Boyfriend says it's gross when I swallow him after a BJ?

His reaction turns me off. I obviously don't do it for my own benefit, I'm just trying to do things right and be a good girlfriend. Should I just stop doing it and give up the hope that he'll loosen up in the sex department? He's still not willing to perform oral sex on me so I'm pretty discouraged right now :(
Updates:
+1 y
He says he's doesn't feel comfortable enough yet for oral. He licks me a little sometimes to make me happy but usually he doesn't. He says I've always been quicker than him sex-wise. It's true but it'll be 10 months now and I feel like I'm making more efforts than him to make our sex life progress. He'll try out new positions sometimes but it's like he's not even trying to make little steps anymore. I was hoping that he'd loosen up if I did more to him but it's not really happening.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • well, sexual compatibility is a pretty big deal for us guys. I don't know how big of a deal it is for girls though. If you can live the rest of your life suppressing certain aspects of your sexual appetite, then simply be prepared to do so. Otherwise, you're going to have to leave him or plan on cheating a lot.

    There are plenty of men who would be delighted if you swallow their sperm - I prefer a girl gargles it a little first, personally. It is very rare that a girl comes across a guy who is less kinky than themselves, so I couldn't really tell you how it normally works out. All I can say is do some soul-searching as to whether or not you can realistically settle for a conservative sex-life. I couldn't, personally, but then I'm not a girl.

    • To your update: there is a chance he is gay. Not saying he definitely is, but just don't let it shock you if he announces it one day. And before you ask, yes gay guys do get into relationships with women before they are willing to admit (to themselves) that they are gay, and yes they do have some semblance of a sex life with them - some even have children.

    • To me it's more about physical closeness and intimacy than my personal sexual appetite. I think I do as much I can for him so of course it hurts my feelings that he does less, as if my private parts repulsed him. I'm no cheater but I'm eager and impatient to get as much in return as what I give him. That builds up some frustration and I don't know how to handle that. If I talked to him about it, I'm guessing that he'll tell me he's just not ready, as he told me last time.

    • that's the weird part. Guys are ready for the kinkiest sex they are capable of, from the age of 8 - they don't tend to get kinkier with time. This is why I think he may be gay - in that case, yes, your private parts repulse him (not just yours, but all women's). That's the consensus I hear from gay men, anyway... I'm sure there are exceptions. But generally speaking, if he wasn't ready for something upon meeting you, then he isn't going to be ready - ever.

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  • Wow I think the girl answers are too harsh here lol. He's still somewhat new to sex so he's probably not sure what to do when going down on a girl so he's nervous to try to really going at it. Next time he kisses you down there moan and grab his head and beg for more, tell him every time something feels extra good so he knows what to do then and in the future. This guy is like a blank slate you can train specially for you because he has no previous experience and doesn't think he knows what is right because some other girl liked it lol.

    • Thank you for being understanding. I was getting discouraged with some answers here. I'm thinking of discussing that with him next time so to know if he's not ready because he's clueless about what to do or because he's grossed out by it. That's what hurts me the most, to assume that he says he's not ready because I gross him out.

    • I doubt you literally gross him out. There has been a few times I smelled girls and they didn't smell the best but that is the same with guys and our sweaty balls lol. Never did a girl smell bad all the time, only once in awhile because we're all human. If he says he doesn't like it then eventually work your way up to asking him to lick you in the shower or maybe right after he or you washes your vagina. If he knows how much you like it and want it that should make him want to do it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • my boyfriend doesn't like for me to swallow either because he knows it doesn't taste great and he feels like its somewhat degrading. He loves giving me oral though. Sex shouldn't be about giving in order to get something in return, its not a trading system, but you both should want to satisfy the other person. If he doesn't have that desire to pleasure you then I would think he doesn't feel that strongly for you. Its selfish and if he's so uncomfortable with you sexually then you two had sex too soon, he wasn't ready and you should consider waiting until your more comfortable and know each other better. Just keep talking to him about it and be very honest and open with him

  • He sounds like a greedy lover... some people are like that... I wouldn't go down on him anymore... if he isn't going to return the favor... I have been with guys like it and it isn't fair for him to be the only one benefiting from sex. I don't know why that is... he needs to learn that good sex takes both partners to contribute equally. If you don't want to leave him then I would invest in a good rabbit style vibrator so at least you can cum... How is he in bed does he offer to do the sex? or are you always the one working?

    • Yes he does most of the job during intercourse. A month ago we had an argument and I told him that I wanted my own "pleasure session". He did and it was the greatest thing ever (really!). I told him I wanted some special care today because we hadn't had sex since a while (long vacation). We had sex twice - I blew him, gave him a hj and we had intercourse. Of course he was horny as hell but I wish he had focussed on me more like that other night. I didn't get my "fix" like he had his today.

    • be more demanding sometimes it takes a bit of force to get what you want out of men. I would always have to tell my ex what to do. otherwise he wouldn't do it. tell him that he needs to give you oral before you blow him. if he isn't sure how to send him to ask men.com they have a good selections of articles on how to give oral to a woman...

  • maybe he's not attracted to you enough or maybe he isn't in love with you. When your in love you want to do those kind of things, when your not it doesn't matter to you. Some guys think going down o girls is nasty so keep it clean and when he is down there let him know how much you love it. Then again don't force him into it if he simply doesn't like it. There has to be attraction, love and desire... if its not there yet its OK, don't force it, just wait until its there

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 6
  • RUN! lol

  • Run! Lol.

    No seriously, run.

    • He's not selfish - he's a prude. And you might say he's 'too selfish to get over being a prude for you' This is the stage of the relationship where its hot and he's most likely to be experimental. People don't often get wilder 5 years in unless they always kind of wanted to but held back. He's not holding back. He's not into it. Run.

    • "He's not selfish - he's a prude. And you might say he's 'too selfish to get over being a prude for you'" You're absolutely right and I know that. It's still experimental - we do try out new things still - but it's hard to consider really discussing it when it's likely not to get resolved in a near future. It's scary to deal with that when you're gambling about how a relationship might turn out in months and years - just for sex.

  • Weird he is probably a kid.

  • If he doesn't like it don't do it.. and if he doesn't want to go on you, he's just selfish, as CatsMeow9, RUN :)

  • Tell him that since the come is in your mouth its yours now.

  • Stop giving him head until he satisfy's you orally. He's being selfish.

    • I don't know if it's selfishness or unreadiness, as he says. I feel rejected and undesired that he won't give me proper oral. I wish I'd get my fair share as he does but I try to be comprehensive despite my disappointment. I'm afraid that if I stop blowing him, our sex life will just regress with no chance of me getting oral. Do you really think he'll be more likely to make the effort if I stop, really?

  • What a bastard!