Ashamed of taking my clothes off in front of my new BF?

[LittleBee101]

I'm a 20 year old virgin in a relationship who's in her fourth relationship. My boyfriend is kind, caring and is such a sweetheart. However, last night while making out he tried to take my shirt off and I FREAKED.(he stopped instantly when he saw my distress) and was very concerned as to why I wouldn't let him take my clothes off. My last boyfriend was the first person I stripped down for and he made me feel so ashamed of my body and insisted that I lose some weight (I'm 67kg and 165cm tall). I'm scared that every guy I get with is going to feel that way now. Is there anything i can do to help my situation. My boyfriend isn't trying to push me into anything but I don't want to keep him at an arm's length anymore. Please HELP!

[Gman1]

I'm not sure the translation between kilos and pounds... but honestly, most guys are not going to be ass***** like your last boyfriend.
May I suggest choosing gentleman for your boyfriends, particularly due to the fact that you are a virgin.
My guess is at some point you must be flirting to lose your virginity, particularly due to the fact you have expressed that you have a boyfriend and he tried to take off your clothes... The older you get the more that's going to happen.
My suggestion would be to step out of your comfort zone.
I am going to share one piece of an invaluable advice to you, and I want you really to let it sink in because this will be something you can bring into every relationship you ever have...
"Don't hold against your new guy what your old guy said or did"... That's really not fair to him, and its not fair to you either to hold yourself back from having new and potentially gainful experiences.

[LittleBee101]

He was a gentleman at first until we got down to *ahem* business then he well, decided he didn't like my body. I'm just worried that every guy i'm with is going to act like this.

[driel]

You're going to HAVE to move past it and take your shirt off... hear me out. If that becomes a roadblock for you now, it's going to be an insecurity you deal with the rest of your life when in reality it was 1 shithead guy who said some horrible things because of his own issues. Please don't let it affect you, I've had women call me ugly to my face but I just brush it off as just not being attracted to me and that's fine. If you go on the part of gag where people ask for opinions about themselves, you'll see a dozen responses varying from very positive to negative. It's just like that with everyone in real life too, some people are more attracted to one thing so your first boyfriend didn't like (in honesty he didn't even give you a chance). I'm really sorry you went through that but don't let it wreck what you have with your new boyfriend. You end up going to the point where you're comfortable and you have to hope he's ok with it.

[AvaMarina]

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this, yet? I'm sure he'd be willing to listen and discuss everything, and it's kind of a relief to get these things off your chest. I struggle with a lot of body issues as well (also related to a guy in the past, coincidentally) and I just opened up about it when I got to that point with my next boyfriend. He was very accepting and comforting. :)

I'm sure your body is beautiful, no matter what your last boyfriend said, and you don't need to let his negativity hold you back from enjoying your current relationship. Maybe you need to push yourself just a little bit, after talking it out with your boyfriend. When the first step goes well, you might be more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

It's best if you talk to him and explain your insecurities because right now I bet he's feeling terrible and you should tell him it isn't his fault that you feel this way. Just come out and say how that ex made you feel. Communication is the best thing for both of you right now, you're not ready to move to that next intimate step with him yet and until you feel good and safe in your skin and the environment he offers you, you should wait to move to that level with him.

[linkywinky]

communicate with him, not us.

[AidenBlue]

It's harder to do than say but you have to scrape that old guy off. Most guys pretty well know your shape before they pull your clothes off. Hiding your body is going to send the wrong message to the new guy.

Screw it. It's your body. Play the hand you are dealt. Smile! share with the one you care about. Confidence is very attractive I think. In fact an average girl can boost her look with confidence in herself.

Being shy can only push the guy away. If you like him and want to share then share. I bet you will find a different reaction this time.

Good luck and go for it!!

[Octavius]

Let him know because he's probably really confused and worried he thinks he offended you when he tried getting physical. Don't make him suffer for what your previous boyfriend did. Just let him know you're insecure about your body I'm sure he'll understand. Things like this can destroy relationships if you don't communicate with him about it. You're the one who said he's a sweetheart. I'm sure he'll do everything in his power to make you feel as sexy about yourself as he sees you if he realizes that you aren't super confident about your body.

[Dandeus]

tell him why you're nervous and how much it hurt you when your ex said those things. you're gonna have to bite the bullet at some point. you can psych yourself up and talk yourself into it, but in the end the only way you're going to be comfortable is if you take your clothes off and actually have real supportive experiences with your boyfriend.

[Dim121]

Well if your really afraid, ask him to wait until your married. If he is the right guy he will wait if not then he was not the right person for you.