Sexual Health
+1 y

Do I have to touch my boyfriend's penis whenever we make out ?

It's cool to give him a bj once in a while .. but it gets stressful doing it every time we make out! I mean I really enjoy kissing, hugging and him playing with my boobs ( which is pleasurable for both of us ) .. and that's it .. sometimes I get turned off when I feel that ughhh here I go again , touching his down there.. We are going on a trip in a couple of days and we will be sharing same room and we will most probably make out .. so can I ask him to keep the limit ? or will he feel annoyed ? I know you guys wouldn't know what he's thinking .. but a mass opinion would be really helpful :) thanks .. Or maybe I can just play with it with my hands only .. but not with my mouth?
Updates:
+1 y
We just came back from the trip .. and when we got alone in the room we started making out and he was really into it .. . but I couldn't take it , so I just told him to stop .. he was okay with it , he told me he was actually happy that we are able to stop ourselves even when we are in the mood! ...we continued to hug and kiss and that was it .. what do you guys think about his response ?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A couple points:

    - how often he is hoping for you to get him off depends on his sex drive. He's a young guy. Daily would be normal. More then once a day would not be unusual. Less they 'most days' would be low.

    - if you're going on a trip and sharing a room, he's probably looking forward to it, from a 'being intimate' standpoint. He may have high hopes. He's DEFINITELY hoping to get off as much as normal, and maybe more. He'd be very disappointed if nothing happened.

    - bj vs hj ... depends on the guy. Some guys are really not into hj, so really want bj all the time if its not sex. Some guys enjoy both and would be fine with a mix depending on the day. It depends on him, what he likes, and potentially if you're using lube for the hj, or if he's uncircumcised. Its something you should talk about with him.

    - He will get turned on making out. So I might be happy 'getting off' once per day. But if we make out heavily 5 hours later, I'm going to want to get off again. Basically, making out and NOT getting off is disappointing. If you want to just kiss more often then you get him off, I'd make sure he knows when its 'just kissing'. And long term, if you're not getting him off to a level he's happy with, relationship will be in trouble. This isn't something you 'have to do for him'. Its like saying 'how often does he have to talk to you?' If you aren't happy doing it as much as he likes/needs to feel good about the relationship, you two are simply not a good match.

  • This is the problem with relationships! They should be about growing closer and more intimate with the other person.. it is NOT about a quid pro quo thing. If you don't want to do somehting then don't do it. And if he doesn't then he shouldnt. Stop making things so physical. And I should clarify I love the physical aspect of a relationship and can certainly appreciate it, I was in a long term relationship where my (now) ex barely ever would blow me (maybe like 2-3 times after dating for almost 2 years) so I understand his frustration too.. but the point is that relationships are not supposed to complicate things like this. If you don't want to dont.

Most Helpful Girls

  • 'We' werent in the 'mood' were we He was. I think his response was egocentric, tho its good he wasn't grouchy about stopping.

    But you may want to point out sometime, to him, that you guys are not always going to have the same feelings, & that's 'ok'.

    The problem isn't disagreeing, its not being supportive of each others personal experience. You're not going to be able to harmonize, if you're not free to have your own experiences.

    btw, what exactly could you not take. for now, you might suggest, YOU be the one to increase the activities..until he's a bit more accustomed to what it is YOU are actually comfortable with. His doing too much, & you having to stop him, seems pretty stressful. he'd have to become more aware, of what it is you're actually OK with, if you were controlling things.

    This doesn't sound really like you're getting to know each other Instead of physical intimate, bringing you closer, it sounds like its a veil covering up what's actually going on. s tho it doesn't give any spasce, to just chill get acquainted/ closer.

    Instead, it sounds like he's trying to get stuff he wants& you're trying to make sure he doesn't get carried away.

    How long have you been together.. Work on getting to know what each other is comfortable with. not just making sure he's not mad, or your not forced.

    • We are together from 2 years .. we're not in the "get to know each other" phase at all.. not even close! .. I always get sure he doesn't get carried away it is true.. but I don't think he is trying to get sutff he wants.. I mean, he wouldn;t ve been cool about stopping if all he wanted was sex , right ?

    • i didn't mean to say he's being manipulative,--just dense.

      I.E., You woldnt have wanted to stop him , if you were in the 'same' mood he was in. And if he was in the same 'mood', you were in, he'd have stopped on his own.

      if uve been together 2 years, surely you can discuss what you are comfortable, & uncomfortable with.

      i don't think there is any malice here, but I think it is not intimate, its stressful..

      i maintain, if you were in control of advances, he'd get a chance to see your comfort level.

  • Use lube. hj. he's not going down on you every day. sucking on breasts is not the same as sucking on a vagina. sucking on his d*** is not the same or equal to him sucking on your breasts. if he's getting off, he should be fine. you should not have to be uncomfortable, in order for him to be comfortable, so you should discuss it.

    if long term, him being comfortable, means you being uncomfortable,m you should break up. it isn't healthy to feel lie your feelings don't count. & that's what a bj, when its stressful for you, but amazing for him, is.. people who do not understand this, either don't do mic themselves, or love doing everything.. its not relatable. because you are not comfortable& no one elses feelings on that, matter.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Basically if he was with you for the sex then he wouldn't have stuck around for as long as he has so far. That being said, why are you hesitant in the first place? Have you not had sex before, or just not with him?

  • @ the update: what couldn't you take?! making out?! or was he trying to get you to do more? either way good for you for saying something and it seems that his response was as good as could be expected. I think it is good that you have made this step. Don't proceed until you are comfortable.

    • Yes he was really in the mood and started taking out his clothes and it would turn into sex anytime .. I am not used to this you know .. I was never sexual with a guy in a room, alone .. on a bed.. that's something big for me , so I didn't feel well :) thanks for the response anyway

  • Well, if you don't particularly care about pleasing him, then do whatever you want.

  • You'll have to check the local laws. It is required in some states and not in others.

  • you are dating the wrong guy-period

    • lol and why is that ?

    • he makes you feel uncomfortable. Also I bet he does stuff for you and expects things in return.

    • I assume you haven't even read what I wrote.. I have no idea from where did you get that!

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