The fact is that porn is easy. Sex can be a very complex negotiation even at its best. Humans, especially men, are lazy.
Even so, porn should be a supplement and not a substitute. It is also an experience that can be shared if both parties are comfortable, though that should be approached carefully.
I would not recommend cheating. First, make sex as easy as possible. You might have a crazy sex drive, but that doesn't mean sex is easy. It takes time, it can be inconvenient, it can end in hurt feelings if things don't go well... Easy and fun. Try not to be upset. Frustration only makes things more difficult and high-pressure. If that doesn't work, the issue should be addressed directly, but not confrontationally. Bring it up as a problem that IS rather than a problem he is doing to you.
If that doesn't work, make it clear that you can't go on like this. If none of that causes him concern, then there is a more serious problem, either an addiction on his part, or a rift in the relationship or both. It is likely, though, that he just needs some coaxing and he is as attracted to you as ever. He probably does not realize there is a problem, or how serious it is.
You know, Anonymous User gave some really good advice. You should probably talk to a professional about this since it is affecting you, and if you do cheat, that can lead to a whole mess or problems (ruined self esteem - yours, STDs, babies,.. really, it can get messy).
As for why he is looking at porn, I am not sure, but I can take a guess. Guys are very visual, that is why they look at porn, but, the fact that he isn't into getting with you at all could be another problem,... since most guys when looking at porn would be ready to jump all over you.
I would talk to him about it, and don't be confrontational, since there may be an issue, and since you are married, it's best to work through things together. Also, try talking to a counselor.
Best of luck.
My husband became a porn addict. He was online searching porn sites and he had porn mags and stuff all over the house. I didn't know what to do. It turns out our relationship was doomed. We started never having sex. We were together for 11 years and married for almost 7. I don't know what to tell you besides you need to get this fixed now. If you are becoming frustrated by this than it will cause a big problem later. If you are thinking of cheating, don't. Just end things. It will be a lot more complicated if you cheat. Cheating will not fix anything, it will only create a bigger rift in your marriage.
Have you confronted him? Try to include yourself in his porn watching...it could be fun. Maybe he's a little scared of asking you to do some things that really turn him on...anal, bondage...role play...whatever. Just communicate. If that doesn't help and counseling doesn't help...it's time to go. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hot you are...sex can become stale. Give him a lap dance...spice it up mama!! ;)
It can be hard when someone seems to like images more than they like you, and very hard to understand why. Though I can't tell why your husband prefers porn to you, I'll try to offer you advice. Try seducing your husband as often as possible. If you two share a religious conviction, talking with your spiritual leader might help. Talking to a marriage counselor about your sex life could solve the problems.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!From what I can tell porn and sex are two completely different things to guys. I mean, your man is probably as attracted to you as ever. It's just that porn tends to be like a bag of chips, it's easy, fast, and you are done when you want to be. Sex is like a night out together at a good restaurant, you have to get dressed, go out, eat, talk, pay, and it is usually way better than a bag of chips but can also turn out to be a pain in the butt and more trouble than it's worth. So it probably has nothing to do with how attracted he is to you it probably just means that in his mind there is a lot of time or effort involved with having sex that he might not want to go through. I don't know if that helps but I would suggest just trying to take a little of the pressure off when having sex and maybe be a little more aggressive.
It does sound like a porn addition . He'll probably not admit it anytime soon, though .
You may have to get some outside help for this, if it continues . Good luck to you .
I think he has an addiction to porn. You must address this to him. Does he know you know about his porn collection? Give him an ultimatums. Go get help or get separated.
Talk to him about it. Perhaps he would enjoy a more open relationship. If the thought of a more open relationship doesn't appeal to him, then ask him how he would feel if he caught you looking at all the ripped men on the net? Would it make him feel devalued? Would it threaten him? Sometimes, all it takes for men to "get it" is to ask them to see how they would feel if the shoe were reversed. If he still doesn't get it, then next time you two are out, let him see how it feels when you overtly flirt with other, more hot men. Good luck!
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