FWB and Birth Control Pill?

[Anonymous]

Question for the girls: would you go on the Pill if you were to start a friend with benefits? I am new to the FWB thing, and I do think I'm able to manage it emotionally, but I'm not sure I'm able to handle the physical side of it -- spending money on the pill, putting my body through hormones (that has caused me weight gain and migraines in the past), etc. I don't see him having to do ANYTHING to get some, whereas I feel like I'm making the sacrifices here. We're both clean from STDs, and don't like using condoms. We used the pull-out method a couple times (yes, stupid), so I am not going to try that again. I just feel like adding permanence (the pill) into a non-permanent situation seems hypocritical. Essentially either of us could end it if we had a girlfriend or b/f. The last time I was on the pill was a couple years ago... the last time I was sexually active with my ex-boyfriend. So YES, it has been a while! And my FWB is a good friend, so I feel very comfortable. But there's no commitment, hence it feels like a temporary thing.

[vmw2008]

Ok, well you basically just need to weight your options. Personally, I wouldn't waste the money and risk the hormones on the pill with a guy who is not your boyfriend. He's temporary. And starting the pill for a short amount of time only to stop again is hard on your body. Plus you'll be dishing out all the cash. If I were you, I'd go the condom route. You both may prefer to have sex without them, but I think the weight you'll keep off and the money you save will be well worth it when you realize this FWB thing doesn't last very long.

[Asker]

I actually started on the pill 2 days ago, but I'm already having doubts. I don't think 2 days on and then off, will be so bad on my body (extra hormones for 2 days can be adjusted). But I've been reading the side effects of the pill, and getting a bit freaked out.

[vmw2008]

First of all stay away from Yaz. My sorority sisters have gotten blood clots from it. But its entirely up to you. You may decide that staying on the pill is convenient for when you do have a boyfriend. If that's not in your future though I ask you doctor and go off of it. Too expensive for a cheap lay.

[Asker]

I'm taking Yasmin (which I hear is like Yaz). In any case, I've been hearing of side effects like that, in addition to mood swings. It's not even the money, it's more about the roller coaster ride I have to put my body through.

[mcbaby]

Just to add..yas, Yasmin, and uh..ocella are known to cause serious problems. I know there are yaz commercials talking about how good it is but there are also those compensation commercials if you or a loved one have gotten injured or seriously I'll from taking any of these three bcps. The money btw wouldn't be a problem if you went to the free clinic! I go to the one at my college. Although it's mostly generic brands, they have the same hormones and are made the same as those expensive ones.

[iwillansweryoutruly]

Do the pill, girl. Can you imagine what shitstorm would happen if you found out you were prego? Just imagine telling him, deciding if you are keeping it or putting up for adoption (or, not something I'm into, but maybe abortion) and all the psychological consequences that would go into each of those decisions. I mean, just get the pill and avoid all that. What's a few extra lbs? And migraines- try a different type of pill or IUD or something.

[mcbaby]

I know it seems like he isn't putting in any work to be responsible like suggesting to use condoms because to me, THAT is all a guy can do to be responsible. As where if you got onto the pill you are being smart for yourself AND him. It's hard to explain. And with the whole friends with benefits thing..it's still sex no matter who you are sleeping with. So be smart and safe. You owe it to yourself no matter what

[Asker]

I guess it's more complicated than just a pill and sex to me. I seem to be confusing lust with love and ... anyway that's just another thing I don't want to get into.

[mcbaby]

Fwb isn't the best of situations. Even if it starts off great, things get messy. And sometimes things get better or they get worse. I'm dealing with sorta the same thing now. I have to keep my emotional thoughts and feelings about him in check. I don't wanna catch feelings or overthink things! Sigh..being a girl is bleh sometimes

[Asker]

Lol well yah, I feel the same way. sometimes I wish I could detach myself from the emotional and just "enjoy the moment", like guys do! unfortunately I'm not wired that way. sadly if I can't have him, I am willing to settle for a friends with benefits instead.

[Anonymous]

unless you want to start using condoms, then you need to go on birth control (or both if you really want)

if you don't, this whole FWB thing could turn into a little bundle of joy that you can't quite just walk away from.

[Zxcvbnm1]

Girl!!! Use another method of birth control. Cause sooner or later you’ll get pregnant! Don’t be like me. I came off the patch the same day he came in me cause I kept having migraines and was drunk and took it off like an idiot. Now I don't know if I’m pregnant or not! Just go to Planned parenthood. See if u could just get an IUD or get the pills there. U could sometimes get pills on credit and pay later.

[adorkabletmtm]

If you want to be FWB with someone you both have to do equal work. As with any other relationship. So, if you do decide to go on the pill, you both can pay 50/50.

[whatyouwant39]

friends with benefits usually are temporary sex

[Nice222]

Maybe try a IUD?