Sexual Health
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Herpes: Maybe not the worst thing ever?

I saw this myTake by @Ozanne titled "How to Talk About Herpes with Your Partner"

However, after reading the comments, I feel that people could use a little more education about what herpes actually is, so this is a guide to teach people why herpes isn't necessarily all that horrible.

Herpes: Maybe not the worst thing ever?

As a lot of people know, herpes is a very common virus which about 20% of people are infected with. Understandably, it has a very negative stigma surrounding it, but before you immediately call things off with the cute girl/guy you just started dating that just confided in you that they are infected, you should find out some more details, because it probably isn't as bad as you think, and the fact that they were honest with you up front means they are probably relationship material.

So the first thing to know is there are 2 types of herpes, cleverly named: Type 1 and Type 2.

Type 1 primarily resides in a person's head.....literally. If you see someone with "cold sores," that is herpes and it's more than likely type 1. A person could easily be infected with this as a child (this not uncommon), so it doesn't even have to be sexually transmitted.

Type 1 can also inhabit the genitals. This usually happens when someone with a "cold sore" outbreak performs oral sex on their partner. However, as it is not as strong there, a person with genital type 1 herpes will typically experience very few outbreaks (and possibly none at all).

Type 2 is usually found in the genital area, and it most likely will reoccur on the genitals throughout the infected person's life (although there are medications to help treat the outbreaks of both types). It is basically the opposite of type 1, so it can appear in a person's head, but it will not be as strong.

Now, let's discuss contraction of the virus, which is what most people are scared (and ignorant) of. As I said, the two types have evolved to be stronger in a particular area of the body, and if they are not there, they are considerably weaker. This means they also have a lower chance of being contracted.

For example, if a person has type 1 herpes but it's in their genitals, their partner would have a higher chance of contracting it with their mouth than with their own genitals (although both chances would be lower than if it was type 2 in their genitals as that is where type 2 is stronger). If someone with type 1 in their head kissed someone, there is a higher chance that it would be transmitted, and this is what leads to most people getting cold sores.

Another consideration to take in is whether there is an outbreak or not. Obviously, the chances of contracting herpes is very high when an outbreak occurs, so you shouldn't have contact with any part of the body with an outbreak. When there is no outbreak, the chances of contracting it are, again, considerably lower. In fact, it is impossible to contract unless the person with herpes is undergoing "viral shedding" which is an invisible process that occurs around 1-2 days per month. It's obviously not as strong as during an outbreak, but the possibility of contraction is still there.

A final consideration is your gender. Girls contract STDs more easily than guys. You probably already know that, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to throw it in there.

Add all of that together with condoms, and in many instances, the odds of contraction if you are careful are almost 0%. I have heard of many couples (both online and in real life) that have been together for years with one person having herpes and never giving it to their partner. Most contractions happen when one or both partners are unaware.

So hopefully you have learned something, and now, if someone tells you they have herpes you'll be better equiped to deal with the situation, rather than just running for the hills. A cute girl whose biggest baggage is the type 1 genital herpes she got from her ex that didn't tell her he had it is definitely a catch that most uneducated guys would throw away, but now you shouldn't be afraid to scoop her up and give her the love she deserves.

Herpes: Maybe not the worst thing ever?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Good myTake. :) Thanks for reading mine. I think a lot of peer pressure-y needs to make jokes about herpes is what causes a lot of people to become so misinformed. Sure, many people like to think they're so careful, but it never always cuts it, as there will always be a lover not being truthful, or a lover that doesn't know they have (type 2) which they inadvertently pass on to you.

    The bigger problem with herpes is the social stigma and how it hurts a couple's trust in each other more than the virus will itself.

    • Thank you! Yes, I totally agree. I know someone with herpes and whenever I hear a herpes joke, I feel so bad because I immediately put myself in their shoes and I just imagine it to be the worst feeling. So I'm hoping this take will inform people to help get rid of the stigma and maybe help people deal with explaining it to their partners, along with your take :)

    • Yes, herpes jokes are childish. You never know who you're talking to. Who's to say the person you're joking with may or may not have it. People with herpes don't go around advertising it to friends. I hear them and just let it roll off my back, as I do jokes about AIDS, anorexia, and other diseases or problems people go through. I just hope my reaction to not react is setting an example.

    • You never know if it's type 1 or type 2, you need a medical check to find out. "Sure, many people like to think they're so careful, but it never always cuts it" ... yes, I that is why I as a Christian is pleased to not having sex before marriage. If everybody lived like that, then STD would be over and done with.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry but I have no intention of getting herpes when I am clean, or letting myself get infected, regardless of how she may have gotten it.

    • I met a good friend in a therapy group for people who were abused. He contracted herpes and his fiancé never got it. They’ve been married 11 years and still she doesn’t. He just takes meds I guess and refrains from contact during an outbreak. I didn’t believe him, tbh. I did some research and if what he’s say is true, there’s less than a 1% chance she will get it. I’m clean. But if I loved someone enough and they were abused and were careful, I’d be with them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Great MyTake. I'm happy I read it, you educated me on herpes :)

    • Yay! :D

    • I see the topic went... viral... *sunglasses* Yeeeeaaaaahhh!!

    • haha, you're so cool. @OrdinaryGentleman

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  • Interesting. I still wouldn't date someone with an STD or STI.

    • same here

    • I understand that that is still going to be most people's initial reaction after reading this, but if you are dating someone that you really like and possibly love and then, before you have had sex (or at some point after if they didn't know themselves and suddenly had their first outbreak), they tell you they have herpes, it's not going to be that easy of a decision. You're going to be extremely upset and probably will have no idea how to handle the situation. You should probably break up with them. I mean what if you caught it and later broke up? But what if they are the one? They seem so perfect. Would you regret it? Is herpes that big of a deal? Would them having herpes even matter if you ended up marrying them? If you continued dating, how would it affect your sex life and relationship? By writing this article, I am hoping that anyone in this situation will either find this or will have already read it, and hopefully being more informed will help them make the decision.

    • Same here too!

  • Well... Everywhere we go or touch something. Whether it be money or a plan toilet door knob... We still run in the risks of being affected. Hsv-1 outbreaks occur only if you constantly suppress your immune system with more pills when not allowing the body to heal on its own. Outbreaks cannot occur if your immune system is strong.

  • Many people, including me, say we'd never date someone with an STD but how often do we stop before sex and demand an STD test from the person you are about to sleep with?

    • That's why STD's and STI's spread so much. Not enough people use protection or bother getting tested.

  • Yeah I'll just continue to not have herpes and not spread it around no matter how dormant it is because it's a god damn virus and is gross.

    • you probably have it already

    • @skeptic007 I have neither HSV-1 nor HSV-2; I don't get coldsores, nor have I ever had an outbreak in my life. Cheers for the 'substantial' input, though.

    • have you ever kissed anyone doesn't matter family friends girlfriend cause they probably have it and they kissed you which is why I said you most likely have it

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  • Thank you for that article.
    Since Im a baby I have herpes 1 in the head, I contract it at the hospital actually.
    I always been (and im still) so ashamed of it. When I have one I usually never go out. I never know how to talk about it because for some people its like having aids like if its going to kill you.
    I have friends that have it also but that doesn't care about it. I dont why I still can't talk about it openly, I find it more easy to talk about it with girls, maybe because with boys I have fear of rejection due to that. But I think talking about it more is good cause I can see that a lot of people also have it and that they dont care having it that much or at least that they are not ashamed of it.

  • Yeah statistically speaking if you've ever kissed someone you more than likely have HSV-1. Most contractions do occur when there is no visible outbreak. Most people that are saying they won't date someone that has it probably already has it themselves unless they've never kissed anyone or had parents that simply passed it down to them because their parents more than likely has it.

  • For herpes treatment a limited number of drugs is only appropriate. In addition to the antiviral agents, painkillers are sometimes used against herpes. Here you can find out everything you need to know about herpes therapy.

    These drugs are used by default against various types of herpes and are also used for other viral diseases. There are also other active ingredients that can be used for herpes , but these only affect the symptoms and not the so called virus.

    the active ingredients used include acyclovir , valaciclovir, ganciclovir, valganciclovir and penciclovir. Medicines that destroy viruses would be called virucides, but such preparations do not yet exist. All of these active ingredients are so-called antivirals, which means that they cannot destroy the viruses, but only prevent them from multiplying. Brivudine is another preparation that can be used to treat herpes, as is zinc sulfate. There There are several antiviral drugs that are approved for treating herpes. If resistance to these agents occurs, Foscarnet can be given as an alternative. However, they almost all have the same mechanism of action. Most active ingredient names end with "-ciclovir".

    The The best way to at least accelerate healing is to start therapy as early as possible. This is the best time to start herpes drug treatment. Some patients even report that they can prevent the outbreak of herpes in this way. Those affected who suffer from herpes reactivations often have a feeling for the first symptoms of an impending outbreak of the disease. If there are unpleasant sensations, itching or pain in the affected area, you already know that it will not be long before the first fluid-filled blisters appear. The fact that only early use of antivirals has a significant effect on the course of the disease is explained by the way these drugs work: They can only prevent the virus from multiplying, but cannot destroy "finished" viruses.

    At best, they shorten the duration of the illness and alleviate the symptoms, but they do not offer reliable, quick help with herpes. Unfortunately, the currently known active ingredients for herpes treatment do not work miracles. What What to do with herpes?” Asks everyone who has ever become acquainted with the annoying blisters and of course you want to get rid of the herpes quickly.

    luckily a friend of mine, got rid of this herpes virus quickly than other drugs prevailed in the market. now he is doing good, if your interested in knowing more about this DM me

  • Good take but i still prefer not taking the risk of catching... it when i am free from all types of STD... or STI

  • no. just, no, lol. if i was smart and careful and stayed clean, i'm not going to ruin that for one girl, when there are hundreds more where she came from.

    • Yeah, well that's your plan, but sometimes love will make your brain do irrational things, so if you meet the perfect girl, hopefully now you know it may not even be that risky to take a chance on her.

    • the perfect girl won't have herpes haha

    • I have to agree with @RationalMale on this one, I'll pass on any girl who is not decease free. She can be a friend, but not my wife.

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  • "there are 2 types of herpes, cleverly named: Type 1 and Type 2"

    Correction, there are here are 2 types of herpes simplex, but there 8 type of herpes virus all together that can infect humans.

    read:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpesviridae

    • Obviously this article is about the two STD strains. No point in adding superfluous information.

    • I was adding information, that shouldn't be a problem I should think.

    • It's just not necessary. There's already a lot of information here, so I don't want to potentially confuse people and make them think there are 6 other types I didn't talk about. With articles like this, you want to try to make them as concise as possible.

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  • 90% of the US population has herpes maybe even 95% most get it when there kids

    • That's not comforting data lol.

    • its simple basically if you have had a cold sore guess what its in you're body there's not a single person I know that hasn't had one and if they haven't gotten it they'll get it when there older

    • Most people don't show symptoms, sucks when you're a kid and don't know what a cold sore is and then find out as an adult that you were born with herpes. I swear though, these ignorant people use to make me laugh, now they just make me sad.

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