Guys: Do you ALWAYS expect a girl to help thrust?

I'm not talking about being active during sex in general. I am absolutely not passive in bed. I'm enthusiastic, and I give oral twice as often as I receive it. But when it comes to actual intercourse, i.e. the penis in vagina thing, I often have a hard time helping. When I'm on top, I usually do most of the work, but when I'm not, it can be really hard for me to move my hips right or to match his rhythm. Is this bad? Will my partner feel like I'm making him do all the work? If so, what can I do?
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I'm not trying to be lazy, I genuinely have a hard time with it. And just saying, when someone says "it can be really hard for me to match his rhythm", "match his rhythm" isn't that helpful of a response. I've tried pretty hard so unless someone gives me a totally revolutionary way to do this, I think I'm kind of stuck. Thanks for any opinions or tips!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • For me, I can tell when the girl is really into the pounding she's getting, and it's not from noisy moaning. It's really from the overall feel, look, sounds that the girl I'm with is showing. If my thrusts are being met with her hips being more, let's say, accepting and then her puss has a bit of an "acceptance" (hard to explain unless you've felt it), then I'm pretty sure she's enjoying it. Also, if she's trying to angle herself for more and deeper thrusts, she really likes what you're doing.

    It's kind of hard I think for girls in certain positions to thrust back. It's like more working out then just enjoying the pleasure. Also if I'm really pounding fast and hard with really deep thrusts, sometimes it's hard for her to keep up, or even take it without biting or screaming out or just being lady like LOL, so I don't expect to get thrusting back. I just hope it's a feeling of euphoria on her end.

    But girls can do lots when they are on top (reverse cowgirl or standard or whatever) and doggy as well. Because you can bounce or push your ass back. So then, it's really fun and looks so good.

    But either than that, depending on the position, it's kind of hard for girls to do much. But they can still be responsive in other ways like using their hands or mouths or vocally or whatever else they want. Just be into it. If you're not, then just let me know and we can do it another time or whatever.

    • Very comprehensive answer, and I can tell you understand what I mean about it being difficult in some positions. Thanks so much! I'll keep trying but I feel better about it now.

    • that was insightful!

    • Yeah no prob. I think when a guy has more experiences with women (either with one at different times or women of different personalities and likes in bed) then they get more insight as to what women like and don't like. Also not every woman is the same, but every woman can be exciting in bed. Just a preference and having that acceptance as to what they are willing or can do.

  • It's important for me that the girl is participating, but, for me, the girl doesn't have to thrust to be participating. If she's pulling her knees/legs back, spreading her lips, kissing, putting her arms/hands on/around me, playing with her boobs or clit, and/or making noise, all of that is participation that let's me know that she's enjoying what we're doing.

    Women's bodies are built slightly different than men in the hips and pelvis, giving men an advantage for thrusting (which shouldn't be any surprise to anyone). I don't expect a woman to be able to match that, especially since many positions make that significantly more difficult for her than for me. Obviously, if the girl is on top, or if she is into a particular position, angle, or rhythm that allows her to move more, then great. But if she can't, that's fine too.

    What guys don't like is when the girl lays there glassy-eyed looking like she's calculating her tax refund or picking out a color scheme for the room or whatever. As long as you are showing us that you are "in the moment" like we are, and enjoying what's going on, then we're all good.

    • Also a great answer, thanks for your effort!

Most Helpful Girl

  • when I'm on the bottom, I wrap my legs around him so it doesn't seem like I'm just lying there doing nothing and it helps his d*** get deeper as well and makes the girl feel tighter. Works wonders :)

    • Thanks! I do do that a lot, but I never thought of it as a way to replace thrusting. My boyfriend likes it though. So I guess if I stick with that, it'll all be good!

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  • Nah I wouldn't always expect her to but it's another way to see that she's enthusiastic about it.

  • A good run down on the bio-mechanics of fucking but I'd like to add to it. Implicit in the question I think is that a girl should be able to penile thrust but in reverse so to speak.

    It is more natural for a girl to do what I call pussy swipes. Now I'm a guy so I don't exactly what is going on there but my impression is the girl is swiping her clit along my shaft. It as sexy as hell when a girl does that as she approaches orgasm.

    I had the very pleasant experience of whispering sweet nothings into the ear of a girl who was susceptible to such things. 'Why are you saying such things to me' she asked and then immediately started to hump air. The bio mechanical motion was the pelvic bone was curled upward then released. Regrettably I had the gentlemanly impulse to help her cum and everything stopped when I did. She came back from wherever she was.

    Another time I was partner dancing with a girl I didn't know. The rhythm got to her and she became a little dreamy. Her back arched as she hung from my neck. Then I saw her eyes roll back and felt three long slow pussy swipes on my thigh.

    So I would say to the OP I will do the penile thrusting and you do the pussy swipes :) What I am arguing is we have different genitals so it is not surprising if our hip/pelvic movements are different to maximize our pleasure. Don't deny me the femininity of your natural pelvic movements!

    Now I have been with girls who have been quite vigorous under me. Too vigorous. My cock kept being displaced out into the cold. If the girl is too active then it can be hard to synchronize well enough on the first run at fucking. It was frustrating for me and I daresay to her. I am the one with the cock so take your timing from me is the second thing I would say.

    The third thing I would say is you don't have to be a rattlesnake in bed. As more than one guy has said we just want you to be into it. The total opposite to all this is to be a starfish. But you know what this is incredibly sexy if you are so aroused that by the time we have found a bed you recline back and with your body language say 'Do whatever you want to do to me Boy'.

    Finally a girl did teach me a good position where we could both thrust as we individually wanted. When we got to the bed, she piled many pillows against the head board and lay against them so she was half lying half sitting. With her legs spread I was kneeling between her thighs, easily able to penetrate and thrust into her. Because my weight wasn't on her, her pelvic movement was uninhibited. It was a nice little game of I'll give you ten, then you give me ten. Her breasts and nipples where in easy reach at all times and could easily kiss and nuzzle. If she just wanted to lie back and take it, she could.

    If you haven't tried this or something similar I recommend you give it a whirl.

    The same girl wrapped her legs around me, as I knelt over her, and tried to spear herself on my phallus. She was the best I ever had and I wish I was still enjoying her repertoire of tricks. :(

  • I don't...speaking for myself...a litle help sometimes is nice..you would have no problem with me...(:

  • If you're not on top, try wrapping your legs around him and using that to pull yourself up; match his rhythm. You can try doing the same with your arms...

    • So in other words, if the girl isn't helping thrust all the time no matter what position you're in, it's a bad thing?

    • Not necessarily. In my experience, the only thing that can make sex noticeably worse is when the girl is emotionally distant or simply not as aroused as I am. For a lot of guys, whether or not a woman thrusts simultaneously doesn't make a big difference in terms of physical sensation. I'd say that you're in the clear as long as you're passionate and enthusiastic about it; let the physical actions come naturally.