Guys: Would you try to sleep with your good friend's ex girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

And why? I'm in this situation: My ex and I split. His really good friend wants to sleep with me. He said he's wanted me for a long time. I have always been attracted to him too, but I think it's totally messed up. I'm not going to do it, but I was wondering if this is something that men think it's ok to do?

[JimPossible2009]

The keyword here is "ex". If the break up was some time ago (a month or longer), I say yes, but if it just happened and they might get back together, then I say no. Now if I was extremely attracted to her, I would say yes, because life is too short and I would not want to miss out on a wonderful experience. After all, she could be the girl that becomes my wife. Technically, she is not bound to him anymore. You have to weigh the pros and cons of each and make a decision that is in your favor. He may not like it, but will eventually get over it as soon as he finds another girl friend. It happens all the time, 24/7 everywhere around the world.

[Asker]

Well he's in an open relationship and he suggested we keep it a secret.

[Tm89williams]

No, I would not ever sleep with one of my good friend's ex girlfriend. Even if I had his permission, I couldn't do that to him. From your updates it seems like he just wants to get with you and forget it after. Plus, he is in a relationship...I don't think open relationships are right personally. Wanting to keep it a secret is another thing that would bother me if I was you. If his friend wouldn't have a problem with it then there should be no reason for a secret. Maybe (My own opinion) his girlfriend doesn't know it is an "open" relationship and if she found out she would be pissed. Too many negatives I think.

[gravygirl]

I don't know if it's considered cool, but a lot of them try to do it. I've been in your spot a few times.

[Asker]

Is it just for the sex or what? Why do they do that?

[gravygirl]

I'm sure it sometimes is just for sex. It could also be a legit crush, since they've gotten to know you a bit. And on some weird, disturbing kind of level, I think it could be a male competitiveness thing. Like that they want to prove that they can get the girl their friend could. Ugh. Nothing like being a mere trophy in an ego war.

[girl_nevaagain]

No, just got out of a similar situation. Ex & I broke up 1 year ago. Months afterward, a mutual friend and I started dating, eventually having sex. I was genuinely interested & felt it was OK cause my ex was over me. I was wrong. The guy felt guilty & told my ex. Ex flipped out. 2 add insult, turns out the guy had a girlfriend. So I was left with both a rep. & embarassment. Think about how the situation will affect u, cause when the sh*t hits the fan, guys stick 2gether & you will be the fool.

[AOgixxer750]

i wouldn't, its bro code. maybe if it was a few years down the line. and my buddy was cool with it. I would rather keep a good friend than lose them over a girl.

[lefthand]

Women are not property and no one is off limits except by mutual agreement of the couple. If the couple ceases to exist, the agreements no longer apply. This might lead to some awkward moments but you learn to cope with it.

I am married to my girlfriend's roommate. We went to a small college and you got used to the fact that your ex would eventually be dating one of your friends. You learn to be polite about it and wish them well.

[JimPossible2009]

Then keep it secret until your ex finds a new gf. You only live once and he (your ex) should not be allowed to affect your life choices after you break-up.

[AOgixxer750]

So ruining a long time friendship is ok?

[JimPossible2009]

I seriiously doubt it will end a long time relationship. I have seen this happen several times, just keep it a secret until your ex has a new girlfriend then break the news. He may not like it, but it won't be friendship breaker because he has already moved on. The bottom line is that you and the guy you like should not have to put off your happiness to avoid making your ex jealous or whatever. You are not committed to him any more. As soon as he has a girlfriend he won't care.

[Asker]

My other problem is that he has a girlfriend already. When he first brought everything up, that didn't seem to be an issue for him. I asked him about it. He told me that she wouldn't care because they're in an open relationship. I've never known him to be an open relationship kind of person. I've known him for 6 years now. They also live together. He also said I would be the only other person he'd be with. The whole thing sounds so wrong. So the girlfriend, plus he's friends with my ex. Now what?

[JH5022]

yes it is because you like each other obviously, and you split with your ex so your fine, have fun and good luck, p.s. that guy is lucky.

[Asker]

He's in an open relationship though.

[JH5022]

Ok I get what you're saying.

[curiousbraz]

im not trying to be an A-hole but I have a motto

if she broke up with him wait 6 years

if he broke up with her wait 6 days

yea I would

and it depend if your ex still has feeling for you

[Asker]

I know my ex doesn't have feelings for me because he's interested in someone else. His friend knew about that and was the one who told me about it right after the break up. And yeah, he did tell me that after a few months the friend code was not going to be violated because enough time had gone by.

[curiousbraz]

Then go for it i see no problem and good luck =D

[Harper31]

I know I wouldn't because there is this thing called loyalty. I couldn't live with myself if I slept with a good friends ex.

[Anonymous]

well id do it