Can mind blowing sex make you fall for someone?

[Anonymous]

[ak666]

For me, absolutely. The two times I fell madly for a girl was through the process of having this type of mind-blowing sex. That said, "mind-blowing" didn't come from the girl having a good technique or anything like that.

In fact, the first girl who made me feel that way was horrible in terms of oral sex, but I didn't mind. Our minds and bodies felt so connected in those moments and sex felt amazing and natural in ways with her that I never imagined was possible. She even changed my body type preferences to include hers and practically overnight.

With the second girl who made me feel that way, I realized how rare this quality was that I ended up marrying her. Of course we had a great connection outside the bedroom, but what really planted the seed and made me fall madly for her was what we shared in the bedroom.

[ak666]

One thing about me that might be kind of unusual, at least to people outside of Japan, is that I've had my share of both close male and female friends. With my female friends, we've been together through thick and thin and have a closeness and intimacy which is not unlike a romantic partner. What we lacked, however, was actual romance and sexuality. It was simply platonic. That's what ultimately came to distinguish a "friend" from a "lover" for me. I discovered that I really do fall in love through the process of sleeping with a girl when we have that magic in that context. Every other part of the dating process seems "friendly" in comparison and not so different from what I can share with my closest female friends. The mind-blowing sex is what elevates her in my mind to the ultimate lover, and it's at that point that I begin to really fantasize about her on a whole new level and start intensely desiring and missing her company in ways that go far beyond sex.

[Asker]

Very interesting.

[ak666]

In my case, what I consider "mind-blowing" sex might make some people laugh. For example, with that first girl who made me fall madly for her in the process, we actually bumped heads the first time we slept together. Yet even when we did that, we both laughed and teased and it felt so incredibly natural and warm. "Warm" is what I want to use to describe it. With my previous girlfriends, I thought sex was kind of a "cold" activity. I mean it was "hot" and steamy and sexy, but in terms of emotional connection, it felt "cold", just bodies grinding and having a sweaty good time. With those two women, it felt "warm", so warm like we were made for each other. And it was totally divorced from technique: sometimes we got rough, it wasn't gentle stereotypical "love-making" always and I had that with other girls. It was just that sense of connection that was so different, and somehow I also found them ever more beautiful as a result, like being with a goddess.

[Asker]

But to get warm, you need to be emotional available I believe

[ak666]

I'm not sure I was available in this sense, or maybe I was always available. With that first girlfriend we actually slept together on the third date, and I wasn't looking for something serious. I started to get a jaded view about love and romance at the time. She was my fifth girlfriend and I thought love was overrated at that point. Still after we slept together for the first time, there was a magic there. It was different in subtle ways that I have a difficulty articulating. But it felt right and it felt amazing. She apparently felt the same kind of magic since she told me that night that I changed her mind about sex. What I didn't tell her was that she also changed my mind about it, and not just about sex but also love. I started to see love and sexuality as much more blurry instead of two distinct and separate ideas.

[ak666]

Same thing with my wife, the second girlfriend who made me feel this way. She surprised me. With that first girl who made me feel that way (fifth girlfriend), I wanted her so badly. We got engaged to be married but things went to hell after we started living together. One of the problems is that I was young and didn't have the maturity level to deal with such intense feelings. I wanted her more than anything else in the world but also came to resent that she had that kind of power over me. So we ended up breaking it off and I was devastated, and the few times I tried to break into the dating game again, it was back to emotionless kind of "cold" sex. Perhaps at that time I was genuinely unavailable emotionally. Then I got a jaded and cynical view of love once more, thinking I'd never feel that way again. It was only years later that I met a girl who would surprise me once more in this way, and again completely unexpected, and ended up marrying her.

[Asker]

And it was all via sex..

[ak666]

Initially yes. I call it the "seed" of love in my case since it's not like I wanted to marry them overnight. But that amazing experience we had in the bedroom planted something in me that started to grow and grow the more I saw the girl until I was practically like a teenager daydreaming about the girl and wanting her more than anything else. I sound really cheesy when I talk about it, but that kind of sexual experience together became the key to unlocking this really cheesy side of me. :-D

[ak666]

Some people call this "lust" or "infatuation" but in my case it encompassed much deeper dreams of being together and also caring about her well-being. And I've found, to some extent, that if we have this amazing chemistry and connection in the bedroom, it does echo outside the bedroom to some degree. It makes us appreciate being passionate, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc, along with wanting to share our life experiences together. In my case it's like I can't get enough of her. I haven't found the reverse case to be true. I have not found that having a great connection outside the bedroom can echo into it. I was quite disappointed a few times in my life believing this to be the case, and after this emotionless sex I started to lose interest in the girl instead of gaining it most disappointingly. It seems everyone has their own way of falling in love, of building a dream of being with someone else forever. In my case I found my way is through "mind-blowing sex".

[Kuraj]

Get scienced.
Oxytocin is a hormone that is released at times of physical intimacy, especially sex.
It is the hormone responsible for bonding and it strengthens your ability to trust people, find them more attractive etc.
So yes, fucking people will make you fall for them IF you are a woman, your brain will become more susceptible to trusting them and maybe overlooking their flaws.
IF you are a man however, it seems sexual activity does not release oxytocin but dopamine instead. (which is the pleasure hormone)
So instead of bonding with people men just end up wanting more sex in general.

The mechanism of this is so that women are driven to seek protection of their mates while men are driven to seek more mates to have sex with and reproduce.

[kaylaS91]

nope. Sex, even if it's 'mind-blowing' wouldn't be enough in itself to MAKE me fall for someone. While it is a great way to sort of intensify feelings that were already there, it's not going to magically create any.

[TomeofOpenAnswers]

Literally anything can be cause to fall for someone... i dont usually like sex id prefer not to have sex. so a day where my girlfriend says id rather just lay down is a day in paradise for me.

[truthbeknown]

Many have been lost to that!

[kyoung07]

yup sure can

[dudeinohio]

It can certainly help.