How do I know if I've been raped?

I am currently in Europe for one month this summer, and I am really worried I might have been raped last night. My friend (who I am visiting) brought me to a party at one of her friend's house. We both had our fair share of drinks, and I decided to find a place on the floor to sleep (don't ask why...we all do stupid things).I woke up with different clothes on, and my entire feminine area was hurting. I asked my friend if anything had happened last night, and she admitted to me that when I had fallen asleep these two guys were trying to fool around with me. How can I tell if I was raped? Is there anything I can do? I'm also abroad, which makes everything 10x more complicated. Please please please give me any kind of advice. I'm scared something bad happened.
Updates:
+1 y
Just giving an update: I took the morning after pill just to be safe, and also went to the planned parenthood here to check for any diseases. I haven't gotten the results back yet, but I'm just hoping they turn out negative. Also, my friend wasn't in my presence, she went to bed before me (I didn't know that, so I feel bad for blaming her). I don't know if there is any way to arrest these guys considering there is no evidence, I don't even know who they were or who knew them. Any advice?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Do you speak the language of the country you're in. If so I ,assume you got proper insurance, and then just do what you would here. Go to the hospital and if necessary to the police. Even if you don't speak the language most people will likley speak a decent amount of English at the police station they have to get someone to translate, but it'd still be best to have someone who does speak the language with you.

    Obviously the hospital will only be able to tell if you were raped, if it's not too long ago. It'd be best if you didn't even shower yet but even if you did still go.

    If you didn't get proper insurance some countries have the policy that tourists don't need to pay for a doctor or hospital. My dad had to have a surger in Italy a couple of years ago and did cost us nothing, they didn't even file a request to our insurance company

    Sorry that happened to you and as others have said, chose your friends more carefully

    • they have planned parenthood in Europe? I always figutred their healthcare system would make it redundant. Does your friend know the name of those guys ? or anyone else you know? If you not you can still file a charge against a person unkown. If the hospital could extract some DNA there may even be some chance they get caught, if not I'd still report it but chances are rather slim. Just keep in mind rape is a federal offense if you do report they are required investigate because they state

    • becomes the principal plaintiff in that case so you can't change your mind about it.

  • I can't believe your friend let that happen to you that is not a friend. She should have stopped them and taken you somewhere else or called the police that's what I could have done if I was your friend. Here is what you need to do but I'm sure you already took a shower so I'm talking for nothing. You need to not pee or shower or wipe down there at all because if you were raped that is DNA evidence that is on your body. You need to go to the hospital right now and tell them that you think you were raped where they will preform a rape kit on you and contact the police. This is not your falt its the pigs that men are these days and the fact that your friend could let this happen to you. If you need to talk feel free. At the hospital they will also preform STD tests and such it is very important that you go.

    • Well that's why I told you to go to the hospital to collect evidence where they would have done a rape kit it was something that you should have done weather there was evidence or not.

  • you should have gone to the doctor and tell them the story so they could swab you and see if there were semen inside of you, if there is then they would give ito the cops so they can try to find out who did it. its not likely that a two guys would just kiss a girl that's laying passed out on the floor. especially not if there are two of them. I would go to the doctor and police and report it and I wouldn't talk to the friend anymore for not doing anythinf when she saw two dude were on you while you were passed out. she proably knows who they are even cause it happened in her friends house. which country in Europe are you in?

    • I'm in France, and I'm visiting this friend so I'm stuck with her until I go back to the States... It's kind of limiting everything I can do.

    • i think france has good laws and don't go too easy on rape charges, I would report it, do it now before its too late, it should be easy to find out who did it, I'm still sure your friend knows who did it. check into a hotel and let the police question your friend and don't talk to her again, that's what I would do

Most Helpful Guys

  • seriously, you would know, you would have all kinds of signs of sex, your pubic hair would have stains, you would smell, trust your gut feeling, if you have any reason to believe you were, then you probably were, get to a hospital asap, don't shower, get swabbed inside, blood cells would have burst if you were forced, and natural lubrication would not of occured if you were sleeping, don't take a second thought, go with your initial instinct, and what was your mate doing allowing two guys mess around with you? is she some kind of stupid thicko or something?

    • You can wake up with natural lubricant if you had a wet dream.

  • You have gotten lots of advice here, mostly saying get to a hospital now. Your response is that you will let it go till you return to the states. So you really are not that concerned about it.

    Question: why do you call the person who stood my and let this happen to you a friend?

    • I completely agree. She is not concerned at all. How many rape victims (Confirmed or not) do you know that would jump on the internet to ask if she's been raped? Seems like the most ridiculous thing one would do... Including waiting til she returns home... from where she can't do much to get justice if she were raped.

    • Where are you getting that I'm not concerned and I'm waiting to return to the States to solve this? I obviously care. I'm in a place where I can't do anything by myself but depend on others' help, so please, keep your opinion(s) to yourself if you're not going to the question I asked. I came here for advice, not being judged by where I get my advice from.

    • I did answer the question.. How many rape victims (Confirmed or not) do you know of that THINK they might have been raped, and their first instinct is to log into a website for advice? That's what doctors are for. Go see one. the fact that you are overseas makes no difference.. Doctors are qualified there too.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I would definitely go to the hospital. Depending on where it is, you might be able to get medical treatment for free, so why not at least check it out?

    It's very possible you were raped, the best thing to do is to go to the police. Your friend is an idiot for putting you in that situation and not trying to stop them. I know over here the hospital can do a rape kit that can get the DNA of whoever raped you. But you can't shower until they do the rape kit. So I would definitely go directly to the hospital and have that done. Tell them what happened, depending on where it is there is probably someone who speaks English.

  • If your friend went to bed before you... why did she say that when you fell asleep.. a couple guys were messing with you?..

    Quote: and she admitted to me that when I had fallen asleep these two guys were trying to fool around with me.

    You should have gone to a doctor... I would have gone to a doctor.. not login to GAG and ask unqualified strangers. Silly girl.

    • I did go to a doctor, thank you. I just want others' opinions considering things like this happen quite often.

    • Your question was to ask questions on the net. Any one REALLY concerned would not have been in the state of mind to first log into a freakin' website.. and what is the deal with your friend... and your update contradicting what she had already told you happened? Bullet holes.

  • Umm.. go and see a doctor. I do not see why you would ask this on the internet to strangers not qualified to advise you on this situation. Go see a doctor and get checked out.

  • Not sure how to tell if you've been raped, but to tell if something bad happened: get tested for STDs and pregnancy.

    -Nick

    • I plan on doing so when I get back to the U.S... but if everything comes back negative, is there any other way to tell if I had been raped?

    • You find that out the morning after. Waiting while you tour the country till you return home will likely hide signs of rape, but also give time for the diseases to settle in. What are you waiting for?

  • Call the cops or 911 and ask for a rape kit asap!

    • 911 in Europe?!

    • haha my bad.

  • If semen drained out then you were raped for sure. Even if there was none, they may have. My advice is take a day after pill and get on with your life.

  • What you don't know doesn't hurt you.

    Why do you have to know? Asking this from a psychological viewpoint.

    • That would be true if it didn't involve me. It's a scary thought to think you can go to sleep and wake up with the possibility of having been raped. Not knowing what really happened freaks me out. It's my BODY for Christ's sake... Of course I have to know.

    • Yeah man. At least you didn't wake up with your genitals cut up and with a great loss of sensitivity like I, and many other infants did and have to live with everyday.

  • go to police

  • First of all calm down and don't get yourself work up and stress out. It will make the situation worst for you. Well, if you're hurting down there something happened for sure. You cannot just hurt down there for no reason. So yes, someone had sex with you while you were drunk. You should go and see a doctor and get tested ASAP.

  • To me that sounds like you were raped. Why else would you have different clothes and your vagina hurts? Go to a doctor.

    • I want to say stop denying what happened, you know you were raped, it happened. It's nothing to be ashamed of because it isn't your fault. Go to a doctor no matter what country it is and tell them what you think happened and if it's a decent country they'll do a bunch of tests and hopefully those tests will end up putting the guys who did it in jail. Don't be embarrassed about it, you didn't have control. Just go visit a doctor as soon as possible.

    • I don't want to stress you out more than you already are but make sure you also get tested again for diseases in like a month or two in case you have something that won't show up right away. Good luck to you : )

    • Yes, I actually didn't know that but the doctor told me to do it again in 6 weeks. Thank you, though!

  • I don't know how do you consider her a friend when she let 2 guys fool around with you when you were unconscious and she was the one who had brought you there and didn't even try to stop them.

    • I know...tell me about it. People change over the years. It's been 5 years since I last saw her, and she obviously doesn't give a crap about responsibility. I just wanted to have a good time and then went to sleep...she should have been there to stop them, I agree.

    • I really feel mad. I feel like I wanna punch that traitress and send her to the furthest galaxy in this universe. Although I don't want to make you upset but I think you have really been raped. :( But still go to the hospital and the police those people should take their punishment.

  • You have one hell of a friend...