Boyfriend can't get erection for HJ or BJ, only for sex?!

My boyfriend says its hard for him to get boners. He says he wants to have sex with me; but I'm not ready yet. He's gotten to 3rd with me, and I want to reciprocate, but he says he's "all or nothing". I'm very confused by this. Does he offer sex just because he knows I'll say I'm not ready, or is it possible for guys to only get hard for sex and not other stuff..?
Updates:
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Another possibility I was thinking of for why he only would want sex is because he has an STD or something on his penis that he doesn't want me to see..? And in having sex I wouldn't notice. What do you think, is this a possibility?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Not ready for sex? Then no means no and if he cares for you, he'll quit asking.

    If this is a cover for not being able to get hard, I suggest you test this to see if a real problem.

    Some guys can get hard just to imagine sex with a gal acroos the room.

    Others need to see/feel the naked goods.

    Will your guy NOT get hard if naked you suck on his soft penis for awhile? If true, is he drunk, had too many orgasms, over 70, what?!?!? Try different positions & let us know ... we need more clues!

    • The first time I tried with him he said he couldn't get a boner because he was high. The second time I tried I think he was high again, but he was pulling out condoms.. Wouldn't it be embarrassing for me to suck his soft d***?

    • BJ & HJ give you the opportunity to see what you're getting into/onto, esp. if you think he untrustworthy enough to have covert STDs. Some of the very best BJs begin with the strip, sexy talk what's going to happen to me, soft penis in, work it up to its workout, blow, swallow, never let it out until it's soft again, same as before OOHLALA

    • I'm curious, do you know if it's possible to have sex with partially erect penis?

    • Show All
  • There are a few possible answers, but I think that the most likely one is that he is trying to pressure you into having intercourse.

    His all-or-nothing approach is probably just a negotiation tactic. What he says about erections don't make sense: does he need to be inside a vagina in order to get hard? If yes, how would he get in if he is not hard to begin with? If no, then how about behaving as if he is going to get inside and then doing a BJ instead?

Most Helpful Girls

  • If he has had sex with someone else in the past, always a good idea to get him tested for STDs, to ease your mind and his. But, maybe he's insecure about the possibility of a small penis or a slightly bent one, or embarrassed about being uncircumcised, why won't he let you see it? I don't know any guy that wouldn't love a BJ. IMO.

  • No that is not true. Men get boners from looking at a womans body or sexy women on TV or in a magazine. I think when he says all or nothing he means he wants sex or no foreplay at all. Sounds like he is trying to make you give it up.

    • Lol but I don't get it, we've spent hours on foreplay. he loves giving me oral, but whenever I try reaching into his pants he angles away.

    • Then that is not good. I think he may be watching p*rn. I don't know you should just ask

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Well, every guy can get hard from a GOOD blowjob. You should read Jack's BLowjob Lessons for some really great tips.

  • Ask him if he watches a lot of p*rn. It is possible to desensitize his mental part of sex if he's addicted to online images that because him to be numb when with a real woman. Google "Your Brain On Porn" videos on YouTube. If that isn't it, he's probably just nervous and needs more time to be relaxed.