How to start if you've never masturbated before?

So the whole idea of touching myself has never appealed until I recently started having sex. I get turned on when my Boyfriend touches me but I've tried once or twice on my own and I feel nothing. I'm not hardcore enough to go for vibrators or anything, or to even think about touching myself - but my Boyfriend thinks that it will make my sex experience with him better and I'm willing to give it a try... Any tips on how to ease into it? And actually feel something?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • First, your boyfriend is absolutely right. Feeling good with our bodies is something we learn. It doesn't fall from the sky and it doesn't come from our partners, we figure it out. And that means beating off.

    Vibrators, hardcore? A vibrator is just something that buzzes. (A past generation used to LOVE large vacuum cleaners for just this reason.) If it's the shape that bothers you, get one that looks like an egg or a dolphin or something abstract or something.

    Remember to pay attention to what's between your ears as well as what's between your legs. Your mind and body will give you feedback on what works for you--physically, mentally, and emotionally. Pay attention to that; you'll need to explain it to your boyfriend. It's why communication is hugely important--your man has no other way to access this.

  • I am married and have wanted my wife to get into the same act. I have not succeeded at all. I think more than 50% of it is in the mind. You have to feel like it. You have to be turned on by some thoughts. Being a man, it is difficult for me to imagine what turns a women on. For us it is easy. Just think about a steamy situation and we go boner. You should just relax and lie in the bed and dream. Think as if your hands are your bf's hands and then make them play. But be gentle so that you enjoy. It will take time but you will get there. I assure you, in the long run, it will only be good for both of you. So please please please don't shy away from it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • it really is a mental thing with girls you have to be in the right mindset. and I wouldn't write off vibrators completely...they really aren't that hardcore depending on what you buy. I would start off with just a little bullet vibrator for beginners. they get the job done and they aren't intimidating. oh and don't focus on getting an orgasm because you will just get frustrated. just focus on making yourself feel good. once you find out what works you will be able to do it again but getting your first orgasm solo is hard if you have never done it before.

    and masturbating will make your sex experience better. if you know how to make yourself come it makes getting off during sex that much easier and more pleasurable. plus you get way more comfortable with your own body!

  • Girl you don't know what you're missing it feels soooooooo good once you get the hang of it you'll love it.

    Well first make sure you're relaxed. Make sure you think of something that really turns you on perhaps having sex with your boyfriend or think of a fantasy and play it back in forth in your mind while you're masturbating it's more of a mental thing. If you're not into it enough you won't feel anything. And your boyfriend is right it will make your sexual experiences with him better it's good to know your body.

    If people's answers don't help google some information about it.

    Goood Luck & hope I helped

  • For me, I just can't get turned on knowing that it's just MY hands "getting it on" down there.

    But I've figured out that if I use something else rather than my own fingers I don't feel so awkward. (It doesn't have to be a vibrator.) I just use a fat-ish pen or something similar in shape. You can also imagine that it's your boyfriend who is touching you.

    This has helped a lot because now I no longer am thinking about what my fingers are feeling or doing, but instead I can focus solely on how I feel down yonder. I hope this makes sense, and helps some?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • he wants you to be more in tune with your body, its a good thing, sometimes he won't always be there and you get in the mood, just try to relax and think about things that make entice you or turn you on. For starters think about your boyfriend when in the shower or anywhere when your in the mood. Just take it slow and relax, if you still have problems google it.

  • Find a comfortable place(maybe your bed) and just completely relax. Let your mind wander and fantasize about things that turn you on. Gently stimulate your clit while doing so, and you'll on your way to discovering new experiances whether it be likes or dislikes.

  • I think the best way is to trying talking on the phone with your boyfriend about what you like hearing his voice will get you into it or how about you ask him to try phone s3x with you...good luck