How do lesbians flirt with girls they have an attraction to?

If the girl is not gay would you still flirt them? I don't think a gay guy would flirt with a heterosexual male or would they? I apologize in advance if I offend anyone, but I'm curious.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • yes and no. I'm bisexual and I know a lot of gay people, I live in a super gay city. some lesbians/bi women will flirt with straight girls, some wont. although, many times a girl claims to straight and then ends up doing something very gay or flirting with one of us herself. I've had girls who claimed to be straight hit on me when they find out I'm bisexual. like I'm their ticket to experiment or something. I don't think most people fully understand their sexuality so I'm not surprised though.

    same with gay men. there definitely are men who will flirt with straight men BUT given all the violence and oppression they experience at the hands of straight men, its not as common. its 10x more likely for a gay man to get his ass kicked for flirting with some straight thugish "tough guy" than for the same to happen with women. gay men aren't stupid, theyve been teased and threatened enough usually that by the time they are adults, they are careful. safe spaces, relatively safe cities, etc. are the only places, generally, that a gay man will deliberately flirt with a man he knows claims to be straight. my school is a relatively safe space, I have straight male friends who aren't bothered when some of the gay guys here flirt shamelessly with them. they wouldn't try that in a place that was not a safe space, obviously, out of concern for their safety. but they also experience the same "i claim to be straight, but hey lets f*** later" scenarios. a lot of men are on the DL. lol plus it takes time coming to terms with your sexuality. plus a lot of bisexual men aren't interested in relationships with men or establishing an "out and loud" identity, so they only want sexual relationships with men and not have that broadcast to women they want to date. not all, but some.

    figuring out who is gay and who isn't - this can be a challenge. again, I live in an extremely gay friendly city (nyc - not that we don't have our sh*t to deal with here as well) so its a bit easier. a lot of us are femme or "lipstick lesbian" types so that makes it even harder, but a lot are more masculine or androgynous. its a safe bet (though not a sure thing) that these types will be lesbian or bi. body language helps though, eye contact, how they respond to you, if you already know theyre gay then its much easier, etc. there's gay bars and gay clubs, meeting people through your friends, etc.

    idk if I actually answered your question but I tried. :)

    • oh also people send out vibes or you get vibes. when I came out, I swear 70% of the time I could guess if someone was bisexual. lol and there may be little accessory things that people wear - gay or bi colors, symbols, bracelets, pins, etc.

    • Thanks.

Most Helpful Guys

  • lol Clearly you've never seen John Barrowman.

    https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=MeWiHerwTW4



    But anyway, some people are just flirts. Period. I'm a total flirt in person, and truthfully there's always a chance I'd flirt with anyone, regardless of their gender or orientation. It's not a conscious thing for me, and I'm pretty sure for those natural flirts out there, they're the same way. It's just a mood or a reflex or something. I toss it out there, and it's usually just me joking around or something. I'm told it's part of my charm. Y'know... for the one's who aren't already scared of me for some retarded reason.

    But yeah, anyone can flirt with anyone. In some cases it's just reflex. Pay it no mind.

  • Gay guys (and believe it or not some gay women) have flirted with me even when they know I am not gay. I am not too offended as I take it as a compliment as I am flattered either way.

    • I'm not offended. I don't even know if they are flirting, lol.

    • As you get older you will know when you are being "hit on"

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • how are they supposed to know?

    • Idk, maybe they have gay radar.

    • That's kind of presumptuous to think gay people always know who's gay, bi, or straight. They should be able to hit on whomever they want.

    • I wax just kidding, I have no clue either way.

  • I've been told if you are not gay and tell someone that was flirting with you or hitting on you they usually say sorry and back off.