Boyfriend always leaves right after sex.

me and my boyfriend love each other and we are happy. we have good sex and I get that guys get tired after sex and want to sleep. but after we have sex I want to talk and cuddle. we never seem to do that anymore. but 5 minutes after we have sex he is like "okay I should go to bed soon" hinting that I should leave his house. or when he's at my house "okay better get going soon". I don't think he's using me or anything its just so annoying and really is starting to make me feel like there's not much more to me but a vagina.
Updates:
+1 y
ah its not like that. we have a perfectly normal relationship. dinners with family, we go out for dinner all the time, he makes an effort with my family, takes me to his parties with friends etc. its just this is annoying me.
+1 y
its seriously ruining my sex drive
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • He's not using you. I think you've gotten yourself in a stale situation. You've gotten comfortable. There's a reason why they say brains are the biggest attribute to sex. Why? Because your brain and thus body is stimulated by change and variation, switching it up. I call it neurobics. And if you two are doing the same old thing every time and you always are available, then more likely than not, both of you are going to get bored. Little do you realize that you are bored yourself (or at least from the sounds of it).

    And don't mind me asking, but why are you consulting GAG when you should be talking to him? Not complaining or whining, but simply asking in the most plain and non-reactive manner. Or even telling him you love it when he cuddles with you or that you miss it and that it's important to you. Chances are he will remember how nice it is, too (after all, it stimulates oxytocins). You have the right to do that. Stop this before you start convincing yourself you are a piece of meat (which you aren't and I'm guessing he didn't start dating you with those intentions).

    • wow thanks alot! that really changed my mindset

    • No worries :)

    • Good one

    • Show All
  • Hey, I understand if it's a situation where you live with your parents or something or if your apartment/dorm contract says you can't have him over.

    There's a little hormone called oxytocin- better known as the 'cuddle hormone'- that may be having an effect on this. It's secreted after sex, but is negated by higher levels of testosterone, which means men don't feel the need to cuddle as badly as women do.

    It might be worth it to tell him it bothers you and that many girls actually do physically need to cuddle after sex.

  • sweetie he def sounds like he's using you.

    like you don't think it seems extremely weird that he literally kicks you out or leaves immediately after? he seems like he's keeping you around because of the "good sex" you two are having. its extremely rude and I wouldn't let something like that go down.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Maybe he snores, hits or talks while sleeping, I know I do all those, so I rather not stay, it may risk my chance of staying with her, plus some men actually believe that by being a bit cold the girl would like us more, specially if she is hot.

    Then of course if you are not that attractive and are not very passionate there is always the possibility that he may not be in love and he just likes you.

  • You can't sleep in a house where you can both sleep?

    • i'm not allowed sleepovers in my house

    • and when we have a sleepover at his house its "okay time for us to go to bed"

    • "okay time for us to go to bed"? No sex or ?

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 3
  • Damn that's cold. He is just using you. He kicks you out right after y'all f***. Doesn't sound like love to me.

  • Why can't you sleep in his place? And why won't he sleep in yours?

    Hmmm... it seems a little iffy to me. Are you sure you are not dating one of my guy friends lol.

  • Red flag.

  • Maybe compromise? I would be fine with the cuddling...definitely would not want to to talk though..o.O

    • Yup <3 <3

  • Stop doing it at late at night?

  • Stop having sex then. It's about both of you and not just him. Use a dildo if you have urges.

  • He is not old enough to appreciate the other aspects of the physical parts of your relationship.

  • hes selfish, I wouldn't take it, speak up and tell him how it makes you feel. You say your his girlfriend but he's treating you like the other woman, very suspicious

  • how rude and inconsiderate, sounds like he's using you for your vagina...he doesn't even leave a 20 on the nightstand?