He couldn't keep "it" up..what can I do?

I have been hooking up with this guy for a while but last night was te first time we did anything besides kiss. He wanted to go all the way but there was one problem..he couldn't get hard. I tried going down on him and he would be hard for about 10 seconds then it would go away. This is the first time he has done anything with a girl so maybe it was nerves? I am not sure. He told me that he has never had a problem with staying hard before (when he is by himself) ...does anyone know of anything I could do next time to make him stay hard?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • He definitely nervous because he knew he had to perform and it was just a sex thing and not because he loves you. There's a lot of difference in the way a guy performs when he really like a girl or if they just likes her for sex. So you have to just take your time and slow down and do some other things together like sexy kissing, making out, letting him finger you and you putting your hand inside his pants and working his hardon. Keep doing these things until you are both so turned on that having sex will just come natural. Take the pressure off him of having to perform at a certain time, and instead try getting him turned on and hard like I mentioned. Once his mind is turned around and he sees you as a desirable girl that he kinda likes, after some sexy kissing, etc, and a little making out, he should really want to go all the way because he'll be so ready.

    • "There's a lot of difference in the way a guy performs when he really like a girl or if they just likes her for sex." I'm intrigued by that statement. Can you explain it further? What is the difference?

  • hm well since it was his first I would say it was nerves. even more so if he is 20 or over because he has most likely built it up a lot. try and take things slow and see if there is anything you can do to make him more comfortable. if that doesn't work then try and do something kinky that he likes. last there is always Viagra. good luck.

Most Helpful Girl

  • mybf was like tht at 1st he was mega nervous in the end I took controll and went on top and got him to relax that seamed to work. make him relax suck for a bit then hop on till he feals confident enough to take over. just don't be pushy about it or he will find it hard to relax.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Act like it's no big deal, like it's absolutely cool. It's probably nerves, so the worst thing you can do is pay real serious attention to it. That only guarantees that it will happen a lot more.

  • YOU can't do anything. It could have a little to do with being nervous, but I don't think so. Honestly, he chokes the chicken too much. when a guy does that a lot, its hard for him to stay hard for longer. It makes it harder for him to orgasm too, like you know if he wacked it just an hour before...his thing needs rest.

  • it's him. he's just choking and is too nervous. take it slow. don't dive into sex or whatknot but try to get him used to being naked or being exposed with you and not freak out when you touch him.