Do guys feel bad when they make a woman bleed during sex?

[Anonymous]

Do men care about the women they have sex with, I mean you are inside someone's body do you feel connected to them at all? I am just trying to find out why or how lot of men can separate sex and caring or love or any emotion? Why is this considered to be normal for men to be inside another human being and not really give a damn about them? To what extent is this? Can you hurt a woman during sex and not care? I'm just trying to understand how and why you think men are able to do this. If women do the same they are considered damaged or troubled emotionally to be able to disconnect like that. So why is it considered more typical for men? Is it because men aren't considered as emotional? What are your thoughts about this phenomenon?

[kheserthorpe]

Do guys feel bad when they make a woman bleed during sex:

- I'd guess most do, a few don't care, and others have learned that it sometimes happens even with sex she enjoyed, and worry more about her experience then a drop of blood.

Do men care about the women they have sex with:

- some men only have sex with women they care about, others will have sex with many women. Those who choose not to pursue sex with women they don't care about its primarily for moral reasons, rather then a lack of any sexual interest.

Do you feel connected to them at all

- sometimes, sort of, but that can take so many different forms. Even when there's no affection or 'caring' between partners, sex is still an emotional experience. Its easier to jerk off then find a hook up. If quality of feeling was what mattered, guys would be obsessed with the best lubricants and techniques for stimulation. They're not. Most are driven to have sex with women they find desirable. That's not about how it FEELS, its about how it emotionally makes them feel. I would say sex tends to make men feel validated in a very large way. They can get that validation from a woman they are not connected with. When they are connected to a woman her validation is even more important and so sex with her is even more important.

Why or how can men separate ... why is this considered normal... I'd say its an observation about male impulses. Women can also have sex without caring, but even more of them refuse to do so.

Can I personally hurt a woman during sex and not care? When I was younger, definitely not. Now? It depends on her feelings about rough sex. If she's indifferent or excited by it, yes. If not, but she really wanted to do something to please me, possibly, though rarely.

If women do the same they are considered damaged... I think there's been, for most of human history, more fear of female promiscuity then male promiscuity. The reason for that is simply - when a married male is promiscuous, he has children his wife doesn't know about. When a married woman is promiscuous, the husband's own presumed children are not, in fact, his.

There is also a difference in the nature of male vs. female promiscuity. Males give up quality to have casual sex with multiple women. When they marry, they can expect to marry the -most- desirable woman who might sleep with them. They are giving up variety. Women, by contrast, can always 'cheat up. Perhaps women who sleep around are considered damaged because people are less confident they will trade -quality- for stability. I'm only speculating here.

[TwiztedTD]

I care about a woman I have sex with.

I won't have sex with a woman until I feel an emotional connection with her. I feel that sex and emotion go hand in hand together.

[Anonymous]

this is an excellent question ! 5stars.

out of all the boys I've had sex with, my current boyfriend is the only one who cared about me during sex. he is so gentle I wouldn't even call it thrusting. he is always watching for signs of distress on my face, he stops and asks, "does it hurt? are you ok?" with genuine concern. he offers to stop if it's too painful. he's so sweet it makes me want to cry.

the irony is that this is the gentlest sex I've ever had. others were completely preoccupied with their own pleasure even when they knew I was in pain. at the time I just accepted it but now I feel it was selfish of them.

[Opinion Owner]

to address the part about bleeding, I can recall a time when I bled after sex with my then boyfriend and his reaction to see blood on his white sheets was pride and satisfaction. he had a smug smile on his face. we both knew it had nothing to do with my period (which ended 2 weeks prior) and that he wasn't taking my virginity. it was just simply an injury.

[Bethany94]

What? If my boyfriend hurt me during sex he would feel terrible. None of my male friends would be like "oh, I brutalized you during sex, well that's fine."

[Asker]

Well, apparently the guys on here don't really see it as a problem, I would like to think that guys would feel the same as your boyfriend, but I just don't know, are they all just playing us or something?

[Bethany94]

Some people think that's it's normal for a girl to bleed during her first time. It is, but only because a lot of people would rather rush into things and "pop" a girl's cherry rather than stretch out her hymen so her first time doesn't hurt (sex should NEVER hurt). I don't even know what you could do to a girl who isn't a virgin to make her bleed.

[Asker]

My friends have bleed from sex on multiple occasions when the guys doens't feel like foreplay and has a large penis. Or just like to have rough sex and not care if it's tearing her. Most guys are like that, that I have known. I mean one guys just convincing my friend that she kept getting her period even though it was bright red and only after they had sex. It seems like the most important thing is sexual gratification and the women are an afterthought.

[Bethany94]

That sounds just ridiculous. My boyfriend has a big penis and we like rough sex but it has never gotten to that point. He always makes sure I'm turned on enough before he enters me, and if he can't wait he goes really slow. These guys all sound like a**holes. Don't ever stay with a guy like that.

[Asker]

I won't but I have yet to meet a guy that was considerate and caring and empathetic that wasn't gay.

[Bethany94]

You really need to find better guys :| The only two guys I know like this are a**holes. One is basically a pedophile (he preys on high school girls to get them to do sexual things for him because he can't get a girl his age) and the other is a convicted rapist who I'm pretty sure is in prison right now. Even the guys I worked with who came from f***ed up backgrounds (like, poverty, their fathers beat them and sh*t) would never physically hurt a girl like that.

[Asker]

Well just look at what the other guys even said, it depends... I mean they even admit that there are TONS of guys who just don't care and will hurt a girl and not even think twice. That scares me, it seems like a sociopath would do that. I just don't want to have someone like that inside of me

[Anonymous]

guy can if they are only looking for their pleasure. but if you are in a relaitonship or FWB then they will care.

[MrOracle]

Men and women evolved differently, and to have different roles in reproduction. Men have to be able to impregnate multiple women in a relatively short amount of time (throughout history, men were often killed off in huge numbers in war or during hunting, leaving a lot of women without partners), and so they evolved to be able to do so. For this reason, men evolved so they don't need to be emotionally connected to the woman in order to have (and enjoy) sex with her.

Women, because they are the ones who get pregnant, and were very vulnerable during pregnancy and for a while afterward, and because they provided the majority of the care of the babies, needed to have a man around to provide and defend her, and so women evolved to bond with a man when having sex with him. These are scientific facts that are observable in lots and lots of other mammals, not just humans.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that men NEVER have feelings, because they absolutely can and do. When a guy has romantic feelings for a girl, he'll be emotionally connected to her, and he'll have that emotional connection during sex with her, just like she has with him. It's just that the same guy could turn around and bang some other random girl and have no feelings for her, and just enjoys the sex, because he has no romantic feelings towards her. For men, romantic feelings aren't required to have or enjoy sex, which is different from how most women work.

I realize this seems strange, or even wrong, to you, but understand that guys often struggle to understand why girls are so insistent on relationships and feelings, and don't just want to have some random fun sex at times. We both assume the other gender thinks like our gender does, and that's just not how it is, and those assumptions get us both in trouble.

There's no point in getting mad or upset about these differences, becuase you can't change them, anymore than guys can make girls want to have NSA sex all the time. You just need to understand how things really are, and act accordingly. That means, don't have sex ouside of a relationship, and this won't really be an issue for you.

[Asker]

That was a novel. It didn't answer my question either.

[MrOracle]

Most guys don't intentionally hurt their girl during sex. Some do hurt the girl, though, intentionally or not (and some girls like it!). Most guys don't WANT their girl to be in pain during sex, though, and DO care if she is. Some guys are selfish jerks. My Girlfriend very occasionally bleeds a tiny bit after sex. It doesn't hurt her, and she isn't concerned about it. If she was, we would do what we could to address the issue, but again, she's fine with what we do (I've asked).

[sammysamson84]

guys are just as emotional as girls are ... just in a different way sometimes

hurting your partner and really not caring about that ... can't imagine how that could happen

another thing is, if you have a little accident like he has been too rough or went too deep or something and asks her if everything is allright ... if you say it's OK, then we might assume it's really OK ... so, don't just say it's OK, if it's not ... that also goes for everyday things that have nothing to do with sex ...

it's a totally different thing if your question is only about "just sex" / fwb

guy's can have sex with someone without being emotionally attached ... but that's nothing girl's can't do ... and I'd say that's far away from "not giving a damn about them" ... you feel physically attracted to someone, maybe not to his/her personality... if you have sex then, it's not like you don't care if you hurt them or not... it's just not the person you want to bind yourself to ...

[Bvroon]

I am very attentive to my wife and her needs and I would never want to hurt her in any way, however there have been times we have had sex towards the end of her cycle, (not trying to be gross) and the blood that results is just residual and not from any sort of injury or harm caused by me. I always like to make sure my wife enjoys sex and that I can always fulfill her needs, it just so happens that when she wants sex it happens to be towards either the beginning or ending of her cycle, which is when her hormone levels are higher, and as it turns out when she is most aroused. I also feel very connected with my wife (not like that either), and there are many times I feel even closer to her when we are having sex, I also enjoy after sex cuddling. As for why do some men make the emotional break between sex and their feelings, honestly I suspect it's because they actually do feel something, they just deny it or have conditioned themselves to make in a non-emotional process to protect themselves due to insecurity, immaturity or both.

[kairon156]

I was inlove with my past girlfriends and I was passonate with them every time I made love. While having sex with my first girlfriend I could see her face and how much she was hurting so I didn't go in as far as I wanted to tell she gotten use to me.

I do care about hurting a girl I'm with even if I wasn't in love with a girl I would care about them enough to make sure they felt as much pleasure as I do.

there are still guys who see women as sex objects and their main goal is to have sex with them and not care as much about relationship like few guys like me do.

[kairon156]

side note. why do girls say "all men are the same" when they only done it with a hand full or even just one guy?

[COCOCHANEL]

some have had more than a handful

[kairon156]

well they should try going for different types of guys than they have been. I do understand what you mean though, people can have bad experiences over and over thinking it's normal.

[jacquesvol]

Of COURSE, I'd care (I never did hurt a woman)

I'm wondering what he did to you.

[chalobole]

I think you have been hurt by a man or so, and feel sorry for that. It is not like that with all men I can assure you. many of us are very caring and would never even think of hurting a fly. You may confide in me and tell me what happened and maybe I can help?

[larry69]

The only blood I want to see is menstrual blood...no I am not into pain

[tiredofwaiting]

Of course they would unless he is a jerk

[Asker]

Look at the answers though...I want to think they would care but I don't know.

[tiredofwaiting]

Only a**holes wouldn't

[hannibal214]

coming in a p**** feels better than jerking off to 99% of guys. that's why we can separately sex from love

[Asker]

What? lol

[Anonymous]

they should! unless she's a virgin whichi would be normal.

[Anonymous]

I like to pop the cherry of a virgin and smear the blood all over my face and body

[Anonymous]

yes, they do

[Anonymous]

"Do men care about the women they have sex with,"

Sometimes. Not always. Depends on the guy.

'do you feel connected to them at all?'

Same answer.

"why or how lot of men can separate sex and caring or love or any emotion?"

It's our nature. It's just something we can do without thinking about. I don't grieve over the cow when I'm eating a burger either.

" Can you hurt a woman during sex and not care?"

Yeah I suppose that's possible. But we're more likely to hurt them after the sex is done.

" Is it because men aren't considered as emotional?"

The idea that men are not emotional is a myth created by women who don't understand how men feel. We feel, we just don't feel in the same way as women do. Women are often slaves to their emotions. Men rarely are. We are able to compartmentalise the emotion (most times). We know how we feel about something, and then we can put that aside if need be.

[Asker]

So hurting a woman during sex is akin to eating a burger? Women can put their feelings aside, however, I don't understand how a man can be inside of another human being, not an animal and not care about them at all, isn't that an unhealthy disconnect?

[Opinion Owner]

It might be unhealthy for you - but it's hardly unhealthy for the guy. Just because we *can* have sex without getting emotionally wrought over it, doesn't mean we always do. And how many times have you seen girls who get all wrapped up in a mess because they had sex with a guy, and they wish they could just get past him?

[Asker]

I'm not talking about the entire relationship I am talking about in the moment inside of her, how can guys not give a sh*t? I think that there is a lot of stress put on gender, but we are all humans and humans shoould be able to express or at least have the capability for emotions. I don't believe that men are a**hole robots or something. I just don't understand how a human being can act like this. You wouldn't care if you hurt a girl during sex, would you even stop? Isn't it a slippery slope?

[Opinion Owner]

I've been as clear as I can. It is obvious you don't get it. But I can't make it any clearer.

[Asker]

The myth that men aren't emotional is perpetuated by men, not women. Men in different cultures express their emotions just fine, it used to be a sign of passion when a man would cry, it meant he really believed in what he was saying. Now it just seems like there is this disconnect. It seems like a slippery sloe to rape if you have no compassion for a person you are inside of. If you don't care about hurting the woman what makes you care if you raped her? On a moral level, isn't it disgusting

[Opinion Owner]

Oh you're one of those crazies who sees rapists everywhere. I shouldn't have wasted my time on you.

[Asker]

Wow, so that's all you got from that? You are the one that is saying that men lack empathy and can disconnect when literally inside a woman..I just connect the dots and you freak out? Guess you can't handle a lot of things, good thing you aren't a woman you would HAVE to think or at least address things like rape. All I can say is lucky you right. Enjoy yourself :)

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah you connected the dots... like a f***ing conspiracy theorist who starts her argument with "As we all know, 2 + 2 = 5" There's just no point in talking to girls like you where everything around you comes down to rape and you start from a premise that's so wrong no one knows how to start correcting you.

[Asker]

Like I said, enjoy yourself. Must be nice living like you do.