Doesn't casual sex leave you feeling empty inside?

[YouthfulPallor]

I'm having a really hard time understanding why anyone would want to have/be a f***buddy. It's called lovemaking, isn't it? So what's left over if you're not making love? I haven't had a lot of sex, but for me, the best part was afterward--the cuddling, the closeness, the security. Wouldn't casual sex make you feel used, belittled, and undervalued? Like giving the most secret part of yourself was just a meaningless game?

[MrOracle]

The truth is that most women can't really handle being FWB; their biology gets in the way. Women are genetically evolved to bond to the person they are having sex with, even if they start with no feelings for that person. plus many women can't even function sexually unless they have feelings and a connection to their partner. There are definitely women who are the exception and can have FWB, and some women can create rules and situations to help prevent them from becoming too attached (usually it's sex ONLY, with zero romantic stuff and almost no "friend stuff"), but most women can really only have satisfying sex in a relationship.

It's important to understand that men don't work that way. Men evolved to be able to have sex and enjoy it without having to have any feelings or connections for the girl; basically sex for sex's sake. That doesn't mean we don't ALSO like to have sex in a relationship, and that sex is often better for a number of reasons, but even then, we can STILL have sex outside the relationship and enjoy it. Further, we are driven to desire variation in women, which helped to ensure a larger gene pool, which in turn assured that more of our children would survive and be protected from genetic diseases.

You might want to read this:

link

[Ulfhednar]

Yes, it does. It makes me feel like, is this it? Is this all I deserve? To use someone to get my rocks off while they do the same with me, and eat dinner alone? It makes me feel sad, and ashamed, and gross.

I don't have casual sex any more. I feel like, if I settle for it, if I treat myself like trash, I will never find something better than trash.

I used to think "bad girls" were exciting, and "nice girls" were boring. But, now, I feel like, the "bad girl" I have ex with on Friday night will be gone on Monday, and my life will be exactly the same, and that is boring as fuck. But, if I can build a relationship with a nice girl, it could change my life forever. That's exciting.

If I fuck around with trash, and treat myself like trash, I'll never deserve better. So, I don't screw around, even though I could.

[PoeticNinja]

Nope. Not one bit.

When I had FWB, it was a f*** and leave. Which was better than cuddling and talking... Trying to get all close.. If you want sex where sex invites closeness, that's fine..

But when the rules are set down just to f*** with no strings... Be able to handle it.

If you can do that, it works out. It's not meaningless when two people are getting what they want out of it.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I have had a number of FBs . Its just sex. It's about getting sweaty and physical pleasure.

I may snuggle afterward from time to time. That's if I like him with his clothes on. Otherwise its about don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[05Jueey]

Love-making and having sex are two separate things. As long as I am shown respect I don't feel empty afterward at all. I love having sex

[Belgie]

Speaking as a guy, no.

Casual sex leaves me feeling tired, sweaty, relaxed, great, glowing, relieved and spiritually energised.

"the best part was afterward--the cuddling, the closeness, the security."

Yeah but as a guy, none of that means anything to me.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

I think its only for girls who put a higher value on sex. That's why guys are usually the ones who are knowns for sleeping around, and lots of one night stands. That's why we can have sex with no strings attached, and leave the morning after.

Mind you however, that we're not all like that. I like the intimacy that comes with it as well.

[uhaveatextmessage]

If two people are "just looking for sex" and start becoming FWB, that's fine butttt no one should enter an FWB hoping to become a relationship. That's not how it SHOULD work. It wasn't meant to be that way and many WOMEN and men abuse that

[Blobb]

No, why would I feel empty inside? I don't view sex as this huge mountain of a thing and the most secret part of myself is certainly not my cock; I like to think I'm deeper than that haha.

[shacodraco]

sure does ;)

[normalice]

if by 'empty' you mean 'didn't there used to be sperm in your testicles?' then yes. I don't miss it a bit. I like to think the girls I am with also feel a bit empty inside, since my penis is no longer there.

[normalice]

also, as a gamer, I take offense to your suggestion that there is a such thing as a meaningless game.

[NerdInDenial]

There's no love in f***ing. You may f*** someone you love, but there is no such thing as making love. Hearts do not fly when a guy is thrusting you. It doesn't leave me empty because it's business, or a routine like exercising. It aids in my personal well being.

[Giggletr0n]

Nope, the opposite in fact

[Anonymous]

I think you are a rarity now unfortunately. Most women are like PoeticNinja down there. How f***ed am I?