How do you know if a guy is a rapist?

or has the capacity to be one? i have had some bad experiences with a guy drugging me and another trying to sexually assault me on more than one occasion when I was yougner. so now I really do not trust men at all. anytime a guy asks me out I think he has a motive to rape or hurt me. I know all men can't be like that, and I really want to meet a good decent guy. what are some red flags that I should be looking for to stay away from these guys? the second guy I thought was really nice and he gained my trust. how do I know that won't happen again?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I suggest trying to meet your guys at church. They usually have more rounded reputations in the community, and you should be able to find out more about them that way. Now be warned.by just watching the news, this won't guarantee you that you still won't end up with a creep, but your odds of ending up with a drunkin' bum are a slightly better.

    I might also suggest you get some therapy if you haven't started some already. It really sounds as though you probably have some pretty deep wounds that you need to deal with. Rushing into a relationship might not be the best thing for you right now. You might want to get rid of some of the scars and hurt that you have had to deal with first. Sounds like you have had a rough road to walk.Sorry for that. There really are some scum bags in the world and they give the rest of the descent guys of the world a bad name. I hope you get things worked out and find you a great guy one of these days. There really are a few good ones left out there. I promise.

  • for one thing, you should probably get some kind of counseling, because rape is really psychologically damaging. The second thing is, you should really change the kind of crowd you hang out with. If your a beautiful woman that hangs out with a bunch of testosterone hyped frat boys- you'll have something to worry about. A good decent guy will be someone who really demonstrates that he cares for you. Who probably won't want to have sex right away, and is willing to wait to be with you. I would avoid bars,thats a sure fire way to meet a guy who wants pure sex. Take your time, and if they try to rush things, tell him you want to take your time, and if he forces you to do something, firmly say no.

Most Helpful Girl

  • the place where you meet guys could make a bit of difference. in bars and clubs I've found that the main motive is sex when you meet someone. its nicer to meet guys through work, uni or friends so that you know them well before starting something.

    thats what I think anyway.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You don't know. You can't know. You need to get psychological counseling to learn to accept that you can never predict for sure.

  • the sad truth is that their are no official red flags. or obvious signs. a good way to tell if a man is abusive or not is to take notice how he treats other people. does he like kids? does he treat his mom with respect?<-- that one is usually a good indicator. does he mistreat other creatures? is he easily pissed? does he consider your opinions and emotions? these are questions you gotta ask youself and find out the answers your self cause of course a rapist isn't gonna tell you the truth. just be careful with the people you meet. its okay if you don't trust guys, a lot of girls dont, but understand that most guys aren't rapist, but their are dangerous men out their.

  • If he has raped someone and has been put on trial for it in the past, I believe his name and face will be on this website.but not 100% sure.if not there, try googling for something similar.

    link << go there for pedophiles/rapists in your area