Bribing him with anal sex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend wants the anal sex so bad, but I always told him I wanted to be married or at least engaged first. We always talk about our future together and he tells me every day that I am going to be his forever, but after 3 years together, no ring. :( He asked me for anal a little while back, and I told him sort of jokingly, "You buy me that Tiffany's ring I showed you, and you can do anything you want with me," I giggled, and he said "Oh my god, hot." And that was it. I know I need to stop bringing up the ring thing because I am just going to pressure him and it's going to drive him nuts. But what is a subtle way of doing it, without actually saying I want the ring before we do it?

[saphirasilverwings]

Marrying someone is something you're supposed to do when you want to marry them, not when you want to have anal sex with them. I know YOU want to marry HIM, but if he hasn't asked you of his own accord (especially when it's obvious that you would say yes) my guess is that he's not ready for that yet.

Do you really want to spend your life knowing that he proposed to you because of a bribe? You would be getting married for all the wrong reasons. Also, what if after you were married anal sex hurts too much and doesn't work out? That would be unfair to him.

If getting married soon is important to you, you should talk to him about it. But leave out the bribery and manipulation.

People should get married when they want to get married and have anal sex when they want to have anal sex. Don't have anal sex because you want to get married, and don't get married because you want to have anal sex. That's not right.

[toulouse]

Well said :)

[saphirasilverwings]

:) thanks

[enlightenment]

if he brings it up again...tell him seriously this time that you are, well, serious. Tell him that you are ready to get married when he is, and that you are ready to do anal too, but you are only going to do it with one man in your life. Let him connect the dots

[Anonymous]

What are you going to bribe him with after he gets you the ring?

Are you going to complain when he asks for anal every night and uses the excuse "well I got you the ring"?

The point I'm trying to work is bribing is no way to build a marriage or anything else. Why are you in such a hurry to have him propose? The more you pressure him the more he will resent you for it later in life. Relax and enjoy the journey.

[toulouse]

Excellent point.. I think its a very irresponsible way to go about it, perhaps dangerous what if he decides there are other things he wants ..& anyways you can not bribe love..either he WANTS to commit or not if you get him to do it with a bribe , thee will always be that element of obligation or trickery or disingenuine-ness & how will you feel, if every time yo look at that ring, you think of your butt ?

[dtaylor31906]

well I suggest you have a long talk about marriage express your ideas of why you want to get married

and let him express his ideas of why you to aren't engaged yet

he will not possibly have a good answer you guys are already pratically married you been together three years

then give him a few months so he can save up for a really good ring for you

[ArizonaRX]

Certainly he can get anal sex A LOT cheaper somewhere else. I think you just told your boyfriend to shop around. lol

[l-hedoniste]

I normally don't condone sex as a tool of manipulation; sex is good, manipulation is bad, and we should separate good things from bad things.

BUT, it has been three years of your life, three years of loyalty and commitment. Whatever final form this relationship will take, it needs to gel soon. Bringing it up pressures him, but not bringing it up pressures you.