He doesn't last very long and gets embarrassed.

[louiseee]

My boyfriend doesn't last long most of the time. He sometimes lasts only under a minute, which does not bother me. We have been together for a year and a half but and it has always been like this. I reassure him it doesn't bother me when he mentions it, that I like it because it makes me feel like I did it right. I kiss him and constantly reassure him. I want him to feel confident, it's something I am always working towards. Guys, how can I help him feel better about this?

[kheserthorpe]

If he wants to work on it, there are things he could do.

Honestly it sounds like you are doing all you can - being happy and supportive.

Do you know why he wants to last longer? Is it to satisfy you, or he just -wants- it to last longer? How often do you have sex twice in one 'session'?

[louiseee]

I'm assuming because he likes how it feels and wants to prolong it and also because he wants to satisfy me. We don't have sex twice in one "session" because it isn't hard after he cums, not for long anyways. But we do have sex multiple times a day.

[kheserthorpe]

Its not normal to be hard right after he cums. Multiple times in a day should 'help'. If there's a time he brings it up, there are exercises you could do together that might help. But you can stress you're happy with things are they are - but if he wants to do them, you'll work with him.

[louiseee]

Wait so why did you ask if we did it twice in one session then? Ha. and exercises like what? Ha

[kheserthorpe]

By 'session', I was thinking more sex, continue touching maybe on you, sex again. So 10-40 minutes later, not like 3 hours later. My control is not where I want it to be ... and I only get sex a few times a month so its hard to work on. But basically its a combination of things: - him being more aware of his arousal level - a variety of techniques to bring arousal level down, including slower, belly breathing, reverse kegels, conscious relaxation, hard kegel into reverse kegel, ...

[kheserthorpe]

slowing down, stopping, and pulling out and stopping for a few seconds ... - trying to reprogram his brain to not anticipate orgasm so soon (if at all). So he should be using the above techniques all the time, and actually avoid -ever- orgasming quickly. Ideally, he would not even ejaculate every time.

[mattiee]

does he last only a minute with a condom on?

and what your doing is fine maybe if your that

comfortable with him tell him to masturbate before,

or use a condom if you don't. You could even try having

sex again right after he finishes or a little bit after

[louiseee]

We don't use condoms. And I feel like telling him to masturbate before may make him feel insecure about it, more so than he already is. We have tried condoms, and they do make him last longer, but they do not feel good to us. When we do have sex multiple times, he does last a little longer, like 10-20 minutes max, but I still don't know how to make him feel better about the first one.

[mattiee]

But you are just being honest to him, its better to tell the truth then to lie you guys have been going out for a while now. There are numbing lubes that maybe help him last longer, or even during foreplay you finish him off and then you go into intercourse

[louiseee]

But it doesn't bother me that he doesn't last long, I am being honest there. I just want to help him understand that it isn't a big deal at all. And have he finishes he is soft, so how do I do that?

[LUCYLUCK]

Tell him he needs to learn control, it's all a mental thing and he's probably so focused on not joint early that he goes early. He needs to relax and just enjoy it

[dave216]

Easy fix. For some reason you and he think he can only do it once. Let him come quick, then cuddle for a few minutes and then use your talents to get him hard again. We can do that you know. When you got him stiff, climb on. I assure you, he will last longer the second time :)

[louiseee]

He doesn't recover that fast.

[phonezoo]

Try getting on top and seeing how long he lasts. Also, he should try some exercises that will help with his stamina (it might be uncomfortable at first but as he does it more and more, it'll be more comfortable)

[louiseee]

It's fastest when I am on top.

[phonezoo]

Try doggie style?

[louiseee]

Still fast.. any position is 2 minutes or under the first go.

[phonezoo]

Oh

[Anonymous]

Help him get better at it... Make him go slower and work on thought technique and learn to control himself - there are muscles you can tense too I've heard, but I don't know since this is not much of an issue for me

[louiseee]

I'll go to google.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised you actually managed to get a guy, who is that sore loser?

[louiseee]

Wow, excuse me? You couldn't bother to say that without making yourself anonymous? Ballsy.

[mattiee]

shes very cute actually

[louiseee]

Ha, thanks. This anon is just a typical guy scared to show his face cause he is probably ugly, but is bored so he is attempting to hurt my feelings. I get these a lot.