How important is sexual attraction in a relationship?

I met this guy while I was on vacation last year. We went out a couple of times, he's a really nice genuine guy and ticks all the boxes, except that I'm not sexual attracted to him. I didn't feel any chemistry/passion between us. He kept pursuing me and we kept in touch through email. He's not particularly witty/flirty/ bad -boyish either which is a trait I go for usually in guys but he really is a nice guy who treats me really well. The thing is he's coming to visit in a couple of weeks. Should I go for it even though I feel no physical attraction towards him? or do you think it will change once I see him for real again?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • This is always so tough. Guys want you to date without physical attraction, but they also want you to respond to them as if you were physically attracted to them. Being that you haven't seen him in a long time, its hard to tell if you will or won't be attracted. Hearing a guy's voice, taking in his scent, seeing his expressions -- these are easier ways to tell if you're attracted than just reading e-mails.

  • For girls sexual attraction usually must be compromised to get a good relationship.

    So go for him. It most likely won't change but hopefully an emotional/mental connection will lead to being attracted to him because you love him and not because he's himself.

    • See the up vote? Guys want to date girls they're attracted to but would prefer the woman they want to grow their attraction.

    • Lol, attacking people who agree with you? Lejjjj, hahahaha

    • lol Not attacking. That's a generality for guys. Getting advice from girls who say don't date him won't help her. She's better off hoping attraction will come because she loves him rather than because she likes him.

    • Show All
  • I think it's extremely important, BUT, I think sexual attraction and physical appearance are two different things.

Most Helpful Guys

  • its what keeps people faithful and keeps the sexual energy at its peak. I wouldn't ever be in a relationship where there wasn't loads of sexual attraction. Its a wonderful feeling being on either side of this. And if it were missing I'd be searching for it somewhere else.

    • But that's if you're missing feeling it on your end, not on her end ... right?

    • true, I know for sure he's physically attracted to him with the way he acts around me but I'm not to him!

    • sorry - *physically attracted to me* I meant

    • Show All
  • I have no faith in a relationship without sexual attraction. I could never bring myself to date a woman with whom there was little(or no) mutual physical attraction.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If there's no sexual attraction, I think that's called friendship.

  • Don't date him.

    He wants a girl who's attracted to him, *including sexually*. If that's not you, then don't fake it.

    P.S.: It won't change. Worse, when you find one that does turn you on, he'll know, and it'll hurt.

  • Sexual attraction grows with someone. It can start at 0 and grow to 100 with affection =] If the relationship is good, then it should be just as good over time, but you have to let yourself be open minded about that sort of thing.

  • just give it to him, who knows you may enjoy it. you'll at least feel comfortable, which is the most important thing I find

  • I know what you are talking about, I've been in this situation a couple of times, you really let a guy down, when you reject him. Given he's into you of course. I think you should give him a chance, but still not feel forced...