How common is it for teens to have such thoughts/feelings?

[Anonymous]

Do any of you have experience with feeling (sexually) attracted to close family members? If so, what did you do about it? How did you deal with it? Care to share any of yourself's or someone else's experiences? I'm curious about this... And please no moral judgings about how "wrong" and "disgusting" this is, that's not useful at all and not what this question is about. Thanks.

[ElijahCynicism]

It is very normal, yes, while few admit to it. It's a thing that is - or was during the time of Freud - referred to as the Oedipus Complex, where a teenage boy wants to sleep with his mother, it's most common towards the parent but I think it's fairly common towards siblings and so on, too.

I had it, yeah. Pretty badly. What's shocking about it is it takes someone who is not prone to incest. If you are prone to incest then it's sort of incosequential, but for someone who isn't, it's quite an unnerving experience. It initially happened with me towards my auntie for a short spell in my childhood, but that's a whoooole other can of worms - as a teenager it happened with me towards my mother. I'd become verryyy sexually driven towards my mother.

How I would deal with it... Well, I'm generally quite accepting and moderate in nature, and I have friends who are in incestuous relationships and so on, so it's not something that I had to deal with morally, so I accepted it quite well. From there I just masturbated over her frequently, occassionally tried to watch her change and I'd initiate ticklefights with her - she's not aware I have a fetish for tickling, ahahah. The whole experience lasted about four or five months, I think. Since then, we've actually become much closer, and I harbour a theory that masturbating over your family has emotional benefits, but I haven't really researched it, ahahaha. 'Cos now that I'm not in that zone I'd be icked out by it.

Other peoples experiences... Don't know any off hand. As I said, few admit to it, it's a very hard thing for someone who isn't like me to admit to, ahaha. I have heard cases mothers, though - sometimes their children came out to them about it, some of them tried to actually touch them and initiate. There was a case on here a while ago about a guy grabbing his mothers ass, asked by the mother. I've heard of some sibling cases, too, but less frequently, most of them were worried and just ignored it, some of them ended up experimenting, but I think they were given to incest without knowing it. Different people deal with it differently, I think it's most common for people to try and supress it or be disturbed by it, some people will feel guilty, some people will let themselves behave eratically, and I think some very few people, like me, actually enjoy it, ahaha.

[Asker]

Wow, very intersting answer!

[ElijahCynicism]

Thanks ^^

[ThatBritishLad]

Ah! That's it, much obliged :P (I forgot what it was called ^^;)

[ElijahCynicism]

Hahah, you're welcome

[Asker]

The oedipus complex is considered completely untrue and irrelevant by today's psychologists, just so you guys know.

[ElijahCynicism]

No it isn't.

[Asker]

Ask any serious psychologist, he/she will tell you Freud's theory is considered bullsh*t.

[ElijahCynicism]

Most serious psychologists see it as a theory that a lot of very important subsequent modules for looking at the development of sexuality have derived. No serious psychologist denounces the overwhelming importance of Freud. That is for Armchair Scientists.

[Asker]

I never said that. Freud is still considered one of the most groundbreaking psychoanalysists of all time. But some of his theories are considered outdated nonsense.

[ElijahCynicism]

I disagree that any of his theories are nonsense, least of all the Oedipus Complex.

[Asker]

Then you disagree with today's psychology's researches. He seriously believe SUX year old boys want to have actual sex with their mothers. If he was talking about teens or at least pre-teens, then OK. But little kids? Oh please. They do have hidden sexual feelings yet, but none like the actual desire to have sex with anyone. And he also said they fear their father's thread to castrate them, and by identifying with their rival (the father) they lose their sexual interest in their mother.

[Asker]

And you seriously believe that's what most 5-6 year old boys experience? lol

[ElijahCynicism]

Subconscious.

[Asker]

Wow, I just met the one person who knows better than the rest of most psychologists today.

[ElijahCynicism]

Coming from some incestuous harlot like you, *really*

[Asker]

Just like you... :)

[ElijahCynicism]

Say, what's with all the pork in here?

[Asker]

Tell me about it.

[Blubb]

I had my very first ejaculation/orgasm when I was around 13-14, while play wrestling with my mom. I was feeling very aroused already during the whole time wrestling her, and even though I felt very weird about it of course, I was so horny (NEVER have had an orgasm before at that pint, mind you!) that I just couldn't help it and didn't want to stop, so I kept wrestling her.

Anyway, at one point I was on the ground on my back and my mom was pinning me down by my arms/hands and was sitting right on my crotch. And while she was pinning down my arms left and right to my head, she kept teasing me telling me to give up the fight and admit she had won, and since I struggled a little (though not too much, I didn't seriously want to escape) it made her butt move around on my crotch a little, rubbing over my boner. Well, and so it happened eventually...I shot my very first load of my life rigth there into my pajama pants! It was very intense and felt like it lasted forever...haha.

And well, after that I had a phase where I jerked off to her regularly, because the memory of what had happened just turned me on too much. It eventually stopped when I had my first experiences with a girl...

[Asker]

Wow, that was intense! Thanks for sharing!

[jpinka]

wow I got turn on lol

[Cammy137]

You all know that Blubb and the pink anon are the same person, right?

[dandelions1008]

It didn't used to be viewed as disgusting, we're human and when we're attracted to someone we're attracted to someone, we don't really choose who that is. I've been attracted to one of my cousins before and he to I. We actually made out with each other a few times, but then we decided it was wrong and to stop. I actually know 2 or 3 other people that did the same thing. So don't feel like its weird because its not uncommon. But I wouldn't recommend pursuing a relationship with close family members

[MissAndee]

Seriously, no judging, if you were to get a social life outside of this particular attraction that happens to be a family member you would find that you can actually be attracted and happy with someone other than family.

Yes I have experienced a first cousin being very infactuated with me and I spoke to my father about it and it just so happens he was no help at all so I stop coming around for a while and it worked because he no longer comes at me like that. OUT OF SITE OUT OF MIND

[themastaplan]

why talk to your father when you can talk with your cousin...then if it doesn't work talk with your father...

[kasiecakes]

Erm, I remember when I was little my mom asked me who I wanted to marry, and I said my little brother Kenny. Didn't know any better then. Err... No judgment right? My cousin used to make me sit on top of her and kiss her. I was like... 10? Not that it wasn't enjoyable or anything, I just never realized she was taking advantage of me until I got a lot older (by then, we had stopped).

[risktaker]

Sounds like you're a risktaker. Do you have feelings of doing something sexually with your relative BECAUSE it's seen as morally wrong and even illegal? Chances are you probably spend too much time with this family member and not other men/women. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like someone would only want something like that because of it's immoral properties.

[themastaplan]

i have hot cousins, you just have to deal with the fact that they are your family members and there is nothing to do about it...one of my aunts is also pretty attractive...but I would never go down that path, blood related or not...

[Asker]

What about masturbation?

[themastaplan]

maybe my aunt that wasn't blood related...

[cheergurl18]

i have seen my brother several times sleeping naked or watch him through the basement bedroom window get undressed and even masturbate, - I wonder what it would be like to give him a bj

[curiousdude87]

that's hot

[jennhottie17]

did he know you saw him?

[dnately]

This is an interesting question. As it happens I did some research about this a few years ago and found that some degree of sexual abstractedness and sexual physical contact is not uncommon at all between siblings. It's a very taboo subject, so we don't talk about it often, but many siblings who are close in age have done some sort of sexual "experimentation" as teenagers. This usually doesn't go as far as intercourse or oral sex-- mutual touching or stripping in front of each other is more common.

Furthermore, there were a few articles published in journals that showed that individuals who have had sexual contact with their siblings generally develop to be well adjusted healthy adults, as long as the interaction was not abusive in nature.

[Asker]

Any links?

[dnately]

I'll send you a private message.

[ElijahCynicism]

Could you send me the articles as well? I'd be interested in that, like, I got a lot of the information in my answer second-hand from people who had read similar articles, I'd like to actually see one based on it

[jpinka]

I was at my cousin house and we were in middle school, we bth were playing around wrestling and we started making out and dry humping. we touched but nothing serious and he licked my nipples.

he came over to my place and his brother was talking to my mom and her room and I gave my cousin a blow job and my bedroom and I liked it. it felt dirty, and loved it.

we never f***ed

[Dantemustdie]

I can never say I've been sexually attracted to a family member but I do acknowledge the fact that my sister is a very attractive girl, and I have a cousin who I think is really pretty. All my friends drool over my sister and it gets annoying sometimes, some of them take the piss and just ask 'if she wasn't your sis would you do her?'... lmfao its such a sick question

[CuriousEddie]

What do you consider close? My cousin and I flirted and kissed, but that was all...

[Belgie]

As for "someone else's" experiences... I know one user on GAG who created an elaborate online identity parade of family members. He played himself, his sister, his mother and possibly an aunt (not entirely sure how far it went). He would post questions to the board, from the various accounts, and in a long running game he'd occasionally refer to incidents between the various members of his extended sock puppet "family".

Despite Admins ruling on incest based questions, he found creative ways to get around this, so he could either ask incest based questions, or talk about incidents (say between the sister and brother) which had a heavy underlying incest theme.

Aside from that, let's see... I've lived in two countries where incest was legal. And I've known, let's say, at least 300 people in each country moderately well. I only ever met one person, who claimed to know of one person who claimed to have had sex with his sister. So even where it's legal, I think it has to be exceedingly rare.

[Belgie]

Well, according to the classics (Freud) it was fairly common. Oedipal complex in boys, Elektra complex in girls. Of course, Freud was a bit of a nutter by todays standards.

We have a better understanding of the psycho-dynamics behind it today. For example, we know that the Westermarke effect prevents the vast majority of people from feeling sexual attraction to people they grew up with. Siblings separated at birth and raised apart, can fall victim to GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) because the Westermarke Effect never kicked in.

It's possible that in Freuds time, when kids were often sent to boarding school, or a nanny took the place of "mother" in day to day life, that Freud suffered from a form of GSA himself. If his mother was a mostly absent figure in his own upbringing, it could certainly have contributed to his ideas on the Oedipal complex.

In todays society, with adoption very prevalent, and homes "broken" more often than not, through divorce and so on, it's possible that siblings raised apart, or children raised away from a parent (of the appropriate gender) could have some variant of genetic sexual attraction when they encounter that family member later in life, such as in puberty.

Obviously, given the nature of the subject, there hasn't exactly been much work done on it.

The most we can say today, is that where kids are isolated from their siblings, or raised apart... or where kids find the relevant parent or guardian to be missing from their upbringing.. it's possible that the Westermarke Effect (whose mechanisms we still don't fully understand) never had the chance to kick in properly, and mark those people as "undesireable" to the growing teenager.

Hope this answers your question.

[toouglytobeloved]

well if I knew my cousins and one wanted me and wanted to have "safe sex" with me and if she was hot and maybe end up marrying.. I would do it with her if she wants to tho ..she would have to be the one to break the ice/come out and confess etc first

[jennhottie17]

i don't know about common, but I think its natural if they're attractive. I've masturbated with my brother when we were younger, and had a 3some with him and his girlfriend. we didn't touch but it was pretty close, lol. we all had fun, and nobody got hurt.

and me and my gfs caught my dad masturbating once. they talked about his c**k so much I had a few fantasies.

[AlexCab]

I don't know if it's common or not. What I do know is that even if you feel it, it's not something you hear a lot of teens saying about their family members. Unfortunately it is exactly morality what stops you from openly saying so or engaging a cousin let's say in a full time relationship. It's both about the society that mandates what you can and can't do and it's also about Oedipus, the forbidden, etc. Freud said it :p

[taster]

Like I said ..before the Heavy Hand of A$$hole Censorship came down...I would more likely throw up then have even thoughts of sex with my mother or sister...have a first cousin tho...she is like 10 years older and very sexy...I offered her a back rub one day and she not only accepted but removed her shirt and was wearing no bra...I wish I had had the nerve to offer her oral.../:

[ThatBritishLad]

A psychologist (I think it may have been Freud D:) once said that in the pathway to sexual maturity, one must go through the thoughts of sex with relatives :P

... Now it's really nagging me! Who made that psychology paper!? Freud is too obvious! >.<

[Asker]

It's definitely not Freud. He said (and every serious psychologist today knows it was complete BULLSHIT) that boys go through a phase when they're around 6 (!) where they want to have sex with their mothers, but are afraid of their competitor (their father) threatening them to castrate them, and the kid then eventually identifies with his father and so is freed from his maternal fixation. That's the oedipus conflict/complex, and like I mentioned before, it's considered BS nowadays.

[ThatBritishLad]

It's still an interesting theory :P Thanks for telling me the name :D

[Asker]

You're right, it is interesting.

[Ourumov]

When I was a teenager and going through puberty I became sexually attracted to my female cousins and older sister. I guess it was just normal during that time. What did I do about it? for about a month straight I masturbated while smelling my sister's underwear. call me sick I don't care, but its what I did. Fiona83, did you ever experiance feelings like that towards family members?

[Piedpipper]

I was attracted to my cousin