How Hating Condoms Made Me a Better Man

Condoms are a necessary evil. They minimize the risks associated with sex, but they reduce the sensation associated with sex. If you live a promiscuous lifestyle, however, they are not an option. Too many diseases and whatnot exist to assume the risk of not using one. When I had sex without condom with one of my first girlfriends years ago, though, it made me realize that sex was rarely worth having if you're using a condom in the first place. Here's why:

1. If You Need to Wrap it Up, You Don't Trust the Person You're Having Sex with

I met a girl on OKCupid; we were having sex with a condom, and she told me to take it off. She said she'd been tested and was on birth control, but I thought, "how many other times has she done this?" Then I thought, "if I don't trust this girl enough to remove the condom, then why am I having sex with her in the first place? Especially when the condom is zapping a lot of the pleasure." Therefore, using condoms makes you aware of the health risks you take during sexy time. Additionally, they make you keenly aware of your partner's sexual history, which is rarely a good thing.

How Hating Condoms Made Me a Better Man

2. You Don't JUST Try to Get into Someone's Pants

If you hate condoms, then you only want to have sex without condoms. The only way to have sex without condoms is to get to know someone really well and have a fulfilling, longer-term relationship with them (unless you live a risky lifestyle). Therefore, you rarely try to get into someone's pants in the short-term since, in the best case scenario, you would have to use a condom. Short-term sex isn't appealing anymore. You start needing something deeper.

How Hating Condoms Made Me a Better Man

3. You Vet the Opposite Sex More Closely

This one is especially for guys. When we want to have sex with a lady, we let a lot of things slide that, if the roles were reversed, should have gotten her rejected a long time ago. When we want to have sex with a lady without a condom eventually, then we start paying closer attention to how she behaves to see if it will be compatible with our personality over the longer-term. If you don't want to use condoms eventually, then you need to trust each other, as opposed to a one-night-stand where you just need consent.

How Hating Condoms Made Me a Better Man

4. The Need for Connection Attracts More Potential Partners

This one is especially true for guys again. By not rushing to try to get into a girl's pants, you set yourself apart from other guys, in a good way. Additionally, by considering the risks associated with sex to such a degree to refrain from it until you trust the other person, you frame yourself as a responsible and mature person (but not a prude). Lastly, everyone wants what they can't have, so holding sex back from a person that fancies you may turn out well in the long run.

How Hating Condoms Made Me a Better Man
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Excuse you. Condoms prevent pregnancy. There are women out there (such as myself) who cannot go on birth control due to a clotting disorder and a history of strokes. So I don't care what reasons you give for going bareback... condoms will be used always.

    • You Write!, like a Boss.

    • Women have 11+ forms of birth control. Your telling me that you can't even use ONE?

    • @Mysterio421 - the active chemical in both control (the one in all forms) restricts my bloodflow, causes clots, and increases the chance of me having another stroke. So yes, I can't take anything. That's what I'm telling you.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Good points. I like being promiscuous though so condoms I shall continue to wear lol.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • How come no one's mentioned that even committed couples who only have sex with each other (and the women uses the pill) may still want to avoid pregnancy? The pill is not 100% effective, therefore if they are having regular unprotected sex in a monogamous relationship, if they're only relying on the woman using the pill, they will inevitably get pregnant, because they're pushing their luck really. And also, not all women can use the pill because of certain side-effects, regardless of different "brands", so what then? Has she then let down the couple, and the guy shouldn't be expected to practice safe-sex by wearing a condom? It's not about casual sex or monogamous sex or, or trusting someone or not, it's about understanding that whenever you engage in intercourse, you should simply take necessary steps to protect yourself and your sexual partner from an infections (and/or pregnancy, if they don't an that), whether you are long-term or short-term. It's not nearly as complicated as people make it out to do be. If you don't want sex with a condom, and only have sex without using one, then bottom line is TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS, and if you do that, your own personal beliefs don't even come into question.

    • Men think it's the young lady's responsibility for not having a baby, which is false it's both.

  • Nope.

    "They reduce sensation" is pretty much BS. The only way the feelings change is if you have a mental hang-up, and while that's an issue, it's basically just your lizard brain trying to trick you into producing more kids.

    "Trust!" is nonsense. Hormonal Birth Control is the seatbelt to the condom's airbag. Better to have both.

    Everything else has NOTHING to do with condoms and everything to do with not being promiscuous. It's not like condoms stop HPV or several forms of herpes.

    • "'They reduce sensation'" is pretty much BS" is pretty much BS. However, the aforementioned sentence is subjective no matter what perspective you take.

  • You make some good points. But basically all it comes down to is that if you're not willing to use condoms, casual sex is not an option, which we all knew already. I wouldn't say that it makes you a better person to have realized that. It just means you don't want to use condoms and you also don't want to catch every STD that's out there. So basically, it makes you a cautious person who doesn't like to use condoms.

    • Wait, so I made good points that you knew already... thanks? I don't know if that's a compliment or meant to belittle. And you're right, being more cautious doesn't necessarily make you better, but How Not Using Condoms Made Me More Cautious is a lame title. Personally speaking though, I think considering my condom use made me a better man. The consideration caused me to be more self-aware of my actions when pursuing the opposite sex, which is an improvement, in my opinion.

    • It wasn't meant to belittle, I just think it's a stretch to say that you are a better person for avoiding casual sex simply because you don't want to use condoms. Avoiding casual sex is a smart choice, and there are lots of benefits, but the motive is a tad petty. That said, if this experience has changed you on a deeper level, more power to you.

    • Ah I see where you're coming from, my point was that not wanting to wear condoms was a catalyst for deeper thought for reasons I should avoid casual sex, not the primary reason for avoiding casual sex altogether. Otherwise, I would agree that avoiding casual sex just because you don't want to use condoms is petty. You feel me though

  • I have never understood the big deal with condoms. I say this in the sense that yes I have had sex both with and without condoms. Is the sensation with a condom less? Perhaps a little, but not so much that I didn't enjoy the sex, and from my perspective if the sensation was less, then I just lasted a little longer, which in my opinion is a win. I am presently married and my wife cannot have children anymore so we have unprotected sex all the time, and yes I enjoy it very much, however if she for whatever reason wanted me to start wearing them, guess what I would. I feel this way because not only do I love my wife dearly, but if she wanted this then I would respect her enough to honor her wishes. Lastly I'm not the guy who buys into the idea that I'm sooooo much of Uber man that I'm too good (or selfish) to refuse to use a condom.

  • Studies have been done recently (go find them yourself) suggesting that condom use is about as generally effective as pulling out, in practice. People tend to fuck it up, like so many other things. They don't pinch the tip, they handle them incorrectly, pull them off too soon, readjust them incorrectly, etc. etc. May as well just pull out. That's what I've always done, except for one time when I accidentally got my girlfriend preggers. You know. She had a kid around a year later. I still don't know if it's mine or her husbands. We broke up a month or two afterwards, so... Well, in any case:

    I wouldn't even have sex if I could only have it with a condom. Fuck condoms. And yeah. The best way to do that is by having a long-term relationship. The only way I've ever been laid is through a relationship, because that's how the vast majority of women determine sex is worth it. If they're actively dating you, that's how they've determined you're worth sleeping with, most likely. They can't separate sex and love: sex is love. Whereas, it's just a physical act to men--and can be love, but it doesn't have to be. Therefore, the most likely way you're getting laid is with a girl you love and that loves you (unfortunately).

    As for holding sex back, fuck you OP. What are you trying to pull here bro? Females don't need any encouragement holding back sex. What are you thinking? :O You're working for them, aren't you? IT'S A MOLE! YOU'RE A MOLE!

  • Going without condoms is just nasty no one wants your gunk everywhere, and the combo of birth control AND condoms is way more reliable. If she accidentally misses a pill or looses them at the wrong time then you could end up a daddy! Plus condoms help guys last longer! Plus you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position to be lied to. You can't just blindly trust that she's on the pill, has taken it at the correct time, and hasn't missed any, It's like playing Russian roulette. What if you wanted to leave a girl and she sabotaged her own birth control to manipulate you to stay with her, it happens all the time. So I think a tiny bit more sensation is not worth the risk and you are being pretty shortsighted.

  • I get that you do want a relationship before having sex. (or do you want casual sex? if so, disregard some things I'm going to say) You want to build a relationship and trust so that you will be able to not use condoms. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. My boyfriend hates condoms, he can feel very little with them on. So, I'm on birth control (plus it's way more effective) But if I was doing random hookups, I would definitely use condoms.
    However, if you want casual sex with no condom then you have to be ready to take care of a child if the woman doesn't/can't use birth control, it's just as much your responsibility as hers.

  • You trust someone blindly and you think that taking the risk for pregnancy makes you feel more connected to someone. I'd say you didn't become a better man, you became gullible and stupid.

  • Can totally get that yes. Never used condoms either, or well I tried, but omg how bloody uncomfortable, that much for me at least it loses the point of having sex in the first place. Only ever had serious relationships. So get what you mean. To me it seems like such propeganda really at times, regarding condoms. People think everyone have stds, and think that even if you sleep with someone once you will always get it, but that isent true either. People dont bother to even take the time to get to know someone anymore first, cause you can avoid a lot of things by just doing that. And for the record for people who seem so delusional about it all, birth control pills are more safer than condoms statistically speaking from getting pregnant.

  • Well, I have some good news for you. They are almost finished developing a male birth control pill. It will be released soon :3

    • Really? Can you tell me more... that's highly interesting to me.

  • IF we both get tested and both come out negative then no condom is needed. Not really a trust issue but more like a situation where people don't always know if they have something. It could have been like 5 years ago when the man/woman was a hoe and got something. Now they are trying to be a one man/woman person and BOOM you find an STD. Anyways, just side on safety. Trust is a given but nature always rears its ugly head i. e. pregnancy/STD/HIV/ETC...

    • What about HPV risk which increases a woman chance of developing cervical cancer?

    • @Roostah yeah HPV is a bitch cause condoms don't prevent it. Dunno. Just guess I will masturbate for the rest of my life.

  • I hate them, I would rather not have sex at all than wear one. But it's ok because I never sleep around randomly, only in relationships

  • And better yet scientists have come up with birth control for men just a pill a day and you can have condomless sex with a girl you trust knowing that you remembered to take your pill so you get to go to sleep knowing your not a dad

  • Condoms are a couples best friend! I use a condom alllll the time and im in a serious relationship of 13-ish months. I dont care how much better it feels without a condom on, im not risking catching an STD and sure as heck not physically, emotionally, or mentally ready for a baby.
    I have way bigger priorities in front of me that can't get pushed aside if that happens. PROTECT yourself 🤗 And wrap it up lol.

    • Condoms don't protect against all STDs... And abortions and day-after pills are a thing. I'm sure the latter is uncomfortable and potentially rough, though, I guess.

  • Female birth control alone is not as effective at preventing pregnancy as condoms alone. Using both almost (ALMOST) eliminates risk of pregnancy.

  • Read that as "how haitian condoms made me a better man" otherwise nice job clickbating

  • yeah man your really right birth control and condoms really fucked up how we look at sex and its good someone can see its really not good to be having sex with so many partners that you dont even know, have a connection with and even like. i think people are really starting to abuse sex

  • Ya lets not control how many kids are in the world up voted

  • I don't use them with my girlfriend I have been with her 5 years and we haven't used one yet no pregnancy yet or nothing I am good enough to pull out because I know how to control my penis.

  • Excellent take. Too many guys complain that condoms take away the enjoym, ent of sex. They also take away the babies and the need for a stable relationship. But why would babies and a stable relationship be a bad thing?

    Time to behave like adults in your sexual relationships, guys.

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