He says I suck in bed?

[Anonymous]

We've been in a relationship for a couple years but recently my boyfriend has been putting me down and making some subtle and some obvious comments about how I'm horrid in bed. I've been with a few other people before our relationship and after our relationships ended I asked and they all said I was either good or awesome. And my current boyfriend has never had a problem with me before... just lately. I'm not doing anything drastically different. we're doing the usual positions and some new ones we want to try. I don't understand why he's putting me down all of a sudden. How can I get over this and get my self esteem back? I can't even enjoy sex because I feel so down on myself - that's all I can think about. How do I get over this?

[releberh]

Maybe he feels the sex is not as great and is trying to suggest what to do. However, people have a problem critiquing themselves, and it is probably easier for him to lay all the blame on you and give suggestions to you. Ask him how you can improve and tell him that it hurts you when he says this. If he continues, quit having sex with him. Make an effort with whatever he suggests, as long as you are comfortable with it. That being said, he should know better than to say hurtful things.

Just because he says this doesn't mean he is having an affair. Just be careful because he could be.

Have a serious conversation about why it sucks. That being said, maybe he just watches porn too much or something. Be open to new ideas, but don't let him belittle you and insult/hurt you. I really doubt a party that has been together a while, can have one person suddenly start 'sucking' at it. It takes two to have sex, so he should be partly at fault as well.

[ILoveElijah]

Wow! How could he say that?

That's so rude!

Why don't you try like a different foreplay approach?

Like a heavy make out session and then starting things off by doing the cow girl position?

[Asker]

Cow girl and making out is neither new or different. but thanks for the suggestion

[whoppers12]

ask him what can you do to improve it?

ask him what's changed

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry he is doing this to you. I had an affair with a married woman and her husband took her to a "sex therapist" because he said she wasn't good. I strongly disagreed. A lot. For ten years.

Just a guess, but an educated guess: he is having an affair. Comparing you with another girl makes him feel better about it.

I'm so sorry.

[Asker]

So he's cheating on me because I suck in bed?

[Opinion Owner]

No: because he is cheating on you, he says mean things to justify his actions. Feel free to text me. dan_I_am

[setcheck67]

Sounds like he is having some problems with his life at the moment. I think your best bet is to try and talk to him about it.

[And-Once-I-Was-Human]

i doubt it's actually something you're doing. if you're being enthusiastic and trying then you're more than likely fine. has something been bothering him lately? it sounds like he's probably taking whatever's wrong with him out on you.