Do you actually have a true phobia, or are you just really concerned about having something in there for the first time?
It's normal to be scared and worried. And it's probably not very fun to have a speculum or a stranger's hand be the first thing to be in there. But if you actually have a phobia, doesn't that mean you'll never have sex? I doubt that you will have this fear forever.
I recommend masturbating with your finger inside so that you can realize that it won't hurt you to have things in there. That's what the hole is for- it's a passageway. It's meant to have things put in it and coming out of it. That's what it's made for and it will not hurt you as long as you're gentle.
How old are you? If you're not sexually active and you're under 18, it's probably not necessary for you to have an exam just yet. It's important to get one eventually but there may not be an actual need right now. If you're under 18 you could try talking to your mom and asking her to check up on whether or not it's necessary right now. (I know your profile says 18-24, but a lot of people give a false age.)
Yes I really do have a phobia.I understand that it's totally irrational but I can't help it. I really don't think that my level of fear is normal. I don't intend on having sex because I'm deathly afraid. Plus aside from my phobia I don't have any interest in sex to be quite honest. I understand that you are trying to help me but masturbating is even worse than getting a pelvic exam! I'm over 18
You need to get help with this. You won't be able to lead a normal life if you are too afraid to ever have anything put in there. You should definitely see a doctor about this phobia. For now, it seems unreasonable to expect to have a pelvic exam. Tell your mom that you need to sort this problem out before you attempt that. A gyno could be a good person to talk to about this, but you probably shouldn't make a regular exam appointment for that.
I understand the fear. I was scared of it too. You have to remind yourself that millions and millions of girls have that done and while they might be a little uncomfortable for a while, they're totally fine after that. It's totally routine and every day tons of girls have it done. They end up fine and you will too.
Yeah I realize that, but the fear just so overwhelming that I can't even bring myself to go through with it.
A pelvic exam is rape.
"Discomfort/pain, shame/embarrassment, and/or a feeling of being violated, as a result of penetration of the sexual organs by a person in whom a woman has no sexual interest, achieved through coercion, fear, and/or intimidation."
agalltyr.wordpress.com/2010/11/28/a-pelvic-exam-is-rape/
Lots of medical related things are uncomfortable (colonoscopy, catheter, mammogram, etc). If you really have a problem with this, seek professional counseling to figure out what your problem is and get it resolved.
Yes I know that a lot of medical related things are uncomfortable but I don't have a phobia of medical related things. My phobia is specifically as I described it in my question.
Yup, go see a counselor.
Your comment only exacerbates this young woman's problems and is insensitive
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