Sexual Health
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How can I compromise with my boyfriend with oral sex

We've been together for several months now, and he likes me cleanly shaven, but sometimes I don't want to shave completely and he refuses to perform oral sex on me even if the hairs are growing just a little. The thing is, I don't want to shave all the time because I hate getting nicks and I always have to wait for them to heal. I love performing on him, but would want him to shave as well, but he refuses to. Yet if it's just a little hair, it doesn't bug me because I'd mainly be concerned about pleasing him. I just think it's unfair that he wants me to be shaved at all times yet he won't do the same for me. Also, he just told me he won't have regular sex with me now unless he gets to do anal and I don't really like anal. WTF? Anyhow, I'm not sure what to do. Never had this problem with any boyfriend before. Thanks.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Yeah sorry but your Boyfriend sounds like a total douche. Again, it amazing me that girls dont' turn around and walk out the door with seconds of hearing such statements.

    He can have a preference for you to shave. That's not the problem. The problem is he is demanding it, and it not practicing what he preaches, which is selfish. If he wants you to shave for him, than he should too, or at least do some grooming.

    The anal sex part is especially bigoted. Forcing someone to do any sexual act against their will, whether through physical, mental, emotional, or any other sort of manipulation or blackmail is wrong. Completely wrong. A respectful Boyfriend would ask for anal, and if you refused would drop it, or at the very least offer a compromise like "how about if you do anal one time, I'll do this for you".

    Personally you should break up with this completely d***, but since I don't think that's the answer you are looking for, come up with a compromise. Ask if he would be OK with trimming it (especially keep the hair away from the labia where his mouth with go, above the clitoris on the pubic bone isn't as bad). As for the anal, do the same thing. Say you are willing to try it, but if you don't like it your not doing it again. Also maybe offer he let you try something sexual you he doesn't really like.

  • What I find annoying is that he wants you to meet his needs, but isn't willing to do much to meet yours.

    If you like oral and don't like shaving all the time, a giving partner would deal with it.

    If he likes anal a lot, and you don't want to, yeah, that could be a big issue.

    I don't know, different people give and expect different amounts.

    When I was young, I gave a lot, expected little.

    If I were single again, I'd be willing to do a LOT but I'd expect a lot back, and move on if I didn't get it.

    • You're right, thank you!

Most Helpful Girls

  • he sounds like a complete douche bag, insensitive, a**hole, self centered, d***face, just freakin dump him already he doesn't deserve you

    its fine if a guy has kinks and fetishes and its fine if he wants to do it witg you but he has absolutely no right to force it on you, if you don't like it you should tell him to fck off, its your body you own your self he doesn't own you, and he's just garbage as far as I'm concerned, if he doesn't like that he can leave, I sure as hell would

    i'd fckn castrate him in the way out and throw his filthy dck to starving hungry really pissed off wolves and his balls thousands of bloodsucking leeches until the scrotum implodes and the rest of him overboard in the middle of the freezing atlantic ocean while he's soaked in gasoline while bleeding to death

    (being soaked in gasoline in a very cold place robs all the heat off your body as the gas evaporates and is a lot more lethal if the victim is bleeding or as been amputated, basically its like liquid nitrogen but unlike liquid nitrogen it needs a very cold environment to work thus the atlantic ocean, the himalayas would work too, other substitutes include argon, liquid methane, LPG, ammonia and liquid oxygen)

    • pls ignore the majority of this, this isn't my usual gibberish its a hate rant/flame, just ignore it pls, thnx

    • You want it removed?

    • the second sentence was the real answer the rest is flaming, if gm's can edit it sure, if not nvrmind

    • Show All

  • sounds like a complete jerk. If he cared for you at all he would care about your needs and the fact that you have issues shaving it everyday and he would Compromise!

    I don't know what to say other than you need to tell him to f off. and find someone who shows you respect. GL

    • Yea, I totally feel deprived! Thank you for helping me!

  • Do what YOU want. If he won't trim for you then don't go down on him. Show him what it feels like. Its pretty immature to be 30-35 or up and not go down on someone due to hair. My boyfriend doesn't give a crap if I'm hairy or not it won't stop him.

    • Oh your lucky! lol I've had bfs in the past that didn't care but this one is a tough case. Thanks for the encouragement! :D

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 6

  • Why is he the one controlling the sex? Pussy is power. Take your power back from him.

    • Haha, for sure! P-power all the way! lol

    • If he threatens to take sex away you do it for him. Try it and see what happens. It might snap some sense into the man. You never know. p.s. I'm actually against withholding sex. If I'm going to be forced into a monogamous relationship it better be all you can eat.

    • Thank you! This helps me a lot. Didn't know what to do before, but now I have some good answers here :)

  • he sounds like a douche, but you can get a brazilian wax if you want to please him so much.

    • That can be an option. Thanks!

    • I'm the same way as her BF, but I agree with this answer about the wax. It'll last longer and you don't have to worry about nicks. You can even do it yourself at home.

  • I think it's time to find someone who is more suited to your style of play.

    • I've been thinking about this, thank you!

  • sounds to me like he's controlling and uncompromising. Seems to me you are getting a glimpse into his true nature. If he is so bothered by the tiniest bit of hair but can't see your perspective as well he is clearly not one willing to compromise or see things from a different perspective...right now it's something as simple as shaving but relationships are about compromise so what will happen when it's a bigger issue that he is unwilling to bend on

    Tell him that he has to be willing to compromise or you don't see a future with him.

    • That's what I've been thinking (concerning his true nature). This relationship is still young and I'm already seeing these signs. Thanks so much! :)

  • He sounds extremely selfish. Especially if you've explained to him as to why you don't shave all the time. Way I see it is that he could care less if you're having discomfort as long as you're doing what he wants in order to give you pleasure. His way or none at all. Sound about right? time for a new boyfriend as this just may give you an insight to how he truly feels about you. Look, if you came to me and said I hurt sometimes if I shave the last thing I'd say to you back is I won't go down on you until you do. WTH? there are all kinds of ways around the little sh*t beside just refusing. This boyfriend needs to check himself. Good luck.

  • This guy sounds like a controlling a**hole. You're foolish to put up with it.

    • Errr, your right.

    • Supposedly after I got upset, he said he was joking about not giving me vag sex unless I give him anal. Do you think that underneath he's being serious?

    • Aside from the anal thing. The whole shave thing is controlling. Listen, I like clean shaven. I like a landing strip. But I also know what a PITA the daily maintenance can be, and I'm man enough to still go down on a girl if she's not completely bald. The idea of oral is giving the other person pleasure.

    • Show All

  • I'm sorry but he sounds like a a**hole. I would tell him he needs to be cleanly shaven every time too if he wants oral to be fair and no one can force me to do anal or any sexual act if I don't want to, period.

    • Thank you! I'm so glad practically everyone knows where I'm coming from! :)

  • real niggas don't let hair or no anal keep them from p**** lol he needs to get his life and mind right.

    • Haha for sure! Thanx!

    • youre welcome:)

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