Being caught masturbating - for the Men!

[Anonymous]

All you boys and men out there... need your opinions. My fiance of 6 years. If I don't do the job for him, or am at work...he will masturbate to porn. I'm OK with this, who doesn't do that! ... But for instance - I came home from work last night and walked in on him doing it. He just stopped, turned his lap top off and said he wasn't in the mood at all because "i caught him doing it". Is that normal? I said I would finish him but said the moment was gone.

[s3tupMayne]

It's really difficult to keep going because normally we expect something like that to be very private. We know that girls aren't totally grossed out by it and that also it can be hot in the right context, but the act is extremely mentally difficult to digest because it's such a shock to your brain (literally, we had ONE thing on our minds and when a person walks in the room there's suddenly a billion things to think about and it's a little bit scary)

You have to be almost forceful with your words and actions if you want us to feel comfortable and get into the mood. I mean gentle and understanding of course, but we need to hear really really clearly that you're not just giving us a pity-finish.

Many of us are actually really selfless when it comes to sex and if we don't think you'll enjoy it and you're just along for the ride, we probably will feel a little guilty accepting anything you give us. Sex is supposed to be mutual and it really feels wrong if it's one-sided or feels like a favor. And btw, the times we seem selfish are the times where we don't know we're doing something wrong or think the mishaps aren't entirely our fault.

If you ask him to masturbate for you and have it be an experience where he entertains you by doing so, I am very confident he will do it for you (I would do that for someone I am with for sure)

[Johner]

Oh boy. How to explain this best?

Having a girl walk in on you masturbating is like having a furry midget tickle your ballsack from behind when you're having sex. The shock and embarrasment of being caught "in the act" is enough to murder any lustful intentions he may of had.

Even if he wanks in front of you all the time or is completely comfortable during sex just the whole feeling of getting caught with your pants down triggers a fear and guilt that stretches back to our childhoods. When our sisters or mothers walked in on us.

[LEWnB]

I caught my boyfriend doing it before he went to work (he gets up at like 5 in the morning) he looked quite embarrassed. But it only took him probably 2 minutes to get over it and he came into the bedroom to finish. When I asked him why he stopped when I walked in he said it was embarrassing to be caught and he didn't want to wake me up, but he was horny lol. Just let him know it's alright to masturbate and he doesn't have to be embarrassed if you walk into the room. I mean, hell, guys like it when we masturbate in front of them, I don't see why it shouldn't be the other way around? I can see why he wasn't in the mood, but he shouldn't be embarrassed, most people do it! Most guys would probably get really embarrassed, there's just a difference between those that don't let it affect them and those that "lose the mood".

[Ephram]

LOL! Sorry but that is just SO funny! xD I would just be SO embarrassed that you caught me doing it, that I don't think I would even be able to get it up. It's completely normal. You just surprised him, that's all. Don't get too worked up about it. =p It's probably just something he is very reserved about, and doesn't want you to get involved with.

[Marfan]

Interesting. I imagine that he might have been a little embarrassed he was caught, and the embarassement was the reason he lost the mood. Or maybe he was worried that the porn he was watching was not something you should see.

I used to be that way too. Now, if my wife catches me, she knows that she just has to kneel in front of me and open wide. It is a little hard to quick switch from the porn mentality to the real life mentality, so she just gives me a nice canvass to shoot my load.

[wade4u]

I might be embarrassed at first, but if you said you would finish me I would be all for it.

[joshnumber21]

Personally, once in awhile I like to "get 'er done" without the pressure of lasting a long time, and maybe I only have a few minutes to get it done. I wish women wouldn't take it personally.

[tigerguy]

ouch, you should talk to him about this situation, what kind of porn does he watch, try and spice things up with you too, maybe things have gone boring for him in the bedroom, try something new such as spanking, anal, tie each other up, you take charge, let him take charge.

[Anonymous]

hmmmthis is interesting, I look forward to seeing what men say..