How can I help un-traumatize him?

[Anonymous]

i traumatized him on accident. when we had sex the first time it was his first first time, he had a great time I had a great time blah blah blah after we slept and at 7am my dad barged in my room to tell me something and noticed a boy in my bed. [my dad is a very calm guy] so in a stern voice told the young man to please leave and for me to meet my dad in the kitchen. dad said that boys are not to be in my room over night and that's its disrespectful. anyways like after my 2 minute lecture I walk back to my room and my poor young man lol is sitting on my bed like with the most shocked look on his face. =[ now he came over again and he is so good to me. we did not have sex because he was scared I showed him all the extra precautions I took for tonight but he was just too scared. he is really a great guy and I feel SO bad. how can I help un-traumatize him? =[ or at least help lessen the damage =[

[John-Bee]

I would say that you most definitely need to find another place. I'm surprised that even with all the extra precautions that you have taken that you could relax. Your dad will probably be listening & checking. If this was me & that had happened, there is NO WAY that I could even get it up or have a good time for fear of being caught again.

Car sex isn't that much fun or comfortable but I read where you both are working. Can you afford an inexpensive but clean & safe Motel room once or twice a month? Where do you go the other times? How about a friend(s) that have their own place?

I'm sure that he will be OK but even if your Dad is at work & it's the middle of the day I doubt that he will ever feel comfortable there again.

As far as your Dad goes, he sounds pretty cool but as the old saying goes "as long as your under his roof!"

[motocat]

You need to find a place outside of your dad's house. It is his house, not your own private sex den! If you don't have the resources top find another place -- you are to young to be doing this. Get a job, then a nice room. If sex is so great to you, you should be willing to make some effort to have your own private place.

[Asker]

Do you think this will help him also feel more comfortable?

[Asker]

And fyi we both have jobs(<plural) and both have cars and we are 19 and 20 we are not that young

[motocat]

Duh?!?! Of course!

[stercor]

Thank goodness he has the fortitude to come back! Your dad is right; you shouldn't entertain men in your room.

It's really hard to unscramble eggs. You can't do anything to un-traumatize him. That's an inside job. If you try too hard, he'll sense that and be more uptight. Just be patient and understanding. That helps more than anything.

Ted

[Clair]

whats wrong with his place?

[MrWizard]

I wouldn't attempt to do anything remotely physical at your place. No way to completely relax there again. He will probably take some time to get used to even being around your dad too. Take it slow. Only try something when he is comfortable. How about a hotel, his place, or out in nature WAY far from other people?

[l-hedoniste]

Avoid overnight sleepovers. He'll heal.