You're asking about the mechanics of sex, and that's a good question, for many reasons. First, let's fix something by expressing that all things, and I mean all things, can be "broken down to their basics", so yes while copulation is inserting the penis into the vagina and while that does not require skill there are varying elements to the process that do require either skill or natural ability.
So first let's talk females. The vaginal canal is a large muscle, since we're allowed to break things down to their basics, and therefore can be contracted and relaxed at will. This means that essentially you can give a vaginal massage with strong enough muscles which allows for quite a few things to be different when having sex where angle can matter a lot more because of that ability. These core muscles are almost imperative for being at your sexual best because what humans refer to as "tight" is actually the definition, to some degree, of the vaginal muscles which some women have naturally stronger ones than others. All can be improved through exercises. The real variation between vaginal "tightness" is almost negligible so muscular control is a must. This is also one of the key ways to fake orgasm.
Now, males. First, the penis is not simply a rod sticking out of a man. It may seem as such but it is a 3D textured object so knowing where, and how, to manage this texture is part of the package deal. Males can also user their own muscles to create a pulsating feeling, some of whom use it to fake an orgasm. This however can also be used to apply extra pressure depending on how the penis lifts or curves when engorged on an area. It's slight, but slight is enough for the human body to recognize, and with correct angling you can functionally change an experience. Now unlike the vagina the penis cannot be "improved" through exercise in the same way; the penis is not a pure muscular construct so it's very much so fixed to some degree and while it can be stretched while it's growing to just about any size for most people looking to increase the penis size those years are long past. You can stretch the penis a little but no more than a quarter of an inch on average through "rigorous regimines" for most men. So what you're born with genetically, without jelqing as a youth, is what you got.
Then there's universal attributes. First things first the pelvis and gonads are attached to a nerve ganglia. Knowledge of how to stimulate these ganglia is far more valuable than just knowledge of genital use. This includes managing the skin, the largest organ, and ...
Oh I'm out of space. Oh well.
Enthusiasm is a HUGE part of the answer, make no mistake!
But if you are asking about more "mechanical" aspects, then there are really two main ones that girls need to work on:
- BJs (refining your technique, learning to go fast enough/keep a rhythm, possibily learning to deep throat, being able to keep your mouth on it (or open) as he ejaculates, swallowing, etc.)
- Cowgirl/girl-on-top positions (developing your leg and core muscles, learning the variations of the positions to alter your speed/depth/angle/sensation, learning to come in that position, etc.)
As you said, in most positions/acts, the girl *mostly* just lays there and takes it, so it's these two items that really determine if a girl is good or not.
blackkid4 pointed out one more aspect, which is vaginal muscle control. Most girls never really develop that, but girls who have can give a guy some mind-blowing sex, and it will be a relatively unique skill, because most girls never bother with it. Being able to grip him and "pulse" your vagina can be rock-star amazing.
OMG you're thinking like a cave man,haha, no, you have to please your lady. You have to find out what she likes most, how she likes to be touched, to be treated, to be penetrated. If she likes you to go down there and lick all of her inner parts (front or rear end). I like my Boyfriend to kiss me down there and I like to BJ. We both like to snowballing, I love him to lick my vag after he finished in me. Different positions like back cowgirl or doggy style. Sometimes I only let him insert the tip and then I start to BJ him and when he's going to climax rub his pe*** with my vag and then BJ him to finish in my mouth. There are lot of variations that make sex very pleasurable and arousal. It's not only back to basics like in the prehistoric era. Remember we're in the 21st century and yes, girls do have initiative and desires to be satisfied by our guys. And you also may like something different or a variation in sex, so why not ask your girl to try it. Sex is to enjoy it by couples then do the best you can to enjoy with your girl and don't just f***k.
...I'm a girl. A straight girl.
Oops, well, let me tell you that we girls have necessities, desires, and we are free to enjoy our sex life as much as guys, so then, I'm glad you asked this question so guys can know our feelings about sex. Lol
I don't think there's any one way to be "good in bed" - the chemistry and interaction between the people involved is so variable that there's no one formula for it. But I've had a number of partners who have really enjoyed having sex with me and I would assume would use the "good in bed" label, and what they've appreciated is my lack of inhibition, enthusiasm for sex in general and for sex with them in particular, my physical and vocal responsiveness, enjoyment of my own body (without getting stuck into self-consciousness), willingness to try just about anything at least once, and how much I enjoy pleasing them as well. And lots of laughing and having fun.
But I really think those things all stem from just doing things I enjoy with people I am really turned on by. I would really just focus on feeling good and having a great time - you don't want to get stuck in a performative mode (unless that's your kind of thing!)
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Guy: thrust in and out. Have reasonable ejaculatory control.
Both parties: be enthusiastic and willing to show it. laugh off small problems, have fun, try to please their partner without hanging their self esteem on getting partner off, be open minded.
Enthusiastic really is an answer. If you're thinking it isn't, you are probably radically overestimating how enthusiastic a lot of people are during sex.
I suppose as minor points, there are some things that require 'skill' for women. - riding, if one of you two is into it, takes a little practice, mainly about just getting a feel for the angle and motion. - blowjobs and handjobs have the most potential for technique. That said, most women don't have good technique and guys get off anyway, so they never bother improving. Technique IS a plus here, but - and this holds true for a lot of things around sex - as long as people get off ...
most people enjoy sex more based on it being -hot- then being slightly more pleasurable. That's why 'enthusiasm' is important - your partner being into the sex, into YOU, making you feel that you're driving them wild at the same time you're feeling good - is more important then 'oh that felt slightly better on my d***'. 'skill' matters a bit more for men because women often don't orgasm as easily. And more pleasure is a good thing to explore. But passion matters a lot.
how else does one become good at anything?
I mean like what moves make it good?
er... it's subjective. good sex is always that. being good in bed is catering to what the other likes. since everybody is different sexually, there can be no universal good in bed.
I would guess practice
riding and grinding are my advice for you.
Since when can girls be bad at sex? If that were the case, guys would desire promiscuous women more.
Since they're more experienced
Um...are you trying to be funny?
Um...no
Practice it and be enthusiastic.
Only kidding. I'd say genuinely love the person you're with and listen to what they say they like. What's a turn on for one person will be a turn off for someone else. So there's no one thing technique that will always work on all people.
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