
The first thing to change was our living arrangements. Our super cool loft was replaced by a two bedroom family friendly apartment with very little character. Next to go was our two door car in exchange for a family vehicle that was more car seat friendly. We hardly went to our favorite restaurants because I either felt too sick or had wicked heartburn. I missed meetings at work to attend frequent obstetrician appointments. My stylish petite business clothes were replaced by large maternity clothes and my feet were often too swollen to wear the high heels that I loved.
Then one cold night I finally went into labor. According to everything we had read we should be parents sometime in the next twelve hours. Wrong again. I was in labor for 40 hours! We had planned a natural birth but the pain was so excruciating I threw up constantly. I finally relented and got an epidural which consisted of a long thick needle being inserted between the vertebrae of my spine. The anesthesiologist placed it wrong the first time, so I had to go through the procedure twice. After three hours of pushing and an episiotomy our little bundle was born.
So after a short hospital stay, we went home to resume our life. The baby NEVER slept. He wanted to eat all the time and refused to take a bottle which meant I was constantly nursing. I ended up leaving my job because we didn't have any family around and didn't want to trust our child to strangers. The novelty of a baby soon wore off with our single friends and we found we had less and less in common with them. Money became tighter as we struggled to provide everything our baby needed on one income. We soon realized that the baby was setting the schedule and we were trying our best to fit into it.
Imagine the challenges a young girls getting pregnant must face. While other girls are shopping for prom dresses and shoes you are shopping for pacifiers and a stroller. While they figure out what parties to fit in their schedule you try to figure out how to fit a baby into yours. Challenges of school and pregnancy can be so tough that many girls end up quitting.
The pregnancy can be extremely hard on a young body that may still be developing. In fact birth defects, low birth weight and premature birth are more common in young mom's; which make you wonder if this is nature's way of telling them they are too young for sex to begin with. Many girls hide their pregnancy from friends and family and as a result many don't receive the prenatal care that they should. Although approximately a million teenage girls a year get pregnant, there is still a huge social stigma attached. Even the best teenage mom is viewed as incompetent, which has a huge effect on the poor girls self esteem.
My baby's daddy will help! A whopping sixty percent of teenage mom's end up as single mothers. And even if your guy has the best of intentions, can he really emotionally support you? And what about financially? The average cost of raising a child is now an astonishing $200,000 and that doesn't even include college! One of the most significant long term problems young parent's face is not completing their education. This can greatly limit their job options. Welfare or a poorly paid job can cause huge financial pressure and emotional stress. In addition to the pressures of raising a child imagine adding in the stress of poor housing, inadequate health care or even not being able to afford basic necessities.
Having a kid will definitely change your life. But don't expect a baby to help you find love or trap a guy into marrying you. A baby is a huge lifelong commitment. If you wait for the right time in your life to have a baby it can be amazingly fulfilling. The more life experience you earn before you take this big step, the more you can pass on to your child and the better parent you will become.
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