Had sex first time; why couldn't I feel anything?

I've been fingered a lot and am able to come in about 20 minutes. When I had sex though honestly I hardly felt anything. I would call it "good" but there was nothing building up. I tried going on top and plain ol missionary. Top was a little better but still. What could be the problem?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A couple of things:

    1. You aren't used to intercourse. It may take a little time to get used to the different sensations involved and to feel pleasure from them. That's not unusual, but it corrects itself with time.

    2. If you're having sex like you often see in p*rn, where the only body parts that touch are penis and vagina, then you won't be getting enough stimulation, especially if he's angling where he's going straight in. By rolling your hips up or down a bit (pulling your legs further back, or putting them down a bit more), you change the angle of your vagina relative to the angle of his thrusts, and that can cause more friction against your inner walls, increasing pleasure. If you're on your back, with your legs pulled back further, you can often have him hitting your G-spot more, which should help. Same idea in doggy style; either angle your body upwards from your hips, such as bending over the back of a couch so your back as at a 45 degree angle, or bend all the way down so your face/boobs are on the bed and your ass is up in the air. This will increase the angle and provide both of you more sensation.

    3. You may also need more clitoral stimulation. One of you can either rub your clit manually (who does it will depend on the position you're in, and who can reach it), or you can have him change his thrusting. Instead of pulling all the way out and going 3/4 of the way in (as often seen on p*rn), where only the penis itself makes contact, have him go all the way in so his pubic mound is against yours, and then have him "grind" on you, which will give him short but deep strokes, but will also vastly increase the stimulation of your clit.

    4. Ideally, he should be mixing it up a bit and giving you other stimulation: kissing you on your face, neck, breasts, nipples, squeezing your breasts and ass, running his fingers through your hair, pulling your hair, etc. etc. By moving his attention around to different areas, with different pressures and textures, it greatly enhances the experience for both of you.

    5. At the end of the day, HIS inexperience is likely playing a part in this as much as your own. You can't expect to be a super-star your first time out, so you have to have realistic expectations, but that doesn't mean you can't always be working to make it better and better. Part of the fun of sex is the process of discovery. Not everything you try will work, but occasionally you'll figure something out that ends up blowing your mind. That's part of what makes it great!

  • Well, the first couple of inches are the most sensitive. Did you get enough foreplay? Were you aroused to the point that it was easy for him to insert it, and for it to slide in and out? Try more positions, and what I call "sub-positions". What I mean by "sub-positions" is: If you are on top (for example), don't just move up and down. Try leaning forward or backwards a little. Ride front and back, and so on. Trying different varieties will help you find what feels best for you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think it was that he's small. I had a similar situation on my first time. The first time hurt really bad and I got nothing out of it, but the second time we tried a ton of positions and maybe like one or two did I start to feel something. Part of me feels like I was really distracted and nervous so it was hard for me to focus on the task at hand.

  • i experienced the same thing! it felt good when he'd enter but after that I couldn't feel much! my boyfriend recently got a procedure to shrink his size which really shrunk him so he even asked if I felt anything I told him I did but really I didn't! it could've been because I was so wet but he just didn't really fulfill me!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • The guy you where with was to small for you to feel.i am not being a jerk I am being honest.

  • LOL! BWAAAHAHAA! IT'S BECAUSE HE HAS A SMALL PENIS! HAAAAHAHAAHAA! "I hardly felt anything..." Priceless. This question should be on a bumper sticker.

  • You're not attracted to the guy - or to men.

    Fingering is gender neutral, if you think about it.

  • he has a small penis or you have a wide vagina