Guys, can you tell when a woman is faking it?

I haven't had many orgasms with my boyfriend. And he does everything right, but I just don't get there. Therefore I've faked it many times but I don't think he has noticed, or can you?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I definitely can. There are just things you can't fake, especially if you've never experienced it. Facial expressions, gasping for air, deathgrip on the sheets, pointing/wiggling toes, heartrate, sweating, vaginal pulsing, etc. But if a guy has minimal experience, or just doesn't pay attention, he might buy your acting, even if I wouldn't.

    You are cheating him and yourself, though. He may be doing a lot of things well, but if they aren't the things you NEED, how will he ever know that he needs to experiment and try out different things to see if he can get you where you need to go? You'll never get to orgasm if you're faking it.

    I've been with a couple of girls who warned me up-front that they had trouble orgasming. Aside from the one who had an abusive past, I had the others orgasming very quickly, but I had to try a few different things to see what they responded to, and I had to pay close attention to HOW they were responding so I knew how to make little adjustments. If they hadn't given me honest feedback, I'd have been lost, or at least frustrated.

    I recommend you tell your guy the truth, and then have some fun experimenting with a bunch of different stuff. Don't necessarily go in with the specific goal of making you orgasm, just try to find things that feel really good for you, and concentrate on that. The orgasms will sneak up on you if you relax and just get into how good things are feeling. If you TRY to orgasm, you'll just create pressure on yourself and that will make it harder.

    • We can fake vaginal pulsing with keagals. :/ as well as facial expressions, and all of that other stuff

    • I seriously doubt that you could do all of those things simultaneously and well enough to convince me it was real. I'm not saying it's impossible, because maybe there are ultra-talented girls out there, but the average girl won't be able to pull that off for sure. And anyway, why would you want to? Why not work towards REAL orgasms?

  • Nope. Never can really tell.

    However, the best thing for you to do is to be honest with him about it. You're only hurting both of you if you keep faking it (you because no orgasms, him because he's going through life as a sub-par lover when you could make him better).

    The next chance you get to talk to him you should bring this up.

    You'll feel better for not lying about it, and you'll feel better in bed. Talk about what happened the times you've actually climaxed, and try to recreate what happened.

    Also, don't "try" to orgasm. That can put pressure on you that can keep you from "reaching your goal."

    Also, show him where your g-spot is. Tell him how to work your clitoris with his tongue.

    Whatever you do be honest about it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Thats so disappointing when a girl 'fakes' an orgasm. Don't go out of your way to make him feel better! You should be getting off! if your not then he needs to be going out of his way to make you! if you fake it then he thinks he's doing a good job and won't try anymore. Its ridiculous that you would fake it, nothing wrong or embarrassing about not getting off, its just a message to your boyfriend he needs to try harder or try different things. I have NEVER faked it, that just means they try harder next time. He's your boyfriend, therefore he HAS TO learn how to pleasure you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don't think a girl can possibly fake one with me, cause I take special care. but I like to think I would notice. mostly because I know exactly what IM doing, and what she's acting doesn't match, which it probably wouldnt, I would pick up on it instantly. shed have to be overly hard to get off, and an incredible actor to fool me.

    • very very confident!

  • You shouldn't lie to your boyfriend, regardless if he notices or not.

    And here is your problem: he might not know now, but once you start having them he'll notice the difference.

  • Oh damn, these guys don't know they are talking about. Everything they describe is easily faked by a girl in they put the attention into detail in. There is one tell, and one tell only that let's a guy know he's made a girl reach her peak, and that's when the girl's skin becomes flushed red around the the facial the chest area, basically a beat red color. If you haven't seen this on a girl when a guy thinks she is coming than she hasn't actually orgasmed...it's so sad most men don't know this tell.

    • that tell would only work with white girls

    • What if she is brown? lol or has darker skin that doesn't flush? Is there another tell?

    • Yes, that is true for some girls, but not even like half of them. Must be an Irish thing...

    • Show All
  • I can usually tell. If it's my first time with a specific girl, not always. But after I've learned them, it's pretty easy to tell the difference.

  • ya I think most of us can. cause they try to replicate what they see in the movies and we can tell its just not legit. we'd rather you tell us what to do. once we see a real one we know how one really looks. but apparently most girls don't orgasm until they're 30's. saw it on national geographic lol. something about girls are mostly worried about how they look during sex and if the guy is enjoying it rather then just letting go and enjoying it themselves.

  • just cause your boyfriend does everything right it doesn't matter it your not mentally into it... having a orgasm is all a mine set... maybe your boyfriend needs to do more for you to cum.. cause for me the girl can be good but if she's not talking to me dirty then I won't have a orgasm.. cause when a women has a orgasm you can just tell by body reacts and the muscle around the womens mid section move

  • Depends. Girls do come differently. Usually the legs shaking is a good indicator, but my current girlfriend is shaky before orgasm and then sort of "freezes" when she finishes. Some girls get louder, some breathing changes. But I think the most tell tale sign is facial expression. Most girls have their O face, and if you have seen it a few times you know what to look for.

    BTW - stop faking it. Its OK you are having a hard time letting go. Usually it is more mental for the girls in that situation than they guy not being skilled. Being open with him and talking through it is the only way you will get comfortable with it and let go.

    I had an ex that told me she came from sex all the time we were together, even though she just cane from oral (confessed after breaking up). I was pissed not so much becase she lied, but because we could have worked on it together, but she was too scared to say anything. Don't be that girl :)

  • you shouldn't do that, its bad for your psyche, not to mention your relationship when he figures out the difference.

  • Depends how good her acting is. If she puts forth an academy award winning performance, probably not.

  • sure I can tell. the real orgasm is different . so why you fake it when you can get orgasm every time you have sex. tel him to go down on you till orgasm before intercourse. because it's very hard to get orgasm from intercourse . or better he use his hands to give you orgasm while you s*** on him when you finished start the intercourse.

  • why would you fake it? its not like you are getting paid by a fake orgasm. it doesn't benefit anyone. its harder for girls to get an orgasm during sex and its a well known fact. your boyfriend has nothing to be ashamed of neither do you

  • most can't

  • Dishonesty. The foundations of a relationship, that doesn't sound right... If the girl doesn't get off, I usually do some handy work.

  • I wouldn't even try to tell. I don't give a sh*t if she's faking or not.

    It's dead simple - if you're not cumming, you can tell me (and we can try to fix things and make it better for you) or you can not tell me, and we'll continue having sex which doesn't satisfy you.

    If you want to pick the stupid option, that's your choice. It doesn't effect me in the slightest.

  • hell yea lol

    its the way you moan

    theres a girl who told me the way the girls moan: you can tell whether they are faking or not

    heres what she told me:

    if her moans are repetative and fast like "ah ah ah ah" they are faking

    if it isn't consecutive and its its like "ah... ah" its more likely they arnt faking it because if it feels good, they ususally don't have the strength to do that consecutive moans thing

    i don't know if its true what she says lol

    but I also met a couple girls whos vaginas contract when they "orgasm"

    i don't know if any of theses things are true or not, just things I gather from experience

    but then again

    this shows how little guys knows about girls haha