Sexual Health
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How do I tell my boyfriend to rub my clit??

my boyfriend and I aren't having sex yet but we do other stuff and he fingers me sometimes. and well I don't know for me penetration with a finger just isn't that pleasing I don't really feel much. but sometimes he will rub me down there in the beginning when I still have my pants on and it feels s good when he rubs around my clit so how do I tell him that penetration just isn't something I enjoy and if he could rub my clit that would work? haha
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Tell him just like you told us. No need to be hesitant or afraid to tell your partner what you like best when it comes to sexual thing. How else would he ever know? I always say, if a person doesn't feel comfortable with telling their partner what they like or don't like, and what feels best or what hurts when it comes to sexual things they're doing then they aren't ready to be doing those things. If they keep quiet and are not communicating their feelings then it will not work out. You'll always be frustrated and never get the enjoyment out of that like you know you can. So just tell him like you'd tell him anything else. If he can't take it then you have some problem in your relationship. Communications is the most essential part of any relationship or in most everything else. Without it you really have nothing. Try using the computer without an internet connection. How about absolutely no one talks in school. Take the battery out of your phone. See what I mean. Life is a continuous give and take thing.

  • Some guys have to be guided-they don't realize girls aren't like wall sockets that just cause you put your finger in there, the light is supposed to go on. I would move his hand down there and sensually whisper to him to rub your clit and move his hand around the spot. As he does that let him know you're enjoying it by telling him it feels good so he'll continue. If he stops and goes back for the finger in the socket routine, tell him to rub it a little longer...if all else fails and he still thinks that fingering you right away will do the trick tell him straight up to just rub your clit until you tell him to finger you .

    • Thanx I wonder what he will think if I actually take control and show him what I like? haha cuz I'm usually really shy about stuff like this with him because I get turned on by a lot of the stuff he does (except the finering) so I get embarrassed alot

    • Don't be embarrassed - it can actually be sexy and he might actually like the fact that you're taking a bit of control. As you kiss slowly guide his hand on your clit and move it around whisper in your ear that you like it. Hopefully he'll get the point :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • guys like it when you tell them what to do when it comes to sex related things if he's fingering you then you know he does have a problem touching your clit so next time when he tries to finger you let him grt his finger down there as soon as he get back ur clit say keep it right there is a sexy voice..lol and if he moves it tell him to put it back and he will because he is trying please you he will rub whatever he needs to just to hear/see you cum..and I agree with you the rubbing is what better then the penetration..lol good luck

  • You can try taking his hand and putting his fingers on your clit and kinda move them around with his hand still in yours. He should get the hint without you feeling like you're "killing the mood" or anything. But the guys who answered are right too, you can just tell him! :o)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • While he's doing it, either tell him with words ("A little higher. That feels good!") or just guide his hand to where you want it. And say something encouraging, like "I like it when you touch me here."

    Women are all different (and so are men, I assume) as to exactly what they like best. So I like it when a woman shows or tells me how to please her. But I get annoyed when she orders me around.

  • Just tell him to rub it and then he would.

    • This answer is perfect. Nothing more or less needs to be said.

  • just order him with shouting! "RUB THERE" like that!

    wild way to tell him what you want. he will like. believe me.

  • look at him and say :"penetration just isn't somethin I enjoy and if you could rub my clit that would work haha"

    • Noooo, that's so like straight forward that would probably kill the mood/moment sheesh

    • Hold his hand and you take the lead put it where you want start rubbing your clit with his hand and pretend that you enjoy it so much and when he finguers you don't show him that you like it so he'll stick with clit rubbing thing if this doesn't work, then tell him straight forward!

    • Thanx I wonder what he will think if I actually take control and show him what I like? haha cuz I'm usually really shy about stuff like this with him because I get turned on by a lot of the stuff he does (except the finering) so I get embarrassed alot

  • Grab his hand and show him what feels, good if he is going down on your grab his ears and steer him. LOL

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