Does being a virgin turn men off or push them away?

[Woman2005]

I asked this question before but it was was removed because it was in the wrong category. I am crazy about this man who is experienced. (divorced) I love him so much and hope that we can become more than friends. I'm just wondering is me being a virgin a turn off and can it push him away? We share the same religious moral values. Most of my friends are also virgins and we want to know what others think. What you say won't make me change my standards/values but I'm still curious to know how men really feel about virgins.

[titoloco]

I'd be somewhat interested in the reasons that brought her (or any girl) to stay a virgin for so long. The answer clearly will give me a good look at what type of person she is; for instance she might be a virgin, but has ton of sex toys (meaning I could get creative with her), or she could be novel reader that craves Mental fantasies, or she could be a once a week bean flicker (too strict and quite boring) etc... She could be many things, really it's all about the way in which the girl in question takes control of her own pleasure that will tell me whether she is an interesting candidate or simply one of many (not so sure options).

Main reason why for me it's (Experienced girls) > (Virgins).

[Woman2005]

I have very high morals as outlined in the bible. I am not perfect, but I do my best to maintain a certain set of moral standards. No, I have never used sex toys. I couldn't even tell you what they look like...and no I don't want to know so nobody needs to send a link to pics.lol I want to explore all of these things with the person I marry and share that experience with him. I am not a boring person. I'm just waiting patiently for the right man.

[titoloco]

Quote: I am not a boring person. I'm just waiting patiently for the right man. You wouldn't be the first to have said those words, you know. I just wonder how long those words will protect you before you go 'Carrie White' and then start killing men because they would rather have sex before marriage than the opposite.

[normalice]

it usually turns on younger men, or at least 'younger-minded' men. As men get older they tend to appreciate it when a woman knows what she is doing: and I don't mean just sexually. It's more important that a woman know what she is doing in the events leading up to sex. When meeting a girl for the first time a virgin isn't going to be able to 'read the signals', or if she can she won't know how to react. An experienced girl will.

But, if you're already past all of that then it isn't a big deal.

[lovedcursed]

i think it depends to a high degree on the looks in this case , I mean if you a good looking -attractive - kinda hot girl BUT still virgin ,then it is a hell of a turn-on , most guys I knew loved the idea that I am an attractive girl that still was not touched yet , and it more of helped them to fall for me , so if this case is similar for you then no don't worry ,he will love it (Y)

the problem be for less attractive girls , that they unfortunately give the hint that they are virgins cause they had to be , or as if no one ever wanted them ,which is a turn-off for some guys for sure .

[Woman2005]

Most people I know consider me to be pretty. Guys are always chasing after me. A couple of MEN wanted to marry me, but I felt I was too young. This man is the one who has had enough patience to take a step back and let me grow and mature. When he first met me he told me I would be perfection when I am 28. He's definitely attracted to me. he cares about me. But I am aware that that is very different then loving someone and wanting to spend your life with them.

[lovedcursed]

okay that is great (y) , since you are considered pretty by many people then it is definitely a turn-on for the first guy to have you . don't worry about it at all . and about your second question , yes being attracted and caring about you are maybe different from loving someone , BUT no love story ever started without those two elements , so they are definitely great signs for starting a relationship . maybe he is the one who is scared you don't want him romantically due to your age gap !?

[Woman2005]

Well I wrote him a beautiful letter expressing my love for him. You can see what its about if you cook at my confession question. Now he has no reason to be afraid. The funny part is he hasn't told me his exact age. I am just guessing but I know his sibling's ages and he is the youngest so in my mind he is at least 40ish but he can't be older then 45. Thank you for your thoughts. You are encouraging. Sometimes I let my own insecurities get in my way.

[lovedcursed]

ohh really :D knowing that you wrote him a letter confessing your feeling is a great thing , you are a brave person , and brave persons are always successful in their relationships , I myself have been hesitating over something like this , so now no it should be his turn , he should set his mind up and ask you out . be patient , cause now you are not to blame at all , you did your part (y) , I would like to take your opinion about something like your problem , do you mind if I messaged you ?

[Woman2005]

sure you can send a message, but I may not respond right away. Wow you think I was brave? I am just hoping I wasn't foolish because it has been almost three weeks and I haven't heard anything, but I know he got the letter for sure. However, I don't know if he read it, but every piece of me believes he did. I know his character and even if he doesn't want to be with me I feel he will be respectful enough of our four year friendship to respond. The waiting game is so much harder then I thought.

[lovedcursed]

is there an ''seen or delivered '' option there ?! maybe he haven't seen it , when I tell you my problem you will know why , and yes I really feel you are brave , I mean at least if you guys did not get together you will know that you did your best and didn't miss the chance , infact he did . So no guilty here on you . And yes he really got to reply if he read it , even with refusal ,but at least he should inform you of his opinion . I will message you today and reply when you get a chance

[Woman2005]

No seen or delivered option. I left one in his door and sent one in the mail. When I went back the next day the one I had stuffed in the door was clearly gone and the lights were off but his television was on. No television was on when I put it in there the night before but all of the lights were on in his house. I sprayed it with my perfume, sealed it with red lipstick and put it from the nickname he calls me so in my mind there is no way he would not have read it. Men are weird. Who knows!lol

[Stacyzee]

It depends on what he is looking for.

You DID say he is fresh out of a long-term relationship.

Most likely the last thing he'd be looking for is another relationship, most likely

sex is what he would want.

I am not saying this is the case but it could very well be.

The only way I can see you being a virgin a turn off, is if the guy is solely looking

for sex.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Agree with this :)

[Woman2005]

I said he was experienced/ divorced. However, that was over 12 years ago. We share the same moral standards (no sex before marriage) He wouldn't and has never tried to do anything to me that would jeopardize my Christian conscience.

[Stacyzee]

I know what you said. But you did not state his marriage was 12 years ago. If he respects you and shares the same values has you. Then your virginity will not be a turn off.

[abundantlyrich]

You can be a virgin but just don't lie there on bed and do nothing. Know what you're doing too.

[Proxity]

No, virgins are not a turn-off. In fact, I believe they are more sought after. I'm sure the first humans on earth were virgins and that they had a fantastic first time. Also, being a virgin in this day of age doesn't mean you won't be a great lover.

[yopyopyop]

I really wouldn't care at all.

Let me ask you a question too: why do you think your virginity could be a problem ?

[Woman2005]

Where I come from sometimes when you are a virgin men don't feel worthy to be with you. They feel you should have someone else as innocent as you to share that moment with. I really love him despite all of the obstacles he may see because he is in his mid 40's and was divorced about 10years ago. None of it bothers me, but it takes two to make it work.

[yopyopyop]

I would be more concerned by the age difference, since he'd be your first one. Make sure he's really serious about you and doesn't see you as a rebound of any sort. So, take your time. If he's genuinely interested in you, your virginity won't be a problem.

[madhatters4]

virgins don't turn me off

[Dionysos]

A horny virgin is a wonderful partner. A timid one, not so much. Wait until the horny side trumps the timid side. You'll be happier and the man you bestow your v card on will be happier too. Showing a girl what her body can do is amazing. It's more so if she really enjoys it.

[UlsterScot]

Most men will want sexual validation in their relationship. How that is resolved is a delicate dance but dance you must or risk FWB or other compilations. If he views you as recreation, he may be reluctant to be your first or defer sexuality until you are ready. Even if he views you as a potential Mrs., he will want some indication of your sexuality. Hint: Virginity is abstinence from penetrative intercourse.

[AverageJoe4U]

om no ,I would take it as a challenge and would pursue her... nothing like being the gentle first for her

[Anonymous]

it attracts them they all want to be the first

[Anonymous]

not at all, I'm 25, but I still feel like a virgin because I've only done it once

[Anonymous]

Great save till marriage!

[Anonymous]

They are afraid of the clingyness.

[Anonymous]

I like virgins because they likely don't have any std, or are a whore, but the inexperience is a turnoff for me because it takes forever for them to get going. I'm mean it's great that they can't compare you to anyone else and don't know what they're doing so you can teach them what you like. But they again DON'T know what they are doing and they second guess themselves or feel they are doing it wrong and hesitate all the time.