Girlfriend going to ibiza with her 2 girl friends, advice?

[Anonymous]

next month my girlfriend is heading off to ibiza for a week with a cpl of her friends, and I got to admit I'm rather nervous of her going. as the whole atmosphere out there is sun, sea, sand partying and sex. she had the holiday booked before we got together, and the last thing I want to do is stop her from going as it would annoy me if it was the other way round however this is a prime place for cheats...i do trust her when she is sober but if she has to much to drink people can do stupid things especially abroad as they think are not on there doorstep...which worries me so before she goes do you think I shall lay down some ground rules and make her aware that I'm nervous about her going or not say anything as I can stop what she will do anyway? (btw I've been seeing her for 4 months and were official 1.5 months) and one of the girls she is going with has a boyfriend too so its not like she is going with a bunch of single girls after causal sex thanks for answers

[DonMichelle]

''do you think I shall lay down some ground rules''... that's your first mistake. Refering to them as 'rules' just implies that you are fearful of her getting off with someone behind your back (which she may like, girls love jealosy) but it also makes you seem very possesive. It's a young relationship and you need to hold your tongue and trust her, that's all you can do. Even if you did 'instruct her' on what she can and can't do... she'll be in another country, you can't see what she's doing, your laws will count for nothing. Whether she cheats or not is all down to her, nothing you say can really change that. You knew she was going on this holiday before you got together so you can't really start to panic now... you knew this holiday was happening and you still chose to start a relationship.

I reckon (as most girls would) she'll be a little annoyed, maybe feel unappreciated, and even suspicious if you don't mention the prospect of her (and yourself) getting upto 'mischievous acts' whilst you're away from each other but you can't make your concerns sound desperate and full of worry. Joke about it, be relaxed, it's the best you can do. Say something like 'i'm hoping this 'girl's holiday' won't involve many lads', show her you're slightly wary but you trust her. You instructing her is as good as accusing in some ways, it's as if you expect her to shag about which could cause some arguments, maybe even influence a decision to go with another lad whilst she's away.

You know what she's like, does her past record imply that she enjoys casual meetings?

The best you can do is show some concern in a joking, relaxed manner and sit back and hope she doesn't. If you have really strong suspicions... why don't you have a few lad's nights out whilst she's away (something that you could joke about to her), get yourself some action?!?!?!

[hlpm123]

You're just starting out in a relationship with her so don't get too nervous yet. One, you've only been dating for a few months so if you try to lay down ground rules, you're likely going to scare her off. Two, come on man, she likes you ok? It's not like you've been dating for a long time and you've screwed up or she's tired of you. If you'd been daitng for a few years, OK, it's alright to feel a little worried, but you're nowhere near that point right now. She chose to go out with you and make things official so she's obviously into you currently. Just relax. Tell her to have fun and you'll be here when she gets back. Go chill with some friends and don't worry about it. If she cheats and you find out, then you probably only wasted a few months. But that is probably the LEAST likely scenario considering what you've written here. Even with the drinking, they aren't as promiscuous as others would let you believe.

[Anonymous]

I love hanging out with my friends & when we're on vacation boys are the last thing on our minds. honestly, the girl bonding time & a tan is all we're looking for.

don't lay down ground rules...that plan will just backfire on you. the fact that another girl in the group has a boyfriend is good. If the other girls hook up with anyone, then the two of them can keep each other company.

If she's smart, she won't do anything. And if she does cheat, then that's a clear sign you two weren't meant for each other. its better to end that mess early than to get stuck in a complicated relationship

[Belgie]

Laying down "ground rules" will only INCREASE the chances she'll cheat on you.

It only says you don't trust her, and you want to control her. No woman likes hearing that short of sh*t. The fastest way to get a girl to do something is to forbid her to do it.

Let her go, let her have a good time, and NEVER EVER ask if she cheated on you.

That's the mature and responsible thing to do. And never ever let her know you're nervous. Girls respect and admire confidence. You should be giving off the air of "There's no way she'd cheat I'm me, because I'm just so f***ing awesome."

[DonMichelle]

Exactly what I said. A possesive parent INSTRUCTS her kids NOT to eat any cake... the kids eat the cake and get shouted at afterward. The instruction and concequence given to the children just makes them more rebellious if anything People want what they can't have/are told they can't have... human nature

[Blobb]

Likelyhood is high and there ain't sh*t you can do about it. really.

Well that's if you guys don't have amazing trust and she doesn't love you to bits, even then she could cheat.

[Anonymous]

Good luck man! I'm going with Belgie on this. As soon as you show the slightest concern, you'll appear weak and she'll be more likely to stray. Having said that, it WILL be a party atmosphere and guys will pretty much be non-stop hitting on her. The fact that her friend has a guy helps you though, as girls typically don't want to be the only one hooking up. But if others in her group are, that could be trouble.

Why aren't you going on vacation with her? I'm guessing she planned this well in advance? Otherwise, that's a bigger cause for concern.

[Anonymous]

she will cheat

girls on vacation are fair game man and a majority if not all have sex on vacation because no one will know... she will cheat and come back and say sbe didn't

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who has sex on vacation. I'm sure it happens, but not as often as it does in the movies. Most girls prefer knowing a guy a bit before she beds down with him.

[DonMichelle]

This couldn't be more false. Almost as though you've wrote the 'anti-truth'

[random_hero]

Nah that's only true for sluts, like you Don Michelle. You're not a man. You reek of slut.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't say it never happens -- I just said I don't know anyone who does it. My own personal experience is what it is...It's not a sampling of every woman in the world. Just the ones I know.