Condom=going soft?

I was having sex with this guy without a condom, and then as he was getting closer to cumming he put one on. a little bit in he started getting soft.like almost completely flaccid.it perked up again, though, after we took the condom off. What's this all about? I know condoms desensitize but is it really that much? Do you think he wasn't attracted to me (we've had sex a few times before but he's also gone soft) or what? If it was just the condom should I make him wear it the whole time (i'm on birth control but I just want to be extra safe) or try to do that? Personally I really like it better without a condom, it just feels more raw. Oh and I know he's clean for STDs. What do I do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • What's this all about? I know condoms desensitize but is it really that much?

    Condom do desensitise, and if your guys cricumsized they you making a less sensitive penis even less sensitive. Also there spremacide in the condom, that kinda burns the penis. They are uncomfortable to wear. That's why after sex, the first guys do is take the condom off.

    Do you think he wasn't attracted to me (we've had sex a few times before but he's also gone soft) or what?

    No. To get and maintain an erection guys don't need a girl to be thin, attractive or even clean, we just need her to be in the same room.

    If it was just the condom should I make him wear it the whole time (i'm on birth control but I just want to be extra safe) or try to do that?

    What do they teach you at school about sex and STDs, oh shit you're from the US so f*** all. Always wear a condom. To have sex without a condom you need to trust you partner, ie you need to trust that they don't lie about not having any STDs and trust that they are not running around f***ing other people. Normally in a relationship you get that trust after one to two years. Most sensible people live with their partner before they start having unprotected sex. So my advice is at the age of 17, yes use condom the whole time.

    What do I do?

    1-Get the right brand of condom. IMHO trojon are shit, its like putting a car innertube over your dick. Durex are better, normally the extra thin, or extra sensitive and then the ribbed (but only because the ribbed are easyer to put on.) the thin condom are more likely to break, so you Boyfriend can't put one on and then hammer away at you, Sex needs to be more controled.

    2-Your Boyfriend needs to train his penis to use condoms. Best way is for him to have what we call in the UK a "posh wank". Wear a condom when he masturbates.

  • You just have him put a condom on before you start having sex every time and take it off carefully when you're completely done. But before that, both of you need to do other sexual things so that you're both totally turned on - kissing, making out, being loving and maybe even some oral if you guys are into that. That's just a good habit to get into until you get married. Forget the raw stuff and think instead of safe stuff, both from pregnancy and other types of STD's. Once a couple starts having sex they should be grown up and being safe every time is being and acting grown up.

    • I agree with him! ;)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Just an extra point on the pill (I know it's not your questions BUT), while it can be 97-99% effective - that's when it's taken PERFECTLY. We're talking at the exact same time every single day. You deviate by a FEW hours either way and you can reduce the efficicy to 90%. Which to me is not satisfactory. I don't want a 1 in 10 chance I'm going to get pregnant every time I have sex. Plus other factors can be involved if you have diarrhea that day for instance or you take your pill at night and went out drinking and vomitted. If you are taking St John's Wort, antibiotics. etc. Many medications (over-the-counter: ibuprofen, vitamins, suppliments) they just don't know what they do to the absorption of birth control because no studies have been done.

  • A guy once told me, using a condom is like wearing wet clothes in the rain, when it feels so much better to just be naked. Guys like the feeling of a wet vagina, then they know that what their doing is enjoyable for you.

    If your on the pill and your both clean of STDs and not sleeping around, then sex without a condom is OK.

    • You never know if a guy is sleeping around. I was with an ex for 2 years and we were so "in love" but I found out he cheated long after we were broken up. THis is def not best answer material in my opinion, worst answer maybe. Is a little extra pleasure for the guy really worth getting and STD? In the moment it may not seem like it, but if something goes wrong it might. just depends if your willing to take the risk of being unclean

  • Yeah some guys can’t finish with a condom on. My ex never could. He would end up going limp every time before he could cum. We got frustrated after a few attempts and I just started letting him go without it and pull out at the end. He never had a problem when we went bare.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This happens to my boyfriend too. I don't have any information beyond that, but I just want you to know that you're not alone!

  • Already said, but it needs repeating:

    wearing a condom only for the climax is useless, as if you tried wearing a safety belt only during a car crash.

    • Seconded. Not only does it interrupt the flow, but there are 3 important things to consider: 1. Climax isn't always predictable, and sometimes you don't get enough warning. 2. STDs would be passed on long before you put it on. 3. Men leak pre-cum before the main ejaculation. This fluid contains sperm. You can get pregnant without ejaculation because of this. You run huge health and pregnancy risks using a condom like this.

  • Try putting the condom on some time before you start.

  • why did you put a condom on him? if its to protect against pregnancy, he should wear it from the start! you CAN get pregnant from pre-cum you know! please be safe

    another option would be to use FOAM and the pill (which you use), cheap, a little akward, but no need for a condom, but he won't want to go down on you

  • check to make sure the condom is not a desensitizer

  • Insist on condoms:

    1/4 of American teens , 1/2 of sexually active teens have some STI : link

    And once is enough to get life (since some STD's can not be cured.) or worse, death. Just cheating once and...:-(

  • There are many stories like that on the www.

    The problem is his mind, not you, nor the condom or his penis. He probably had a bad experience and convinced himself that the condom caused it because they are said to be down to earth, ugly, bad, too thick hampering his sex life, frustrating etc, etc.

    Try funny condoms, tell him how fantastic "tickler condoms" feel for you (beware, they often are of lesser quality thus buy the best brands !) You even might find condoms with some tickling product on the inner side. (peppermint tooth paste? ;) )

    Include condoms in your love play ( I'm told that some girls know how to put them on a guy with their mouth)

    Try old fashioned propaganda slogans: link

    Success!

  • If your having condomles sex your playing a risky game. May as well just start using the pull out method. Sooner or later one of you will will push it or both of you will keep going cuz your caught up in the moment. Are you aposed to getting him to just cum inside of you?