Help! My boyfriend has a black girl fetish?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm the only white girl he has ever dated and he only watches interracial p*rn meaning white guy/ black girl. he loves their skin tone on his, their curves, he says they age a lot better, have better bodies/looking vaginas and are better in bed. I'm blond haired, brown eyes, slim and attractive but everywhere he goes he only looks at black women and I feel threatened by them. what can I do?
Updates:
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UPDATE: this is not to bash black women and I don't want anyone commenting if that's what they are here for. this is also a serious question. I feel as if I am a try out girl for him before he goes back to them even if it has been 3 years or not. repeat do NOT comment if you are here for racial comments!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You should not feel any doubts, you guys have been dating for 3 years! That is a long time, if he wanted anyone else he would be with them, but he chose you; focus on that thought for a moment. Now consider the truth, in America, who do you see on a lot of commercials, tv shows portrayed as a normal (not exotic) standard beauty. African American men watch these portrays and African American women have to be okay with it and just know that their boyfriend chose them. And when a gorgeous blonde walks in front of her boyfriend she has to be calm and remember that he is with her not the blonde woman. Same vise versa, you might be seeing it as more than it is. Men just look at all women and I am sure if you pay close attention he is looking at white women as well. But he is just looking, as humans do because we have eyes. But he is with you, he chose you and that should be all that matters at the end of the day. These doubts only lead to divides, so do not doubt his love for you.

  • theres nothing you can do unless you have complete control over him or if you can magically switch bodies

    talk to him about it! tell him it makes you uncomfortable D: I mean he's been with you or 3 years. and he's been banging you and getting boners. if he wasn't attracted, it wouldn't even go up in the first place!

    the more you think about it the more upsetting it is :/ everyone has a fantasy! do the p*rn you watch look like your bf? no right? not all of them at least...

    why would he waste his time and fight with you if he didn't like you

    you being upset doesn't help...thats who he is!

  • I feel like this is a troll post just so you can see guys bash on black women, because if you're allowed to post in Sexuality obviously you've been here long enough to know the very common anti-black sentiment

    You obviously know guys on here tend to not like blacks in general and want it reaffirmed that white women are considered better than them

    Anyways, I personally would be turned off if a guy told me he had a black/white/asian/latino fetish. Preference is one thing, but fetish just implies it's sexual, purely sexual

    • as I stated above this is not a troll question. read above what I said. I have always felt threatened by them. I feel as if he is just trying me out before he goes to them. 3 years is a long time to be with someone and I don't want to be his tryout girl. I also am not trying to bash black women and I will update that

    • If you've been together 3 years, it's SAFE to say you aren't something he's just experimenting with. A preference doesn't necessarily mean a must. I lovelovelove girls with black hair, but I won't exclude blond or redheads because of it I lovelovelove redhead guys(gingers!) but I won't exclude brunettes Just don't take a preference too seriously If he's being an ass about it, tell him it bothers you and hurts your feelings for him to inappropriately comment on other women.

    • But don't attack him for his preference or attack him for how he makes you feel. Make it more about you, that way he won't shut down. "When you say XYZ, it makes me feel ABC" You get your point across without offending him or making him feel like a jerk(even if he's acting like one towards you). Be specific. If he's ogling other chicks, let him know that bothers you or he should be more discreet

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Let's boil this down to the core: he CHOSE *YOU*. He's had 3 years to leave you for a black girl, and he hasn't done it, which means, every day, he's STILL choosing you. Either that fact is enough for you to stop being insecure, or it isn't. And if it isn't, the only answer is to break up with him.

    So, YOU have to decide: are his ACTIONS in choosing you and staying with you, DESPITE his physical preferences (which means he likes you even more), enough for you to be secure? When you can give an HONEST "yes" or "no", then you'll know what you need to do.

  • Why did you get with him in the first place then... its pretty hard to change a natural attraction if that's his thing, I don't think he will change it sorry

    • yeah I agree. that's why I'm worried. he also didn't tell me until we were dating for a few months and then I really liked him

    • I'm sorry, it depends how strict he is with his preference but if you care for a long term relationship I wouldn't recommend it if this will always be in the back of your head

    • lol I kinda can't stand you at times even though you are a nice guy and I must admit that this is the best answer and had to give you a thmbs up. nice answer man.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 6
  • If he wants to be with you, he wants to be with you. Maybe you're the exception.

    If you get a huge vibe that you're a "try out" girl, dump him.

    Don't be threatened by other girls. He's with you, leave it at that. If he acts inappropriately, then ask him to stop. If he doesn't, dump him.

  • You like what you like and I think you are lucky to of kept him this long. Give g-daz best answer. He deserves it.

  • It's been three years, I wouldn't worry about it.

  • You can do nothing! Men tend to ask what they do not have, it is inevitable! If you were black he would look after blond girls. Looking DOES NOT mean that he will cheat on you! All men look around even if they have the best super model as girlfriend. How it will end I do not know it depends on what kind of person is he. He might cheat you in the end with a black girl and then he might just forget about it.

  • Wow, thanks for expressing your genuine insecurity issue without degrading black women :) Kuds to you!

    Don't compare yourself to them! All women can be beautiful :)

  • You better tan the shxt out of your self and pull a nicki minaj and put implant in your ass.

    Seriously all jokes aside tho my boyfriend is white and I'm black and he looks at p*rn that's all white and he's with me and loves me. He's been with with white girls before me and I'm the only black girl he's ever been with. there's nothing you can do but either wait for him to leave or talk to him about it or you leave. You can't do anything about his preferences. Its not a fetish its just preference.

  • I think a female of any ethnicity would feel threatened by another woman who her guy is attracted to. I wouldn't worry too much about it though, he has been with you for three years, having fantacies about others doesn't mean that he would carry them out. And for the guy who made the roast beef comment, how would you like it if someone said that white women vaginas looks like raw pork, or a raw turkey ready to be stuffed? Not very nice is it? have a bit of respect for other people!

  • First of all, he has been with you for three years and that is a BIG deal. If he did not really care about you and was not attracted to you, it would not have lasted that long. Those things you mentioned that he believes to be better are his perceptions. This is not a bash, but I think black girl vagina looks like roast beef. Everyone has their oddities and things that they find more exciting sexually. What you can do if you are afraid of the situation, watch the black females in p*rn. Watch it, study it a bit, and try to make the way they have sex your own. You would probably blow is mind and make him really impressed. But bottom line, I don't think you are just a 'try out', before he goes back to another black girl. BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF!

    Good luck!

    • Earthworm, maggot cock!

  • He has been with you for three years that is a long time for what you call a try out girl. He obviously cares bout you, he obviously is attracted to you. Show some self confidence.

  • You have never watched interracial p*rn?

    Anyway, he's with you and has been for 3 years, so...

  • You know what you're hoping to do with a question like this. Trolol.

    Anyways..he's already with you. You must've been a really special cracker for him to forgo his jungle fever.

    • ^yep

    • this is not a troll question.. I have always felt threatened even from the beginning. he told me before he has never dated a white girl and I'm his first. I feel as if I can't compare or he will leave me for what he wants. I feel as if I'm his "try out" girl before he goes back

    • Nobody 'tries out' a p**** for 3 years. If you had been together a few months? Okay, more believable. Go get a snookie tan and feel better I guess.

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