How To Make Love To A Beautiful Plus Sized White Woman!

[Anonymous]

Are you a minority male?

....

I thought so or you wouldn't be here :D

Are you not having any dating luck?

The girls of your race are leaving you for other men?

Well have no fear.

If you've ever been checked out by a beautiful plus sized white woman, you have MASSIVE potential for love and pleasure.

You simply need to know how to unlock that potential.

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What You Will Need:

A) Your sexy body

B) Her sexy body

C) Nutella ($2 at Walgreens)

D) Mp3 file of "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie (Download from YouTube)

E) Sport Knee Braces ($12 at Target)

Preparing Yourself:

A) Take a piss. Take a shit. Don't eat a big meal prior.

B) Also ejaculate prior.

C) Place on the sport knee braces. Believe me, your legs will get tired fast.

D) Place the Nutella in your pocket.

E) Load up the song in your mp3 player.

Rite of Passage:

Now I want you to understand that making a love to a plus sized white woman is a sacred rite of passage. It's a tradition that dates back to the slave days. When the Massah couldn't fulfill the mistress properly, she would call the houseboy to her chamber. He was much younger than the Massah and full of energy despite being enslaved. She allowed him to convert his work energy into sexual energy. Thus the tradition began when she came from the houseboy.

Unfortunately, she grew feelings and had him hung when she saw him being romantic with another slave. But we're just talking about his initial action, not the outcome. Have no fear, you won't be hung in this day and age, well unless you want to roleplay ;)

How To Make Love To A Beautiful Plus Sized White Woman!

-SHE WILL FEEL THE THUNDA TONIGHT

Step 1: Nutelling your body for her pleasure

It's scientifically proven that white women like Nutella. While your skin may not taste or look like Nutella, you can stimulate Nutella on it. Nutella is the butter and your skin is the bread.

Place some Nutella on your chest and she will proceed to playfully lick it off you. Then place Nutella on her chest to give her breasts a new flavor. Finally place some Nutella on the head of your penis; it will be a wonderful blowjob for you!

Step 2: Lioneling your strokes to her pleasures

Sex is very repetitive. Seriously, dick in dick out. Why be so repetitively boring? Why not be repetitive and groovy? It doesn't matter what generation she's from, "All Night Long" is an amazing song. You'll like it, she'll like it. You can time your strokes to it to help you last longer.

You can also play a drum beat with her lovely creamy glutes.

Step 3: Earning the smile

Throughout the session, be cautious of her face. You want the Dlicious smile to remain dominant over the Where's The Thunda smile.

Where's The Thunda smile = What you don't want

Dlicious smile = What you want

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Making love to a beautiful plus sized white woman is an art that dates over 400 years. Don't let our tradition go to waste. Make the vanilla feel the thunda.

On this note, I'm closing shop. It was fun being your tutor on this adventurous journey :]

P.S. - This is totally not satire. You'd be delusional for even thinking it was...