Do guys find it insulting if you ask to use a condom?

me and this guy I'm friends with, but clearly more than that, were so close to having sex, but I didn't want to do it without a condom and I don't think he was planning on using one. what would a guy think if I said can we use a condom?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • From a lad's perspective...

    If it were a stranger, 1 nighter who was asking me to wear a condom I'd immediately think 'She's doubting my 'cleanliness', thinks she could catch something from me' which would be understandable, I'm a one night stand. It's highly probable I've had many sexual partners since I've no objections to having one night sex with her and I'd also be cautious of her. (although I'd only wear one if I got bad feelings about her, you can sometimes tell who the 'carriers' are and who aren't simply by thier appearance, attitude towards sex, how easily they were persuaded to have sex with you) Infections would be the immediate thought in a lad's mind, infections being the only 'concequence' they'd have 'no control over' since a lad who has no respect, only wants sex, didn't care about the girl wouldn't have to worry about pregnancy. LIVING with pregnancy will never be on a lad's mind as it's not us who'll become pregnant. Infections are the biggest concern of a sleaze who sleeps around, thier only concern depending on thier character

    If it were a friend who said it then I think the words 'You've nothing to worry about' would be MY reflex reaction. I want to make it clear I'm not infected as afterall she's my friend, her opinion of me matters to me. I don't want her thinking I'm diseased. Also I really wouldn't want to be wearing a condom because it doesn't feel the same (not that I'd tell her this) and I can always pull out if pregnancy is the issue. If she said pregnancy was the issue and she was paranoid, just wanted to be safe then I'd respect her wishes, she's my friend and it's her who'd become pregnant not i. I'd have no objection to wearing one if pregnancy was the issue, I'd just argue and make it clear I was clean beforehand to clear my own mind, hear her reason. I wouldn't just accept and then have sex with the thought of 'she thinks she'll catch something off you playing on my mind. I'd have to clear that up first just so it's off our consciences

    If he's your mate he'll wear one. He may try and persuade you to think otherwise as a lot of lads would :) but if you make your reasons clear, lay down the conditions he'll wear it. Sex with a condom's better than no sex

    • You really can't tell who a "carrier" is- at least, not reliably. Just because someone loves to have sex doesn't mean they don't value their safety enough to use protection. Besides, even a virgin can have certain STDs and STIs.

    • "I can always pull out if pregnancy is the issue." One of the least reliable methods to avoid pregnancy!

    • P.S. The pull out method is an extremely ineffective means of preventing pregnancy. You need to get your facts straight and rethink this answer. It sounds like you are attempting to be smart about sex, but truly you are taking these issues much too lightly. You don't know who has an STD- yourself included- until test results are on the table. And the pull out method has one of the highest failure rates out there.

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  • IMHO, using a condom would be elementary.

    Why?

    -Teen birth rates up in 26 states: link

    -Quarter of U.S. teen girls have a sex-related disease: link

    -Half of teen girls have STIs by 2 years of first sex: link

    Btw, a woman is usually hornier the days she's ovulating, thus when a girl is horny , the 'chances' to get her pregnant might be greater.

    USE CONDOMS!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Any guy I've been with has never had a problem when I've told them or asked them, to wear a condom

    Essentially I think, unless you're in some sort of committed relationship - condoms are a necessity. A girl can be on the pill, a guy can be as honest as you like, and your best friend - but the risk is always going to be there.

    Any guy with any serious aversions to wearing a condom in the situation you described I'd be wary of. If he didn't want to wear one, I wouldn't have sex with him - end of.

    • Agreed!

    • lol I said the same thing and you argued for a day.

  • Personally if a guy made a fuss over using a condom or even expressed surprise that I wanted him to, I would rethink having sex with him. This is because I would assume that with that kind of attitude about condoms, there is a a greater chance that he has had unprotected sex in the past and possibly picked up an STD. I'm not going to entrust my body to someone who doesn't value health and safety as much as I do.

    • Intelligent reaction! +5 !

    • Thank you! :)

    • It is a good answer. You're using your brain, playing it safe. I like risks, I always have, it's who I am. I know that my mannerism towards things isn't always the best way but it's how I am and I can't really change it

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  • If he doesn't want to wear one wear a female one; then if he still gets mad; I would basically say f*** off and go about my business. (:

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I wouldn't need to be told.

    This is BASIC common sense.

    Any girl that didn't insist on a condom would be dumped so fast, she wouldn't know what hit her.

  • Any Guy that turns down sex because he is asked to wear a condom is crazy, it feels great either way. There is a certain connection in the mind to being naked with a girl that is awesome. Definitely ask him to wear a condom if you feel the need, I think it is better safe than sorry in all aspects.

  • If it was a casual encounter, condom use is appropriate.

    In a relationship, no thanks.

    Yet another benefit of relationships over casual encounters.

    • What if she isn't on birth control?

    • Tough. I'd rather go without than bag it. 20 years of condom free sex, no scares of any kind.

    • You do realize that the pill isn't an option for everyone, right?

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  • trust me I would be wanting to wear one I don't want to get the girl pregnant

  • use one.