but if you insist on doing it until it stops hurting, then just keep in up with lube and maybe eventually it won't hurt as much. But possibly by then you guys will have caused problems with yourself there that'll be much worst than a little hurt.

    • My pleasure is always first on his priority list until I finish at least once. its not like I'm his sex slave or anything. he just tries to do whatever I want him to so I try to fulfill his fantasies too, if I'm comfortable with them. and this is something I really want to do.

    • And you have a right to make that choice. We all make our own choices. No one can make them for us. Thanks for your comment.

  • Stop worrying about pleasing your boyfriend. Seriously. You should not feel bad about this. If pleasing your boyfriend is the most important thing to you, you're on the wrong road in life.

    Start listening to your body.

    Your anus is not intended for intercourse. That's why anal sex is painful.

  • well honestly I can c why he'd like it. Watchin an ass giggle up and down while f***ing it at the same time is amazing but you should tell him that it hurts and he will understand.

  • Buy the book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. Let us know how you made out.

  • Have him eat your ass like a starving man first...and learn to PUSH OUT. You will have a lifetime of pleasure.

  • your not taking enough time. you can't just try to put a penis in there you must finger it. its kind of like forplay before sex but in this case your loosening it up so it doesn't hurt as bad. you will feel a slight burning at first but if he does it right and takes his time it will go away. to be honest there is nothing inside a woman that is going to be pleasure full. the man has a prostate that does but woman dont. so if he doesn't wanna take his time and do it right then don't do it because your not getting anything out of it.

  • try to get used to having something in your anus. Fingering your anus is a good way to start out. Work yourself up from one finger to 2, to 3 (maybe?). Try it again but also rub yourself before and while he's trying to get in

    • This can help alot

  • really you should tell him he's with you beause he isn't gay. so there is really no reason for anal. you need to ask him wats wrong with the vag!

    • Haha I already asked him that, he said he just really wants to try it because he loves my ass and wants to feel like he has conquered it. no joke, that's what he said, haha. but honestly, I really want to be able to do it too. just to keep things interesting.

    • Very good!

    • Hahahahaahahah whaaaaaaat? lol I've never thought of anal as a way to conquer the booty no matter how phat hahaa man...well some guys are different. you betta tell dis cat he should be happy you even gots some coochie! there are literally dudes out there killing for it! no but sex. gross

    • Show All
  • very hot bath before=hand to relax your enter body and astroglide. (Oh, and patience)

  • Well what you can do is sit this guy down and ask him what's wrong with him...why he seeks the anal soo bad? It doesn't make sense why he looks for that as the first thing when he thinks about sex. You should not seek any lubes, relaxers or anything like that...its not needed! You tell him next time to rethink his decision or ask him if he likes men...because no man should seek the buttsex as a primary source

    • Oh my gosh I totally agree it is absolutely gross!!!!!!!!!!

    • Hey I believe ur the gay one. The guy may really want to try this with his girlfriend. are you gay, do you want someone to get your ass. The guy doesn't have to rethink anything. Sir you suck, very bad advice. Now you go find your boyfriend and try anal with him. Lots of lube

    • So...let me get this straight you call me gay, for reasons being the fact that I question the reason why a man would willingly seek anal as a primary souce? Well If he wanted to expierence it the first time by all means I could give a damn...but the fact that he seeks to proceed with anal sex as a substitute for vaginal sex is stupid and if you believe that's the case where anal sex is all that's needed by all means continue on lol!

    • Show All
  • well make sure ur doing it slow don't jsut take off your clothes and try lets of lube and be stimualted have him finger you analy first maybe to loosen you up

    its ok don't worry let him know how you feel if you don't wnat to anal sex is usaly sorta paifull evein with lots of lube another way to make it better is use some toys(analy) and that will sorta get you use to things being in ur but and then yeh

  • It just takes time, from what I've been told by girls (I'm not gay). Eventually it stops hurting.