Help! He can't make me come!

[ger9a2]

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 weeks now, and we only see each other on the weekends so we usually pack them full of quality together time, if you know what I mean. We're both 22, but he's my first boyfriend, and first sexual experience. Although we haven't had sex, we do oral and stuff with hands. I've never received oral or been fingered before, so I don't know what to compare it to, but he can't make me orgasm. Most of the time, it doesn't even feel good, just really indifferent. He wants me to feel good, and so do I (and be repaid for all the oral I've given him) but he's tried a lot and it hasn't happened. It's hard for me to tell him what I want, because I don't know too well either. I masturbate, but I still don't know exactly how I like it, if that makes sense. He's asked me to masturbate in front of him, but I'm too embarrassed. My technique on myself is pretty dumb and involves constant clit-action and I'd feel so weird with him watching, I probably wouldn't be able to make myself come. Which would only be MORE embarrassing! I do really like him, and I'm ready for this. I am really self-conscious though. And I don't seem to be very sensitive at all lol. So my questions are: GUYS - What techniques do you typically use when pleasuring a woman (other than intercourse)? What are your feelings about going down on a girl in general? GIRLS - Have you ever had this problem? If so, were you able to do something about it and finally come?

[kittmorris777]

Yes, I have been there. Get a vibrator! You have to realize that every body just like every person will react differently to different stimuli. What makes one person angry will make another sad or even laugh. Your body is like that. I have known women who could come with just intercourse, women that can come just by water running on they're clit... I'm jealous really but I have come to except what is comfortable and what works for me just as I am sure they had to. But it sounds to me like you have the same problem I had once, you just don't know what feels good... so get your happy ass to a sex shop, preferably a nice one and not a creepy hole in the wall, I have a store called Fascinations here and the people there are very open, helpful and professional! Don't be embarrassed to tell them of your plight so they can suggest what products you may want to try. Take home your new things and give them a few try's on yourself alone and if you find something your comfortable with don't be embarrassed to share with your boyfriend. For me it is clitoral stimulation, a vibrator is the only way I get off that feels comfortable for me, I don't dig that oral stuff.

[LadyRayne]

I had this exact same problem. It's kind of creepy because it's the same to the tee. It took a long time for us to get past it. Eventually I came when he tried this technique. At first he touched everything except for my clit. He just went real slow, and staying away from it. That got my really hot because he wasn't doing what I really wanted him to. When he finally did it was really good, because it took me by surprise. It still took a while for me to come but it worked. After the first time it got better and easier for my to come. I think a lot of the reason it's so hard at first is down to nerves and that it's a feeling your not really used to.

Hope it works out for you two!

[1991isa]

After time he will get better at it try to wear a sexy lingerie that might help

[Anonymous]

Tell him you need constant attention to your clit then.. as you stated..

"My technique on myself is pretty dumb and involves constant clit-action"

see what happens.. just have him maybe try.. this.. have him put his hand on your vagina fingers pointing away from your belly button.. his two middle fingers "or one" whichever into you.. and then like in a rubbing and fingering like motion.. .. this way his palm can be rubbing your clit.. and his fingers or finger is penetrating you. :)

Or some variation of that.. good luck. :]

[TheAnswerer]

Make your boyfriend watch these videos:

(They are fingering techniques. How to finger A-Spot, G-Spot and C-Spot. The definitons and locations of these erogenous zones are also given.)

Links:

A-Spot: link

C-Spot: link

G-Spot: link

[TheAnswerer]

Since you probably haven't stimulated your A-Spot and G-Spot (since you said you only stimulate your clitoris (C-Spot)), thesse two new erogenous zones will make you feel more pleasure and will make you reach orgasm easier.

[nomandik]

I bet you I can make you come and I would just give you a hour worth of massage and then I would focus on that vagina for another hour you will come I guarantee it

[cosmopolitan]

i have great tips and I can make you orgasm now also ...

when you have sex or Oral just imagine you been F***k by your most favarate star..or when he put his finger in your vagina.. think its tom cruse finger...or imagine you been F*** by 2 man at a time ...this imagination will make you feel good to Organ...make your self blinffold and make him touch when he like ..as you will not know where he move next it will make ur heart beat fast knowing what he will do ...have him play with some ice cube our ur breast and make ur nipple hard ..and make it suck...put your and your boyfriend finger in your vagina..or you can make organ saying that you want to see some aduld movies with him ..