Girlfriend is being cheap, won't split the cost of condoms even though she's on the pill?

Okay, this may sound a little strange but my girlfriend flipped out and won't talk to me now over a sexual issue, but I really don't think I should apologize. I am always nice to her but she refuses to get that I don't make a lot of money. Quick background story is that she doesn't like kids at all, so even though we have both been tested and she is on birth control, she wants me to use condoms too! I hate them and don't really think it's necessary and on top of that I have like no spare cash. She also wants to have sex more often then I will initiate, so I asked her the other night if she could split the price of condoms with me and she completely flipped out. Acting like she's doing me a favor and I should be glad to be getting sex from her. Does she have a right to be mad for asking me to split the cost? I am broke as it is and I don't think they're necessary.
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Edit for the comments - We are both very tight on money! I am sorry about this! I do give her $35/month for birth control for those of you calling me a cheapskate :( She also suggested sometimes doing anal sex, but I am 100% not interested in that and she took that as me not being "into her enough"
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Most Helpful Girls

  • birth control is pretty expensive, especially the type that works well with your body. Mine used to cost $70 a month, the other that also kind of worked was $45.

    [Most women would never do this] I'm currently taking a pill that only costs $15 a month... I've had my period for 14 days, I get unusual mood swings, cramps; when I'm on my two week break from my period, I still spot. Obviously, not many women would subject themselves to that sort of agony. I do it because I can't afford the type that doesn't cause discomfort, but I have to take because for medical reasons.

    Anyways, the average recommended pill costs $45-100 a month. That's expensive, more expensive than a full box of condoms. To be honest, I'm so cautious that unless we have condoms and bc, I would rather not have sex. It might seem crazy and unnecessary to you... but keep in mind that biologically, you're not risking much.

    If you really can't afford it, EXPLAIN that to her. Don't go on an emotion tirade about how they aren't necessary, or how much you hate them, or how she's wrong to want both-- be forward and be kind. Tell her calmly you just can't afford the amount you're using now, that means you either need to have less sex or she has to pitch in.

    • @update: if you're helping her with bc, there has to be another option... I would talk to her about it without accusations. If you guys can't afford condoms and she is too scared to have sex without them, it might be best to have sex less often? idk. that's up for you two to decide.

  • She provides the pill (which can be quite expensive), so it's not unfair for you to pay for the condoms. However, I suspect the real reason she's upset is the fact that by bringing up the price of condoms as a response to her frequent initiation of sex, you made her feel rejected and undesired. If you really want to ask her to chip in for condoms, despite the fact that she pays for the pill, you should brig it up at a neutral time and focus on your financial situation, NOT her sex drive. For now, I think it would be right to apologize for your insensitivity.

    Even though you don't feel condoms are necessary, more protection is always better than less, and it takes two to successfully avoid pregnancy. If not getting pregnant is important to her, you need to accept her desire to take precautions if you want to have sex with her.

    • If you're paying for her birth control, then you're right, it's only fair that she chip in for condoms. That was a pretty key detail to leave out! It changes the whole situation.

  • OMG! Are you really that cheap? I don't care if you don't have that much money, if you can't afford to buy condoms, don't have sex. Simple, problem sovled,

    She is justified to ask you to use condoms, no b.c. is fool proof. Do you help pay for her b.c.? I thought not. And can you afford to help care for a baby should you create one? I thought not.

    Everytime you have sex you know that is a possibility & she is being the responsible one. Man up, grow up. If you don't have much money, get another job.

    • Wait! Now I've heard everything.

    • men need to not be so cheap

    • i know right! he sounds selfish.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm with you 100% on this one man.

    If you're in a monogamous relationship and your girl is on the pill - there's absolutely no reason to use condoms; and if you're already splitting the costs of birth control with her, she has no right to file a grievance with you on chipping in for rubbers

    It's amazing how women try to manipulate us (making us think that we should be thankful for sex with them)... like we (men) ONLY need sex and nothing else... *scoffs*

    I was surprised goflipaburger mentioned that monthly payments for birth control can be over $50 dollars, but condoms are pretty expensive too (a box of 3 can cost over $5 dollars). You figure you bang 6 times a week (that's $10 dollars) over the course of a month (that's $40 dollars in condoms for the month!). AND THAT'S FOR PROTECTION THAT YOU DON'T EVEN NEED PROVIDED YOU ARE BOTH MONOGAMOUS AND SHE'S ON B.C.!

    • Thank you! Granted I don't "bang 6 time a week" ...but she would if she could. And contrary to popular myth and folklore, I as a male do not have an exceptionally high sex drive as compared to her. Men are not always as sex crazy as women are led to believe. Don't get me wrong, I love doing the deed, but I don't need to every single night like she wants to!

    • You should give yourself best answer XD

    • Money aside, there is every reason to use condoms in a monogamous relationship. Even if you aren't worried about STDs, remember that the pill does NOT work 100%, even when used correctly. If avoiding pregnancy is a big priority, it is ALWAYS better to use multiple types of birth control.

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  • Well, I thought you were being reasonable... If it were me, I'd tell her 'Listen, I honestly can't AFFORD the amount of condoms. I can't afford to have sex with you as much as we do; so, either we split the cost or we have sex less.There's nothing I can do about it.'

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm guessing you're in the US because of the $ and paying for birth control? In the UK we have sexual health clinics that you can go and get free condoms from. Have you got something like that in the US like family planning or something? With regards to paying for stuff, tell her if she pays for all her birth control you'll by the equivalent in condoms? Also, on some adult sites (not that kind) you can sometimes buy bulk packs of them for a lot cheaper.

  • haha well I can see both sides of the argument but I'm more on your side. If she's the one that initiates more and requires that you wear a condom and the fact that you have no money should be reasons for her to at least be somewhat nice and buy a box of condoms for you guys.

    I'm sure you would do it but you have no money so you literally can't.

    • I agree- if she can afford it more easily, it would be nice for her to buy them- but he went about it all wrong, and came off as an insensitive prick. She has a right to be upset.

    • I really don't think he was insensitive at all.

    • If someone told me flat out "You need to pay for the condoms because YOU want to have sex so much," I'd be offended. Forgive me. Add all the stuff about being cheap (despite paying for the pill which can cost up to $40 a month, maybe more), and I'm pretty sure you have yourself some grade A insensitivity. Now what he actually said to her, I don't know. But based on this question, his attitude is questionable.

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  • Wearing condoms is always a good idea even when a girl's on the pill. She might be the type of girl who forgets to take her pills. Or she may be on a type of pill with a slightly lower efficiency rate. Or she may just want to be sure that the chance of pregnancy is as low as possible. Either way, I think you should listen to her. She's the one who can get pregnant, she should set those rules. Don't like condoms? Get used to them. At least half of the girls you date will want you to use a condom. Take the time to find a brand and size that works for you. I also think it's fair for you to but the condoms. I buy my birth control, and my boyfriend buys our condoms, and he usually is the one who pays less monthly for our sex to be safe. Condom's aren't that expensive. I honestly think you're the one who is being cheap.

  • Well, bro, she already bought the pill and takes it, if she wants you to use a condom, your suppose to buy it. She doesn't or shouldn't have to buy them as well with the pill.

  • She has the right to be upset. She does her part you should do yours. And you shouldn't be complaining about her sex drive, because that's not something you can control, and you should respect her since she's your girlfriend. I make my boyfriend buy condoms, it's only fair. For me, no condoms, no sex. Sure, they're not 100% necessary, but they protect against stds and I like to be safe than sorry. I'm sure you have some type of money to buy condoms, if not, get a job. If you want to continue having sex with your girlfriend, buy the condoms.

    • If you're really that broke, maybe you can ask her to buy you condoms for your birthday.

    • That's not a bad idea. If she's in a financial position to pay for the condoms more easily, then there's nothing wrong with her buying them. But you need to approach the subject with more consideration. After all, she is probably already paying more per month than you are.

    • Yeah, birth control isn't exactly cheap. I don't think there's anything wrong with her buying them, besides the fact that she feels like he should be buying them

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  • Try this. Save your quarters that you get in change. Put them in a zip-loc bag. When she wants to do it, pull out your bag. If your bag is light, tell her that you can't afford it. At that point you either have a down a*s b**ch or your butt is single.

  • That's stupid! On her part, I mean!

    I just recently got on birthcontrol...not because I hate kids lol but just because we are in college and it would be rather inconvienent. He pays for my birthcontrol...his request. So, I think she should appreciate the money you put out for that...it's not cheap!

    As far as condoms go...we both buy condoms whenever we need them. We keep some at his house and some at my dorm and whenever he runs out he buys more and I buy more when I run out. She needs to stop feeling entitiled and realize she benefits just as much as you do from the condoms. So, no, I don't think she has a right to be mad and I think it's good you require her to help out in that area...considering she is the one that wants you to use them so bad.

    • Thought I'd respond here: he didn't say he pd. for her B.C. until after I answered his question. I actually find that very "convenient" of him. If he really does pay for it, I think he would have said that in his original question since he was giving all the other info., don't you? Now really, don't you?

    • You bring up a good point... One which crossed my mind as well. But I suppose th fairest thing to do is assume he's being honest. After all, if we don't assume that, what are we here for?

    • I'm gonna choose to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he didn't feel it necessary to say...seriously, it's not that big of a deal...condoms don't cost that much and she recieves pleasure from sex just as much as him so to throw a fit about splitting the cost of condoms is ridiculous.

  • Here's a thought! Forget the pill, she should look into the depo shot, it's once every 3 months, it's cheaper & easier than the pill. Then you could afford condoms. Go to a P.P. clinic or health dept. & it will be cheaper. If you are students, you may be ablt to go to your student health center.

    Another cheap-o saver...go to your local food pantry once a month for groceries & use your budgeted food $ for that week to buy condoms. It's OK, because food pantries are there for folks who have $$ issues, which you do. So, it's there, use it. They do not ask what you need your $ for. So you don't need to tell them you need condom $, hehe.

  • No f*** you. If you still wanna use a condom you can pay for it. Are you gonna split the cost of her birth control? It's expensive sh*t.

    • No need for abusive language. Maybe you should learn to read before you comment and insult people.

  • I'm only disturbed about the part where you don't want to go back door...

  • You can get free condoms at planned parenthood or the county health department

  • condoms don't cost that much, she is doing her part by being on the pill (which can be expensive), I don't think she is asking that much for you to do.

    And why wouldn't you be happy that your girlfriend is being responsible for being on the pill, and wanting you to wear a condom?

  • Buy your own condoms dude. Cheap b*stard. It's what we do. You do not ask a woman to buy or pay for them. You just do not do that. After all she has to take the pill everyday, what do you have to do? Put the rubber on. You should feel lucky you have a woman that wants you. Complain about something else.

  • I understand that you wearing condoms gives her more security. The pill is not 100% effective so if you combine it with the condoms is safest. But if you give her money for the pill then she is being selfish in not helping you pay the condoms as well. It should be 50/50 for both ways, you pay half the pill she pays half the money the condoms cost.

    • ^^^ A sensible female :)

  • As a man you should have enough to buy condoms and everything else..women should not have to pay anything..money matters..she has every right to be mad and or dump you

  • why in the hell don't you want to bareback her anally?

  • This is what she gets for dating a broke guy. Sorry but that's the biggest problem. You want to have sex with her, but are bitching about the price of condoms? Both of you guys need to get your money up before you participate in riskky activities that might bring kids into the world. Can't even afford CONDOMS? OMG that's pathetic.

    • So poor or less fortunate people should not be allowed to procreate? Okay then.

    • I don't approve of the method of delivery, but the main point isn't invalid- if you don't have enough money for condoms, you DON'T have enough money to raise a child with any type of normal stability. Therefore, being low on cash is just ANOTHER reason to be extra careful about pregnancy. I don't want to say that people who struggle for money shouldn't be ALLOWED to produce, but it's only common sense and basic responsibility not to conceive a child you can't care for.