How to forgive the person who gave you an STD?

[Anonymous]

Especially if it seems like its nothing to them. It even seems as though he faults you for choosing to sleep with him.

[parkway]

Why would you forgive a guy who did not care enough about some other woman to use protection. He sees you lower than a dog because he did not care if he killed you or not, all he wanted was a nut.

It seems that you don't get it. What if it came with AID's or Herpes? How much would you want to forgive him when you finally meet the man of your dreams and he can't touch you because you are cursed? Think.

[Asker]

Me being angry doesn't change anything at all. I'll still have the STD. Still think about it all the time. Still cry at night. Still worry about finding someone in the future but, if I can forgive him at least that will be one less thing to weigh on me.

[NotTheFBI]

Oh you mean being forgiving and being kind? Ok, how about I write 'Kindness' on a baseball bat and beat them to death with it... yeah I think that'll work. I bet that asshole knew he had that STD and still decided to not let you know until after. there's a time to forgive and a time raise hell. Maybe not with a bat but no don't forgive that f*cker!

[AmandaLynn1930]

i wouldn't forgive them. especially if they knew about it and diddn't tell me. or if they don't seem remorseful. you don't HAVE to forgive them. thats 100 percent your choice..

[acrus]

don't forgive him! first off, he thinks it's not a big deal when it clearly is. The fact that he belittled and he is blaming you is disgusting. If I were you, I'd sue !!

[Remonster]

Well if he has that disgusting attitude, you shouldn't forgive him. You should kick him in the balls!

[Klaatu51]

u don't have 2 forgive him, especially if he was aware by tda fact he had a STD 8)

[Bandit74]

you don't forgive them

[Despondency]

Wrong. The female in question chose not to protect herself by using a condom; you must forgive the other person for not acting in her favor AND you must forgive yourself for being stupid. Prevention is everyone's responsibility.

[Bandit74]

@despondency If he knew that he had an std isn't he legally obligated to inform his partner before sleeping with them If he didn't know then I agree that they are both equally responsible.

[Despondency]

You are not actually legally obligated to inform anyone of anything at the time of sex. You can be convicted for purposefully spreading diseases but keep in mind even the few people who spread AIDS (HIV) on purpose were not convicted of a crime relative to sexual behavior or misconduct but instead harm (such as murder). There's actually no law on sexual behaviors of any sort related to the spreading of disease. This is why it's everyone's fault; just as you don't give your wallet to total strangers for fun and expect all your cash in there when you take it back (if you get it back) you also don't have sex with total strangers without condoms.

[Bandit74]

@despondency seriously? I thought that once you're diagnosed that you have an obligation to inform future partners before you sleep with them?

[Despondency]

No. That is how so many STDs actually spread; a lot of people know something is wrong with them (because they are symptomatic) but choose not to divulge that information and you are not required to. More common issues like yeast infections for instance may be in their beginning stages and simply ignored as well or a person may just be inebriated.

[Bandit74]

@despondency I wouldn't even consider myself a caring or compassionate person but I just think that's really fucked up. If you know you have something and you sleep with someone anyways without telling them.

[Despondency]

It's no different than having a cold and still going to a party risking infecting everyone. So such are humans.

[Bandit74]

@despondency I'd say it's different. Sure it's the same principle I guess but I think the severity of what you infect them with does make a difference. lol you always talk about humans as if you're not one but rather some alien who is just observing/studying us 😂 😦

[Despondency]

Oh, right, I should blend in more. That aside the principle sadly doesn't change; going to a part with the flu (severe) and going with a cold (mild) are equivalent, so such is having sex with genital herpes while clear and without an outbreak or just having "crabs".

[Asker]

@despondency since thats the way you see it, so how do you forgive someone who gave you the uncurable flu (or in my case HPV) when they don't seem to care? Because I excecepted that is partially my fault too.

[Bandit74]

@despondency

[Asker]

*accepted that...(sorry my phone glitches some times)

[bubble_tea]

@Despondency
"There's actually no law on sexual behaviors of any sort related to the spreading of disease."
Actually, there is..
www.aclu.org/.../asset_upload_file292_35655.pdf

[Despondency]

@bubble_tea Is it just HIV then? Because those laws are exactly what I was referring to with "You can be convicted for purposefully spreading diseases but keep in mind even the few people who spread AIDS (HIV) on purpose were not convicted of a crime relative to sexual behavior or misconduct but instead harm (such as murder)."

[bubble_tea]

@Despondency Isn't misconduct the same thing as misdemeanor? The latter is listed in 'type of crime'.
Also you said "You are not actually legally obligated to inform anyone of anything at the time of sex.", but you are depending on where you live. www.aids.gov/.../

[Despondency]

@bubble_tea Again this only relates only to HIV. That was covered.

[bubble_tea]

@Despondency some STDs such as HPV can be spread despite using a condom.

[Despondency]

@bubble_tea What does that have to do with required reporting? You aren't required to report HPV. This only applies to one specific virus, which was covered; if you have other citations for laws related to other particular diseases that would be greater otherwise there's nothing further to say. I thank you for getting sources on the things I mentioned though; saved me work.

[bubble_tea]

@Despondency nothing lol just noting you shouldn't be as quick to judge as in your first response to Bandit.. if she got a STD, it must be because she was stupid and didn't use a condom. it is not true. You're welcome. I was curious myself.

[Despondency]

@bubble_tea You shifted goal posts. That explains why that didn't make any sense. Let's try giving a signal phrase or anything if you're going to shift gears and change arguments. Prevention is everyone's responsibility, and if the person passed HPV from a condom as a male, who is generally asymptomatic anyway (therefore promoting a totally different type of problem relating to knowingly spreading it since there's no reason to check for it), blame would be completely pointless. I'm going to assume it wasn't just HPV.

[bubble_tea]

@Despondency I agree with you that it's everyone's responsibility, but shit happens still when you're responsible. The asker said a little further up in this 'thread' that it's HPV. And yes, most men are asymptomatic and HPV can't be tested on men, maybe this info can help her forgive him. Oh and the link I provided. The misdemeanor charges are for STD, not HIV. HIV = felony charges

[Asker]

@bubble_tea and @despondency thank you. The debate that the two of you had gave me enough insight to understand how to handle my problem.

[meatballs21]

It depends on the STD! If it's curable then I forgive you, now piss off. If it's incurable (herpes, HIV, etc) then it's potential lawsuit time.

[Succcesssfulll]

I wouldn't forgive them.

[Chick180]

He knew about it? What a prick.

[Despondency]

Did they give it to you on purpose or with knowledge they themselves had the STD?

[Toad-1]

i think you could press charges against him for doing that... not sure on that though

[zoarob]

If he was know that may harm you, you should not forgive him

[Lillianascelin]

cut off his penis

[thisisgonnahurt]

i never forgive.